Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mums not allowed.... at school. WTAF???

167 replies

HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 10:12

So our headmaster doesn't want mums to hang around in the playground in the morning or anywhere in school grounds. We are specifically told to wave to our kids goodbye at the gates and off they go!!! He wants a parents free school especially in the morning!!
I'm kind of ok with this but if I need to go in for some reason I m getting this dodgy look from him. So this morning I really had to speak to the secretary after I dropped my 5yo and there he was the bloody annoying headmaster giving me the shittiest look ever!
I'm bloody paying 6K a term for that school and I think I am allowed to go in once a fortnight if I need to!!!
AIBU?

OP posts:
ShatnersWig · 12/10/2017 12:10

Jacques In such situations, I can grasp that. But other than for medical reasons?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/10/2017 12:11

Just seen your post on another thread.

If you think bunch of idiots teaching our children! as you have said elsewhere then do it yourself.

ilovesooty · 12/10/2017 12:12

Of course I know that private schools have longer holidays but they aren't on holiday all the time
Surely you knew the holiday duration when you enrolled your son?

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 12/10/2017 12:13

Sounds like the staff are pissed off that you're going in regularly to check up on them - I wouldn't like it in my job. Surely a regular phone call would be better, especially as school offices are generally busy first thing?

It doesn't sound like the school is a good fit for you or your son, particularly if he's bottom of the class - can you look at other options? Having 9 other kids outperforming him all the time can't be healthy for his self-esteem. Obviously a hot-house environment isn't suited to him, he might blossom once the pressure is off.

Original poster
HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 12:14

ShatnersWig RTFT! Confused

gilly well done to you for being a such a good mum! Yes me working means I have to come home, do looooaaaads of homework, dinner, care for my other kids and then go to bed knackered! So trusting school and MN's suggestions here and not much time for research! But I'm glad you did your homework!

OP posts:
Original poster
HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 12:16

Of course I know that private schools have longer holidays but they aren't on holiday all the time. Surely you knew the holiday duration when you enrolled your son?
Yes I knew it, what's the issue with that?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 12/10/2017 12:19

I think this is quite a good idea. If every parent with a child in the school wanted to go in once a fortnight there'd be a huge queue every day. Good for the headmaster. Stop being a fusspot.

ShatnersWig · 12/10/2017 12:21

I did RTFT thanks. "Certain nutritional requirements". If they cocked up so badly, as you say, why the fuck would you even send the child back there? The fact that you chose "HeadmasterIsShit" for your username followed by another thread in which you say "bunch of idiots teaching our children" I'd have to suggest that the bigger idiot is you for paying all that money for supposed sub-standard teaching and the fact you need to go there fortnightly (although earlier you said it was rarely and fortnightly is anything but rarely) because you can't trust any of them.

gillybeanz · 12/10/2017 12:27

You do your homework because it's your responsibility, it's not your ds fault you have other kids and work. Your kids should be your priority and not an afterthought after work.
You stay up late occasionally or you get up earlier it doesn't take long, but is important. Especially if you are paying £20k a year when all said and done.
If you don't like the truth don't ask. I also work and have to fit everything in.

PigletwasPoohsFriend · 12/10/2017 12:32

Yes I knew it, what's the issue with that?

Errrrrrr you're the one moaning about It!

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 12:33

Not odd to me either. But DSs school is one form entry. There's literally not the room for 180 parents to be milling around in the morning.

We have a very strict good HT who's very food at ushering you all back out in the morning Grin

Can still approach staff when needed to. Maybe the HT has had a few choice parents trying to flout the rule and he just assumed you were another one?

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 12:34

*good not food.

lozzylizzy · 12/10/2017 12:35

I go into the office every Friday to pay breakfast club and nursery lunches! I post the money in the little post box in the office reception weekly!

Ttbb · 12/10/2017 12:37

You need to work on your 'I'm paying your salary, what are you doing looking at me like that?' Glare.

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 12:40

TBH this school does not sound good!

Maybe it has a great reputation, but the fact is the school appears to be failing your son.

Agree. There's a school in our area that has a great reputation. I've witnessed some appalling behaviour and wouldn't send my worst enemy there.

JustDanceAddict · 12/10/2017 12:47

Encouraging private tuition age 6 after paying 18K a year. Get your kid into a nice community primary ASAP!!

Bluntness100 · 12/10/2017 12:47

Op, I’ve never heard of NT child who needs daily private tutoring on top of his privately funded school day. You clearly aren’t happy with thr school, constantly mention the cost, dislike the head master, don’t like the teaching methods, are pissed off about the hols, don’t trust the staff and need to do repeated visits to thr office.

So move him. My daughter was privately educated from 4-18 and I’ve never witnessed anything Like you are saying. So move the kid. You seem to have him in some form of inefficient hot house hell hole for five year olds.

tiggytape · 12/10/2017 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandyDenny · 12/10/2017 12:55

I have to agree with the view of many that the school sounds useless, how can a 5 year old in a class of 10 need extra tuition as well? That's ridiculous.

I'd be can cancelling the extra tuition and looking at alternative schools

IODmum · 12/10/2017 12:56

Sounds very pushy on the academic side of things for a 5 year old. You'd think 6k a term and a class size of 10 would mean the school could support any learning gaps they felt needed extra help.

About the way the Head looked at you, just don't worry about it. If you have a reason you need to speak to the office staff then just go ahead. Maybe he didn't realise you were going to the office but were about to loiter. If he is really bothered, he should speak to you. But, until he does, as it sounds like you are happy with the rule, do what he asks and just carry on popping into the office when you need to.

maddiemookins16mum · 12/10/2017 13:03

How much per term is it again?
YABU, there's a reason the rule has been introduced, you (and others with the same private school entitled parents) are probably one of the reasons.

jennawade · 12/10/2017 13:08

you sound unhappy with the school on lots of levels.

probably best to pull him out and go somewhere else if the school's culture/demands on your son are so at odds with your expectations.

KimmySchmidt1 · 12/10/2017 13:09

You are probably being unreasonable paying £6k a term for primary school - if you dont like the rules you can leave, right?

BreakfastAtStephanies · 12/10/2017 13:14

I thought that this was the norm and it is a safeguarding issue. My children's primary school banned parents from the playground because there was a risk of children coming into contact with/speaking to adult strangers.

If you needed to go to the office there was a separate entrance for that around the other side of the school which did not go across the playground at all.

HeartburnCentral · 12/10/2017 13:15

What annoys me is that he knows it as I'm one of the very few working
How do you know this? How would they afford the fees and private tuition if very few of the parents are working?
Our school allowed reception children be escorted for the first two weeks to show them where to put their belongings, after which time they are dropped/waved off at the gate. Communication between teacher/parents is through a homework diary (messages) and if you need a very brief chat teachers are in the yard at pick up time. Children get homework most nights and reading/writing are also practiced every night at home with parents.
The Headmaster is in charge. The reason he is staring at you is because you are blatantly ignoring the new school policy and downplaying his position of authority. Be honest, you don't really need to go in to the School every two weeks, you could communicate in several different ways but you choose to be awkward and challenge his authority. Just because you pay fees doesn't make you his or any of the staff's boss. Advising them how to run the school or what procedures they should use will only get their backs up.