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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mums not allowed.... at school. WTAF???

167 replies

HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 10:12

So our headmaster doesn't want mums to hang around in the playground in the morning or anywhere in school grounds. We are specifically told to wave to our kids goodbye at the gates and off they go!!! He wants a parents free school especially in the morning!!
I'm kind of ok with this but if I need to go in for some reason I m getting this dodgy look from him. So this morning I really had to speak to the secretary after I dropped my 5yo and there he was the bloody annoying headmaster giving me the shittiest look ever!
I'm bloody paying 6K a term for that school and I think I am allowed to go in once a fortnight if I need to!!!
AIBU?

OP posts:
theaveragewife · 12/10/2017 10:43

Of course mums (or dads) shouldn't be allowed into school in the morning, it creates havoc for the teachers and the children don't settle as well. We walk our (reception) children in to the classroom in the morning, and I feel so sorry for the teacher who has to deal with 15 parents expecting a welcome and asking to chat, then relationships with the teacher become uneven because of those who speak every morning rather than try not to be a pain and leave quickly and quietly.

If you need to contact school then telephone or email!

G1raffe · 12/10/2017 10:44

Olympia - actually go into the classroom?! That must be chaos? The schools here don't do that as they line up to go in and the TA helps with anything needed, teacher in the door welcoming them.

fatowl · 12/10/2017 10:48

I'm a parent governor at a private school which used to operate a very open (and to be honest quite lax) door policy. There were parents, nannies, aupairs everywhere. We had an element of very pushy and over bearing parents who were borderline bullying the staff and wanting a piece of them 'as they were paying the fees so they could do as they liked"

A new principal came in last year and it was tightened for Safeguarding reasons. There is now an "open area", where parents can be between 8-9am - accounts office, uniform shop and office, no access to the classrooms.
It didn't go down well with a certain group of parents, but it is far better for the staff and the students.
Parents can email a teacher, write in the diary or make an appointment.

Ploppie4 · 12/10/2017 10:50

Ask him directly ‘is there a problem? You’re looking a bit strange’

StarUtopia · 12/10/2017 10:54

People pay £6k a term for their primary school aged children? And still need a tutor? Misses point of thread entirely -moremoneythansense-

haba · 12/10/2017 10:54

10 a class? Too small for decent social interaction, unless it's a special school, imo.

Oliversmumsarmy · 12/10/2017 10:55

We had this with one of ds's school.

We weren't allowed to go into the schoo at all.

I had to speak to Ds's teacher about his dyslexia. But wasn't allowed to I had to speak to her in the 10 minutes I was allocated on the parent teacher evening which was months away.

It just became a complete mess as he was getting told off for not being able to read and write. In the end I took him out of school completely.

Bluntness100 · 12/10/2017 10:55

Your posts are a bit mixed message, on one hand you say you go in every two weeks, then you say it’s rare you go in then you say you go in every two weeks for three mins.

If it takes three mins you don’t need to go in.

Sorry I’m going to guess the reason he’s giving you that look is becayse the staff think you’re a PITA.

The extra tuition is weird though, I will give you that.

sirfredfredgeorge · 12/10/2017 10:57

i wouldn't want to confront him, not the type but that's why I wanted to understand if his is normal!

No it is really not normal for someone paying 500 quid a week for a service to be so scared of the provider of the service to not be able to question them about it.

With that level of anxiety, can you outsource the confrontation to someone else?

On the general point of parents hanging around the school, that is probably reasonable, but the looks and the rest of it if you do need to speak to someone is quite different.

Kezza8 · 12/10/2017 10:57

£6k a term and additional lessons for a 5yo!! That is absolutely shocking!

Narnia72 · 12/10/2017 10:58

I think that's rubbish. I totally get wanting to get the chatting parents (I am a bit guilty of this tbh) out of the playground in the morning, but our office staff expect parents to drop in after drop off for any admin. It's a totally separate zone from the classrooms for most schools, surely?

If they don't want parents in the school, where and how does parent school communication happen? By email? By appointment? He can't get rid of it completely!

My kids go to a state school, but my friend's kids go privately and I'm really impressed by their communication. Email direct to the teacher, and the ability to make an appointment within 24 hours to speak directly to the teacher. The teachers email any issues they think the parents should know about and generally are a lot more forthcoming about what goes on in school. There are 10 in the class, a teacher and 2 TA's though.

dementedpixie · 12/10/2017 10:59

We're not allowed in the playground either but can go to the office if we want to find out anything or arrange a meeting with the teacher/head teacher.

fatowl · 12/10/2017 11:00

£6k a term and additional lessons for a 5yo!! That is absolutely shocking!

This
The lack of open door policy isn't the issue here.

Original poster
HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 11:00

Bluntness100

Sorry I’m going to guess the reason he’s giving you that look is becayse the staff think you’re a PITA

Sorry I'm going to guess you're talking out of your rear!
Going up there for 3 mins in a private school that has so few kids and is on holiday all the time is not that frequent is it?

OP posts:
Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 12/10/2017 11:01

Dear God - £6k a term for a 5 year old and they need 'almost daily' external tuition due to underperformance?

I think you need to examine your priorities and think about your child's childhood.

dementedpixie · 12/10/2017 11:02

Why on earth do you need to go to the school every 2 weeks?

dementedpixie · 12/10/2017 11:03

It is frequent and probably unnecessary

zzzzz · 12/10/2017 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 11:03

No it's not special school just too expensive I guess and lots of competition in the area

They are great with comms and in other areas just the pressure on the kids plus this particular thing are OTT I think

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 12/10/2017 11:03

Can you not write a note/email or phone them instead

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 12/10/2017 11:04

Why are you paying 6k for a school that apparently is failing to teach your child, is constantly on holiday and requires you to go in every 2 weeks for whatever reason???

WitchesHatRim · 12/10/2017 11:04

Sorry I'm going to guess you're talking out of your rear!
Going up there for 3 mins in a private school that has so few kids and is on holiday all the time is not that frequent is it?

Going in every fortnight is very frequent. The number of children and the fact it is private, is irrelevant in this.

Original poster
HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 11:06

A poster mentioned me asking him directly if there is a problem... i might do that actually as certain posts here make me even more wound up (rightly so!!) . This staring thing will have to stop or I'm gonna end up going up there daily on purpose!

OP posts:
Original poster
HeadmasterIsShit · 12/10/2017 11:10

DS has certain nutrition restrictions due to allergies etc so my maximum twice a month visits are to ensure they doing things properly as they fucked up before and he ended up in hospital! Can't say more details as don't want to out myself but yes they fucked up big time so yup they will have to tolerate me for a massive collective 6mins every 4 weeks!

OP posts:
FormerlyFrikadela01 · 12/10/2017 11:17

DS has certain nutrition restrictions due to allergies etc so my maximum twice a month visits are to ensure they doing things properly as they fucked up before and he ended up in hospital! Can't say more details as don't want to out myself but yes they fucked up big time so yup they will have to tolerate me for a massive collective 6mins every 4 weeks!

And you still pay 6k a year for thisHmm

My niece has a huge list of allergies and her free state school have yet to land her in hospital in 4 years. Her mum doesn't have to visit the office every 2 week either.

I agree with pp, more money than sense.