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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking for pasta

189 replies

MummySparkle · 10/10/2017 20:16

More of as ‘is this weird?’ Question really.

I got home on Sunday after a long day out with the kids and realised that we really didn’t have anything that could make a quick dinner for them. We live rurally, the closest place that would have been open is a 40min round trip & we were all too tired and hungry for that.

DS has just started school and I’ve made some really good friends with other mums and we all live within walking distance of each other which is lovely. Anyway, a trio of us have a group chat going and I asked the other mums if either of them had any pasta going spare. One Mum did, we whizzed over to collect it and I had 2 very happy DCs eating cheesy pasta for tea.

I relayed this to DH when he asked about the unfamiliar pasta in the cupboard and he told me that what I had done was really really weird, and I shouldn’t ask people if I could borrow pasta. Personally I don’t see the issue, but maybe I’m missing something?

OP posts:
peppapigearworm · 11/10/2017 08:54

I don't think borrowing food is weird, but I think allowing yourself to completely run out of food when you live so rurally is. What would you have done if nobody had responded by dinner time?

This. I find it really odd that you don't have a freezer with food in it, or tins and packets in the cupboards.
I could probably survive a month on the contents of my kitchen and it would make me incredibly anxious to have no food in the house!

Welwyncitydweller · 11/10/2017 08:59

I don’t think it’s odd to borrow food items you’re missing if you’re remote or the shops have shut but I do think it’s a bit strange that you have kids but had nothing in at all that could make a quick meal Hmm

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:14

I find it very weird that people cannot imagine
a) that someone can have run out of something
b) that may not have run out of something but thought it would be an easy meal and so decided it would be easier to boreow for 12h
c) that someone could have a day out and no not think of the evening meal d) that someone never came across borrowing food

All of the above together with people freaking out when others visit their homes is a cultural trait that makes my mind boggle.

peppapigearworm · 11/10/2017 09:16

All of the above together with people freaking out when others visit their homes is a cultural trait that makes my mind boggle

Why would you add in something completely unrelated? How strange of you.

And its not running out of something, sits running out of everything.

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:16

I borrow from my neighbour and
Viceversa and we have a shop 5 min away. It's called comunity spirit, friendship, being humans.

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:17

Pasta is not everything.

Is there a rule somewhere that says I cannot link to subjects together?

peppapigearworm · 11/10/2017 09:18

If they are not linked and you are just being goady, yes there is.

And if you can't make dinner without borrowing pasta, you must have run out of pretty much everything.

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:21

What if we fancied pasta?

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:23

It doesn't have to be a starving situation to borrow something. You may feel baking cookies but run out of eggs. I would ot think it a big deal
To ask or be asked. This is my point.

I don't mean to be goady, I just find this insular attitude very tiresome and pointless.

BertrandRussell · 11/10/2017 09:23

"And if you can't make dinner without borrowing pasta, you must have run out of pretty much everything."

Well, not if the dinner you want to make is pasta.............

cupofchai · 11/10/2017 09:26

Oh I've asked for sugar and salt - milk. They're my neighbours!!

ErrolTheDragon · 11/10/2017 09:27

my ex, and several other men I've known, find it horrifying.

I wonder if some men don't like the idea of women having supportive friends?

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:32

My h didn't mind me asking my friends for help it was he who did not want to do the asking and appear needy or weak. Showing vulnerability I guess.
Asking for help and live in a community is neither of these two but it ia not an easy comcept to accept.

therealpippi · 11/10/2017 09:32

Concept, even. Sorry for typos. On phone in a rush with no predicted text.

Pigflewpast · 11/10/2017 09:33

Borrow and lend all sorts here, that's part of friendship isn't it? I've also been known to ask neighbour to open a glass jar of pasta sauce, would that be shocking too?

PondLifeinLondon · 11/10/2017 09:35

I'm more surprised about noticing 'unfamiliar pasta' in a cupboard, DH wouldn't ever ever notice something like that

Yes, that.

ErrolTheDragon · 11/10/2017 09:44

My DH might notice unfamiliar pasta if it was an own brand from tesco as we never shop in one.

RhiannonOHara · 11/10/2017 09:50

Your DH is the weirdo I'm afraid. Grin

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 11/10/2017 09:53

YANBU at all, not even a tiny bit.
Am I the only person who neither me nor DH would have even noticed the "unfamiliar pasta" in the kitchen?

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 11/10/2017 09:54

Oh cross posted (didn't rtft)
I see it's not just me

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 11/10/2017 09:57

Also, I've always quite liked it when people feel free to drop in and ask me to borrow something.

multivac · 11/10/2017 09:59

I have a whole theory about the mumconomy, and the inability of those who don't function within it (mostly, but not entirely, men - because mothers with paid employment have usually had to work within it for at least six months or so) to understand how it works, and how brilliantly effective it is. It started when a friend's husband couldn't understand why it was ok for her to ask me to watch her kids for a few hours while she Got On With Something.

strugglingthroughlife · 11/10/2017 10:12

My neighbour and I ask each other for weird things all the time, cups of oil, rice and today I asked if he could post an important letter for me as I’m dog sitting! Swings and round about and all that

kateandme · 11/10/2017 10:13

between good friends this is perfectly fine.shows how close you are if anything.i wouldn't do it to a neighbour or acquaintance but friend yes deff

GColdtimer · 11/10/2017 10:27

I had 4 children here for a sleepover a few weeks ago. DH was out and I realised at 8.30 we only had half a loo roll left so I text my neighbour to ask if she had a spare one to save me walking 5 children to the coop and back in their pjs. She was waiting at the door with2, just in case. Said she was glad I thought of her as a good enough friend to ask for such an item!

(awaits flaming from super organised types for running out of an essential item).