Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Everyone using me for childcare

450 replies

Clueless1315 · 12/10/2017 13:00

I have two children, a boy and a girl, I live in a flat, recently a new neighbour moved in above me with twin boys my sons age and a little girl the same age as my daughter. They attend the same nursery and school. One day she asked for my number to arrange a play date, I said okay. She called about 2 weeks later asking me to pick up her daughter from nursery, it progressed week by week till it was dropping off or collecting from nursery or school three times a week. Then when they were with me I'd give snacks. One of the twins had an allergy and she hadn't told me, I only found out on offering snacks one day and asking her about it that evening. When she would come for the kids she would text I'm going to come down for them in a couple minutes please put their coats and shoes on and have their bags ready. She has never offered me a penny or given me any food. I don't enjoy having my house constantly filled with kids, but she views it as I'm home and she's at work, therefore I can help out. But it's tiring and stressful.

So I was complaining to my friend one day and she said oh you should charge her at least £30 a day, she's getting free childcare. Anyways this friend was going to a wedding in Paris with her husband and asked me 4 months ago to have her three children, three little girls (12, 7, 5). She kept saying she would give money for them for food, for my time and for an activity or two. So I had the children for a week they're back with her now and she said she had put the money into my account. So imagine my shock when I went to the bank and it was only £20 in my account. Feeding them alone had cost more than that. I feel like such a mug. I'm on benefits and watching every penny but these cheeky fuckers have taken the piss.

And on her Facebook are photos of her shopping in Paris and visiting expensive restaurants and venues with her husband. They both have a higher income than me.

I think they're being extremely unreasonable about their childcare expectations.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 12/10/2017 20:50

This woman is a prize bitch. I hope you manage to get it sorted out. As DjBaggy said, I would tot it all up with receipts, any Facebook screenshot evidence and any text messages etc and take the bitch to small claims.

thatdearoctopus · 12/10/2017 20:55

He's put pyjamas on.

I don't know why, but that made me laugh.

This is insane! Not you, of course, but everyone around you, by the sounds of it.

hollie11 · 12/10/2017 20:56

Shock unbelievably cheeky. Never ever do this woman a favour ever again. I cannot believe some people have the nerve to behave so selfishly.

Gemini69 · 12/10/2017 20:56

I cannot believe what I'm reading here... WTAF

I'm kinda relieved your Ex is there Lady Flowers

ViserionTheDragon · 12/10/2017 20:56

Get your nan to read this thread, she will understand.

Meanwhile, get rid of that woman who claims to be your friend.

Snausage · 12/10/2017 20:58

Unlike most exes, yours sounds as if he's got his head screwed on!

As PPs have said, keep calm, Clueless! Remember that you're just asking to be treated reasonably, not to be taken for a mug.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 12/10/2017 20:59

I am so ANGRY on your behalf OP!

I would send one of the suggested texts from up thread. I'm not sure I'd be able to resist putting something snarky on Facebook either about being taken advantage of.

Or maybe just send a text saying 'you know what? A friend wouldn't take absolute advantage of someone and then try and make out that it was them that had a problem, expecting reimbursement for a WEEK of looking after three kids - especially after asking for specific expensive activities. Don't bother contacting me again. Friends like you I can do without.'

My god I am livid.

GreenTulips · 12/10/2017 21:00

Tell Ex you charge £25 per night bed and board or sod off back home

Hortonlovesahoo · 12/10/2017 21:04

This is a good chance for you to learn your backbone with your ex.

"OK, well you've seen i'm fine... off you fuck".

"Thanks Nan. Lovely to see you but i'm fine. Just wanting to catch up on something on iplayer so i'll see you soon"

Shadow666 · 12/10/2017 21:07

He put his pajamas on? And they think you’re the crazy one?

It’s your flat. If you don’t want your Ex there turf him out. Turf them all out. They all sound like dicks.

Clueless1315 · 12/10/2017 21:07

Charge ex for board! Great one! He's just testing his luck. He likes rescuing me. I'm sitting down listening to ex and nan say how they never liked her and she's too full of herself.

Nans medicine turned out to be herbal tea! She's given me three cups already.

So called friend has just texted me a photo of us together for my 30th birthday.

OP posts:
Delilah21D00LoT · 12/10/2017 21:08

Your 'Friend' has got everyone else involved, telling people that you're off your pills because it takes the heat off her and probably eases her guilt.

What a total BITCH.

You could always report her to S/S for dumping her kids on your doorstep for a week and waltzing off. I don't really mean that, but I am SO angry on your behalf!

AhNowTed · 12/10/2017 21:09

Ah the old 'reminiscing' ploy!!

TheAntiBoop · 12/10/2017 21:09

Could you text back and ask if she's ok as she seems to next eating unnecessary drama just to get out of paying her kids costs

DamsonGin · 12/10/2017 21:09

Text her back a picture of your empty purse.

DamsonGin · 12/10/2017 21:09

Text her back a picture of your empty purse.

Gemini69 · 12/10/2017 21:09

Jesus.. this is appalling.. I don't know about anyone else reading this.. but this is such calculating controlling manipulating seedy behaviour by YOUR FRIEND ?! if you disagree or challenge anything.. she calls every single relative you have and accuses you of being unstable.. to the point that people come running with additional medications and assistance... this so called FRIEND IS DANGEROUS.... you need her OUT OF YOUR LIFE FAST Lady Flowers

Gemini69 · 12/10/2017 21:11

I cannot express my shock and your friends actions.. she is DANGEROUS OP.. so bloody DANGEROUS ..... Flowers

category12 · 12/10/2017 21:11

Tbh I wouldn't start turfing people out if there's a history of MH issues that make people rush over with this friend is making out you've gone off the deep end, OP. Just stay calm, tell them what's happened and treat them as normal. Do any boundary enforcing with family/ex gradually over time. Standing up to friend and NDN is enough for one evening.

LaContessaDiPlump · 12/10/2017 21:13

Well I'm glad your ex and nan have been surprisingly supportive!

Your 'friend' though..... Biscuit

TheMightyMing · 12/10/2017 21:15

Pjs😂😂 is that why he's your ex?

You are 110% right in all this, keep strong and do not under any circs back down. I'm disgusted at your 'so called' friends. Alluding to your 'mental health' , well they weren't concerned when they were dumping three kids on you for a week. Jesus wept!!! 😡

Clueless1315 · 12/10/2017 21:15

I just texted her a photo of my empty purse, as a lovely mumsnetter suggested 😂 and she's said:

You're determined to ruin our friendship. When ex cheated on you, who was there for you? It's times like this when you know your real friends. Money grabbing is an awful look, it really is. I'm still hoping this isn't you but the side effect or withdrawal from necessary medication.

OP posts:
LaContessaDiPlump · 12/10/2017 21:16

"You paid me 20 QUID to mind your kids for 1 WEEK and I'M the one determined to ruin our friendship?! That is hilarious Grin"

HolyShet · 12/10/2017 21:17

Your nan and ex are making me smile

text back and ask if she's ok as she seems to next eating unnecessary drama just to get out of paying her kids costs

also this

Bumblebzz · 12/10/2017 21:17

Not paying your way is an awful look

Swipe left for the next trending thread