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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's inappropriate to sell these in a shop aimed at pre-teens?

212 replies

TheActualMarilynManson · 10/10/2017 20:22

NC as I've told people I'm posting this but I'm a long time regular, 'cancel the cheque', yoni, korean lady, etc.

So, I'm in Claire's Accessories today and see these..... (hopefully the photo will upload correctly.)

For starters, anyone who knows what these items are intended to be used for will not buy one from Claire's Accessories.
Secondly, I don't know a person over 13 who buys anything from this shop, they are unlikely to understand, so why sell it?
Third, children will buy this stuff, have their photo taken, then in a few years will come to realise what their parents allowed them to wear in the name of 'being trendy'.

That's just the obvious points. I also have a massive issue with BDSM being made 'mainstream' because of the negativity which always comes with it in the media.

'50 Shades' did a HUGE amount of damage to the BDSM scene. Their relationship was not D/S, it was emotional abuse, with some sex thrown in.
True D/S relationships are built on trust, respect, years of commitment, and learning.

As someone heavily involved in the BDSM scene, I find it hugely offensive that a way of life, and a whole community of likeminded people, can be essentially mocked by what is deemed 'fashion'.

So, AIBU to think this is inappropriate 'jewellery' for a childrens accessory shop?

To think it's inappropriate to sell these in a shop aimed at pre-teens?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
MsHooliesCardigan · 12/10/2017 05:57

Not sure how keen DH would be though.

MsHooliesCardigan · 12/10/2017 06:04

www.bondara.co.uk/cb-6000-chrome-chastity-cage-kit

Got DH's birthday present sorted

Thegiantofillinois · 12/10/2017 07:14

Cookers are definitely not a good look. And a bit awkward to pull off.

LaContessaDiPlump · 12/10/2017 07:28

No comment except Confused I will never look at chokers the same way again....

RedBullBlood · 12/10/2017 07:34

Wearing an aga round your neck is for yer more middle class bdsm-er. Possibly.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 12/10/2017 08:49

Well personally, I think cookers can look quite good.

To think it's inappropriate to sell these in a shop aimed at pre-teens?
Uokbing · 12/10/2017 09:09

I don't get why the BDSM 'community' are so superior to everyone else, with their 'way of life'; it's just a way of having sex isn't it?

Like, I am not part of the 'quick Tuesday night missionary shag because we are both knackered but haven't done it in a while' community. Does such a community exist?

Nothingrhymeswithfamily · 12/10/2017 09:12

I used to wear and make chokers in the 90's when I was 9-14ish.
Honestly, I think your over thinking it.

Nothingrhymeswithfamily · 12/10/2017 09:19

uok
I used to work with a man who had Wednesday sex like that. He used to dread going home.
He was hilarious about it as he was so posh

gingergenius · 12/10/2017 09:26

Grinat woofy wankers!!!

Mustang27 · 12/10/2017 11:09

They are just chokers. I fully understand the BDSM link but come on that would be like not buying a lead for your dog because some people use it for sexual pleasure or your dd underwear because there are plenty of ppl that have fetishes for wee white cotton pants.

I loved my collar/chokers in my teen I’m wondering if I could still rock the look in my 30s whilst heavily preggers Grin

LadyWire · 12/10/2017 11:14

If this is appropriated from the BDSM "community" then it's been diluted a hell of a lot in the last 40 years since Vivienne Westwood introduced bondage trousers and padlocks on dog collars. I don't think anyone would look at those, or this choker that in no way looks like any sort of gag anyway, and think Filth! unless they themselves are filthy.

And btw both 41yo me and 18yo DD shop in Claire's, not least because it's virtually the only place on the high street where you can buy body and facial jewellery.

ReanimatedSGB · 12/10/2017 17:11

Some people are into kink, some people aren't. You get smug twats, idiots, and precious little flowers on either side of the divide. (I like a bit of kinky stuff, but some of the people you have to put up with in the clubs... meh!)

*boring self-rightous pompous knobs, btw, not abusive people...

Glittertwins · 13/10/2017 13:20

And it’s hit the Fail

YoureAnArseholeDenise · 13/10/2017 13:28

😮😮😮😮😮

To think it's inappropriate to sell these in a shop aimed at pre-teens?
LittleBooInABox · 13/10/2017 13:56

Actual bdsm collars are a lot thicker that that, and designed to not be removed easily.

Is a fashion trend.x

glovesonstrings · 13/10/2017 17:13

Am I the only one who had to Google what BDSM meant?

catgirl1976 · 13/10/2017 17:40

Chokers are fine....ones intended to bw worn in your mouth so someone can throat fuck you....different matter surely?!

No way could DH fit his penis through those rings stealth boast slightly but come on. I doubt many men could. I had chokers like that back in the 90s when I was a goth. And actual dog collars. And more.

OpheIiaBaIIs · 13/10/2017 20:20
Shock
To think it's inappropriate to sell these in a shop aimed at pre-teens?
TooManyPaws · 13/10/2017 21:38

I know King Edward VII was a bit of a a bad boy but his missus wore diamond and pearl chokers; apparently Queen Alexandra made them fashionable in the first place Hmm Confused. She is said to have had a scar on her neck but you never know... Grin

Rosecoffee · 14/10/2017 09:47

Although I don't think that these mock BDSM, I find it hugely inappropriate that Clare's accessories sells them, our local shop is always full of aged 13 and under and that is generally the age that the shop caters to. If these were in a shop such as top shop I'd see less of a problem.

Although there are differences between these and the gags, it's very clear what these accessories are based on. The idea that I could give my 11 yo sister money to pick what she wanted and if she was to come out with that I'd be very very shocked, would anyone be happy with they're dd under 13 wearing one of these, seriously??? If you go in any sex shop they sell chokers and gags just like this but more sturdy as they're leather and used for sexual purposes, just because it was once a fashion doesn't make it okay.

pictish · 14/10/2017 10:00

"would anyone be happy with they're dd under 13 wearing one of these, seriously???"

Yes...they'd all be fine with it apparently. Nothing finishes off an 11 yr old's outfit better than a bit of tasteless fetish inspired jewellery like a black choker with a metal ring and what's more, you're wrapping yours up in cotton wool if you don't agree.

Or some shit like that. Fuck knows.

KrytensNanobots · 14/10/2017 10:17

I think the op is a hairy handed bedroom wanker looking to get his rocks off on stories of gags and bdsm.

Definitely thinking the same, coming across as more strange with each post!

ReanimatedSGB · 14/10/2017 11:06

Wouldn't bother me if a goth-inclined teen wore one of those. Not in the least. Part of being a teenager is wearing daft or slightly 'shocking' clothes. I'd be concerned about general safety rules - know where you're going, stick with your friends, etc, not what they wear.

LonginesPrime · 14/10/2017 12:41
  1. they used to sell these in the early 90s when Claire's was Bow Bangles;

  2. OP, the fact you think they're anything more than standard goth attire and are grossly inappropriate says more about what you're getting up to in your spare time than it does about Claire's; and

  3. this thread is hilarious!