Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking for pasta

189 replies

MummySparkle · 10/10/2017 20:16

More of as ‘is this weird?’ Question really.

I got home on Sunday after a long day out with the kids and realised that we really didn’t have anything that could make a quick dinner for them. We live rurally, the closest place that would have been open is a 40min round trip & we were all too tired and hungry for that.

DS has just started school and I’ve made some really good friends with other mums and we all live within walking distance of each other which is lovely. Anyway, a trio of us have a group chat going and I asked the other mums if either of them had any pasta going spare. One Mum did, we whizzed over to collect it and I had 2 very happy DCs eating cheesy pasta for tea.

I relayed this to DH when he asked about the unfamiliar pasta in the cupboard and he told me that what I had done was really really weird, and I shouldn’t ask people if I could borrow pasta. Personally I don’t see the issue, but maybe I’m missing something?

OP posts:
Protectingmydaughterfromfilth · 11/10/2017 10:28

Stormborn Please tell me you're joking???? As if anyone would eat pasta that contains Weevil eggs? Eugh

IJustGotHitByADeer · 11/10/2017 10:30

When I was a kid I had a friend who lived a few doors down, her mum occasionally used to pop round to borrow a tin of beans, or a couple of potatoes sometimes, otherwise my friend would have had no evening meal. Totally fine with us. Why should it be a problem if it's only an occasional thing?

alphajuliet123 · 11/10/2017 10:36

We had a tipsy neighbour knock on about 11pm one Friday night. Don't know them, they live about 20 houses away, but ours was apparently the only house with lights on in the street. Bottle of wine in hand and desperate for a corkscrew, we gave them ours and an extra bottle of vino as they were obviously in party mode.

Next morning, corkscrew and two new (nicer!) bottles on our doorstep. Well worth helping neighbours out!

Choccyhobnob · 11/10/2017 10:43

Not weird. Not something that happens to me now as we live literally opposite a co op so they are nearer than the neighbours but previously in an old house our (slightly odd/drug addict/possibly prostitute) neighbour knocked on the door carrying a tablespoon of sugar. Apparently she had come to borrow some when my dh was at home and he was on the phone/distracted so had literally given her a spoonful of sugar, I was a bit mortified at that!

PandorasXbox · 11/10/2017 10:50

I wouldn’t have asked a new friend for a bag of pasta personally so I’m with DH on this one.

Kaybush · 11/10/2017 10:53

Don't worry OP, every partner I've had over the years has at some point said that a simple, normal thing I had just done was "like really weird"!

Only the other day my DH read a text I'd sent to an old friend and said "That 3rd sentence looks really weird." I still can't understand why! 😂

Men are always worrying about the possibility of looking like a plonker, I think!

Sammyislost · 11/10/2017 10:54

That's what friends are for! I would feel happy to help someone in this way. Not weird.

gleegeek · 11/10/2017 11:07

I would be pleased you felt I was a good enough friend to ask. Not odd at all!
I regularly ask for or provide stuff to our neighbours. It's what makes our road a nice place to live. They've even cooked their turkey in our gas oven when there was a power cut on Christmas day!

Charlottelouisa · 11/10/2017 12:23

Actually amazed that your dh noticed the 'unfamiliar' packet of pasta in the cupboard!!

TattyDevine · 11/10/2017 12:27

Nothing weird about it. And you gave it back.

I've borrowed an egg from a friend (didn't return it as she didn't expect it as she regularly drinks my wine fridge to the point of drought) and a couple of recycling bags from next door neighbour (posted a couple through his door when I'd stocked up so if I ever need to borrow half a million pounds for something he'll know I"m good for it)

Have had a neighbour knock for an "onion, because I"m making a dahl" before too...

TooCoolForScool · 11/10/2017 12:32

I wouldn't do it so I'm with your husband

I can see why it's nice etc etc and sense of community but I'd have hopped in my car and driven the 15 mins to get my own food for the kids. Whether that's right or wrong who knows, but I'd never ask school mums for a bag of pasta

TathitiPete · 11/10/2017 12:39

I'd have zero problem giving you some pasta if you needed it.

BertrandRussell · 11/10/2017 12:49

"but I'd never ask school mums for a bag of pasta"

I find this fascinating. Can you say why not?

chewablemunchkin · 11/10/2017 13:00

twofalls I am glad that I am not the only person to have had to borrow an emergency loo roll! I had been on a weeks holiday, popped to the shops on the way home and forgot to but some, had to run to my neighbours (from the knees down!) and beg for one Blush

chewablemunchkin · 11/10/2017 13:01

oops, BUY some!

wowfudge · 11/10/2017 13:01

My DP would think this was not on. But then he does have some odd views about things and would rather pay for a takeaway than just borrow a bag of pasta! But then we don't live rurally and there is a 24 hour supermarket within a five minute drive.

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 13:02

I am going to derail the thread a bit again only because I feel it has the same root.

A group of kids go to the same activity up the road each week. The mums know eachother. Would it not be much easier to share the pick up and drop off? Flexibly.

Apparently not. With some it is another big deal "my kids my responsibilty how lazy of you to get out of your own chores". I, and thankfully some other people, think it is beneficial for everyone.

Why?

peppapigearworm · 11/10/2017 13:13

if it doesn't suit them, they can say so.

re school mums/pasta
I find this fascinating. Can you say why not?

I wasn't the one who said it, but personally I don't see "other school mums" as friends. I would ask friends for pasta if needed (not that I would, but I have borrowed milk from a neighbour/friend and garlic) but not school mums.

grendel · 11/10/2017 14:00

Gosh, we do this with our local friends all the time! We are not convenient for a shop so it's a real pain if you run out of something at tea time. We're always borrowing (or lending) pasta, eggs, onions, cheese, etc. I think it's really nice.

BertrandRussell · 11/10/2017 14:11

I've never met the mean spirited about doing favours/giving lifts that permeates Mumsnet in real life. Thankfully.

TooCoolForScool · 11/10/2017 14:34

Well it's not a very fascinating answer I'm afraid Grin

I don't want to borrow from neighbours or new school mates. Just don't want to. I think it's odd

I will say though that I'd have no problems with someone knocking on my door and asking however. It's just not for me

WeirdAndPissedOff · 11/10/2017 14:44

I think the "lifts" thing is because it so often seems to turn into an obligation or piss taking. I've seen several threads here where people share drop off or pick up and one Mum never takes their turn, drops kids off really early, picks them up late etc.
And it's awkward to back out if you can't do it for any reason.

I can't see anything wrong with asking to borrow pasta, though! It's one of those things I'd never have the guts to do myself, but I'd be pleased to help if someone else asked.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 11/10/2017 14:46

I borrowed some margarine once so I don't see that it is weird. I wouldn't have thought anything of it had you of asked me.
If you had knocked on some random persons house then I could see that that would be a bit odd

TheCatsMother99 · 11/10/2017 15:06

I always give stuff and borrow stuff from neighbours in need. We've given and 'borrowed', wine, chicken, cat food, sugar (how cliche) and gravy granules before. It's no big deal.

I don't see the difference between neighbours and friends.

GColdtimer · 11/10/2017 15:17

Also, OP said she put a message out to a group on whatsapp so no knocking on door involved!