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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH wanting to go hiking on family weekend away.

342 replies

PooFlower · 11/10/2017 13:41

We are off to the Lake district for a Fri to Mon weekend away with our two dc.
DH has announced he plans to go for a short hike (2 hours) on the Sat and a long walk (5-6 hours) on the Sunday. He says he will get up at first light and go so he is back in time to do other things.
Am I being unreasonable to ask him not to?
I dont mind him going for a short walk each morning however a long walk will ruin the weekend for me. He will go to bed early the night before, probably wake dd2 up if he gets up early and be shattered and fit for nothing when he gets back.
I feel mean though. He loves hiking but hardly gets to go these days. I wouldn't mind so much if we were away for a week but think it will impact the holiday too much as with it only being a short break.

OP posts:
oldlaundbooth · 12/10/2017 01:00

Op:

As an aside, you must get yourself to Cartmel for the sticky toffee pudding.

As you were.

brownfang · 12/10/2017 02:07

It's only 2 days, he can keep to 2 x shorter walks. In this scenario I would be the mad keen hiker longing to get up hill. I agree with this from PP:

"It's a pretty bad idea to encourage OP, who admits to being an inexperienced walker, to take a 5yo and a sulky teenager up anywhere high in the middle of winter."

It's supposed to be a hol for the kids too, no joy in taking reluctant teens anywhere & 6 hours at a 5 yr old's pace is a horrid prospect.

manicinsomniac · 12/10/2017 02:12

Don't understand why people are knocking the OP's preferred way of spending the weekend at all.

I grew up in the Lake District. My mum still lives there. In December, with children, hot chocolate in a cosy café is an ideal activity, especially following a walk in the freezing cold (and probably rain).

The last time I was there I went up Scafell Pike with my sister in April We got around half way up before the breezy and drizzly but essentially fine weather turned into a full scale gale and blizzard. Struggled on for a bit but I'm very small and not especially strong and was literally being blown over. We sheltered in a ditch until it eased slightly, walked back down and had a wonderful hot chocolate in a lovely café before going back to our mum's and watching a DVD. Perfect! Grin

OP - I wouldn't bother with Kendal during the day. Maybe I'm biased because that's where I'm from but it is pretty boring. Nice walk by the river with ducks to feed that your youngest would like. Couple of small museums and (I think) the widest church in England. Shops aren't worth the effort really.

Couple of other ideas (sorry if they've been said):
Ambleside - house on the bridge (touristy but quite fun)
Grassmere - gingerbread shops and a walk around the lake
Kendal - in the evening. Brewery Arts Centre. Nice bar and, if there's anything one, theatre or live music. Sure there'll be something for New Year but it may well not be child friendly.
Rydal Water - walk from White Moss car park was my favourite as a child.

SweetCrustPastry · 12/10/2017 03:05

Haven't read the whole thread but you could go canoeing as a family. He'll get his fix of outdoors and you get to spend time together as a family without it being too strenuous. We've done this before at Christmas with a company called Adventure Makers. It was a brilliant way to get out on the lake and the views were fabulous. We stopped on an island and made hot chocolate on a stove (highly recommended).

itshappening · 12/10/2017 03:50

I agree with a pp not to give up on getting the 13 year old to enjoy the walks. At that age I think it is normal to be a bit Confused and unwilling about activities but actually end up enjoying them if you are 'made' to go. If you always just do what seems easy and quick reward you can miss out so encourage her to try something else.

I personally loved long family walks as a child but after becoming ill in my twenties can't do them. I still go to areas like the Lakes, the first few times I went to areas like that after becoming unwell I felt really down about not being able to explore properly, but I made myself keep visiting because it is better to enjoy what you can from scenic drives, short ambles to viewpoint etc than nothing.

NoMapOfMyHead · 12/10/2017 04:39

Of course it's not a "rule", but if people are only interested in shopping, drinking hot chocolate, pubs and DVDs then what the fuck is the point of going to an area of outstanding natural beauty that's a mecca for hikers?!

Shopping is what most visitors do in the Lake District.
Very few in comparison actually go for a walk in the hills.
Some might pootle along the lake coast (usually windermere).
And some will take a drive about.
But you only have to drive through Ambleside/Bowness/Keswick to see that that's were most of the tourists are

NoMapOfMyHead · 12/10/2017 05:12

expat the ridge line would have been Swirl How & Wetherlam.

Is your dh an experienced winter hill walker op?.... Winter in the hills is a whole different ball game. There's likely to be a dusting of snow on the tops at that time.

Some walks for the kids which include pubs- elterwater, rydal water, torver/coniston, latterbarrow.

Pengggwn · 12/10/2017 05:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elfinpre · 12/10/2017 06:25

I am really wobbly on mountains so DH only gets to do the easiest routes with me and DDs. I even had a bit of a panic attack on Pen-y-fan in the summer- I have a fear of getting stuck at the top of mountains and not being able to get down again. I did it though, and enjoyed it (eventually).

What I'm saying is, as a couple/family we make compromises. I have a go at hiking because DH likes it, but we don't do any difficult (for me) routes that I wouldn't be able to cope with. If he wants a more full-on challenge, he can go away with friends.

keepcalmandfuckon · 12/10/2017 06:26

God I wish people would rtft 😂😂

Why is everyone so fixated on OP mentioning drinking a hot chocolate?! She didn’t say she wanted to spend 6 hours drinking hot chocolate.....Confused

elfinpre · 12/10/2017 06:37

And I went to the Lake District on holiday with parents as a kid and teenager dozens of times without doing very much walking at all. I had no idea it was a "mecca for hill walkers" until I was in my 20s and after meeting DH.

In fact I went to YMCA Lakeside on a school residential when I was 15 and absolutely hated it. Spent 4 days being cold, wet, falling off things and feeling horribly embarrassed and hopeless. Used to hate anything outdoorsy. Shopping and hot chocolate would have been much more my thing.

XiCi · 12/10/2017 06:54

Well who knew that hiking enthusiasts were such rigid thinking fascists. I must remember never to enjoy the lake district again unless Im prepared to trudge off into the cold and wet over a fell for 6 hours in the bleak midwinter. I'm surprised I've been let in to the lakes all these years!

And will people for christs sake read the fucking thread before bleating on that you can drink hot chocolate at home. The OP has repeatedly explained that comment

OP yes your DH is being unreasonable
wanting to disappearar for a day and a half of a 2 day family holiday. Your compromises sound more than reasonable

makeourfuture · 12/10/2017 07:02

If you do decide to take the children hiking, get appropriate footwear. Wellington boots are not very good for hiking.

pp2017 · 12/10/2017 07:26

This thread is making me lol - I bet the OP is starting to wish she hadn’t asked 😳😆

I also forgot about the puzzling place in Keswick, it’s not big and special enough to warrant a trip there specifically to go to it, but if you happened to find yourself in Keswick with an hour or so to spare it is great fun, I think even a moody teenager would get into it 😊

SentimentalLentil · 12/10/2017 08:45

The op has said many many times that she (and the 13 year old) is happy to go on shorter walks.

HandbagKrabby · 12/10/2017 08:54

I went on holiday to the Lake District as a child and I remember Beatrix Potter's house, an ice cream covered in chocolate, a field full of rabbits, the smallest house in England, shopping and going to the cinema. And that was in the 80s where there would have been less to do! I'm sure we went to scenic places but as a child this wasn't what I'd be massively interested in so it hasn't stuck. However, I can see from the above there's plenty to do without scaling some frozen hills. Op hope you have a fab family holiday!

Laura2018 · 12/10/2017 08:58

I think you are being a bit lazy! Go on the hike, take the kids with plenty of water and food and enjoy it. It's good exercise and teaches the children about a healthy lifestyle. My parents took my hiking from the age of 4 x

SentimentalLentil · 12/10/2017 09:14

It's lazy not to take a 5 year old on a 6 hour hike in the Lake District in the middle of december Confused

Theresamayscough · 12/10/2017 09:19

I think this thread has made me laugh more than most in a long time.

Personally op I would push him off his bloody beloved hills.

My family were hikers and I bloody hated it. Hate the cold/wet/awful boots it’s fucking sole destroyingly boring.

A nice walk, cafe, hot chocolate pub meal and a cozy cuddle with my dh and dcs and a family film. Now that’s fun family time.

He sounds a selfish arse op and reading some posts extolling the virtues of tramping 6 hours a day in the bloody winter makes me remember how much I hate hiking and hikers

Theresamayscough · 12/10/2017 09:21

Laura so did mine and I hated it then and now. It’s not lazy to hate one form of exercise!! I love a game of football and cricket, netball and swimming.

It’s not a crime to find long walks boring

CamperVamp · 12/10/2017 09:22

I suspect that a lot of responses are projection rather than rigid fascism.

Of a the things that I compromised for motherhood, fellwalking was most keenly missed.

Yes, we enjoyed our afternoons catching minnows at the water's edge, but in the end looking at the fantastic summits, and walking round their foot slopes cannot compare with the sheer exhilaration of being on top.

For me fellwalking requires a several-day trip, and a walk to a big summit is an all day affair.

It is reasonable for a family holiday to be exactly that, but the response on this thread represents a crie de couer on behalf of the DH by many women who would see those fells and yearn to be up them.

In the end, OP, your problem may we'll be solved naturally, by driving rain and mist Wink

SentimentalLentil · 12/10/2017 09:24

I happen to love hiking but this thread is making me want to through out my hiking boots, in fact it's making me want to give up walking altogether and crawl on my belly everywhere like a slug between my hot chocolate stops.

deepestdarkestperu · 12/10/2017 09:27

I do wonder what the responses would be if OP was the one who wanted to go hillwalking for some time alone, and it was her DH whodidn’t want to look after the kids and wanted her to tame her activities so the kids could come along too.

SentimentalLentil · 12/10/2017 09:31

The response would be, 'well i think it's unreasonable on a three day family holiday for you to leave your other half to look after the kids for two of those days, could you possibly only do one day?'

SentimentalLentil · 12/10/2017 09:34

No one is saying he's never allowed to go on a hike!
In fact OP seems very accommodating to his hiking, usually allowing him to hike rather than help pack when they go on holiday.

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