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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking for pasta

189 replies

MummySparkle · 10/10/2017 20:16

More of as ‘is this weird?’ Question really.

I got home on Sunday after a long day out with the kids and realised that we really didn’t have anything that could make a quick dinner for them. We live rurally, the closest place that would have been open is a 40min round trip & we were all too tired and hungry for that.

DS has just started school and I’ve made some really good friends with other mums and we all live within walking distance of each other which is lovely. Anyway, a trio of us have a group chat going and I asked the other mums if either of them had any pasta going spare. One Mum did, we whizzed over to collect it and I had 2 very happy DCs eating cheesy pasta for tea.

I relayed this to DH when he asked about the unfamiliar pasta in the cupboard and he told me that what I had done was really really weird, and I shouldn’t ask people if I could borrow pasta. Personally I don’t see the issue, but maybe I’m missing something?

OP posts:
Original poster
MummySparkle · 10/10/2017 21:19

There is a coop in town, but it’s a 15min drive away. We could have made do with what we had, we wouldn’t have starved, but the DCs would’ve turned their noses up at anything I rustled up! Plenty of stuff for long cook dinners, but nothing instant left. I was thinking fish fingers chips & beans, but didn’t have any fish fingers in either! Feezer is full, but nothing useful in there - need to do a sort out & decent shop soon.

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 10/10/2017 21:21

My neighbour leans over the fence on his pants and holds out his cereal bowl and I pour the milk on it. And vice versa when I'm disorganised.

KindergartenKop · 10/10/2017 21:21

I wear more than just pants though.

StormborninaTeacup · 10/10/2017 21:22

Slightly random tip with pasta (and rice) - put in freezer (uncooked and still in original sealed bag) for 48 hours, then return to cupboard. Weevel (sp?) eggs are destroyed, pasta completely fine for months after Smile HTH Grin

PriorityZero · 10/10/2017 21:23

Not UR at all, it's a bit of Pasta. To feed DC I wouldn't even expect you to replace it, it's what 50p or something for a bag? Hardly breaking the bank to replace

trytobebestdad · 10/10/2017 21:26

why not, i used to get sent up the neighbours to borrow eggs all the time when i was a young un

Revenant · 10/10/2017 21:27

I have never ever borrowed or had a request for food. And never heard of this either except in nescafe adverts. But I live in London with at least 4 food shops within a five minute walk so...

MiddlingMum · 10/10/2017 21:28

One of our neighbours came over not so long ago to borrow a reel of sellotape. I did two loads of washing in their machine when ours was waiting to be mended.

It's the little things which build a community. But, like others OP, I'm slightly amazed that your DH noticed the pasta Shock

redcaryellowcar · 10/10/2017 21:29

Yanbu, lovely to have friends nearby who will help you out and I’m sure you would gladly repay the favour. My 95 year old neighbour was delighted when I popped round to ask to borrow a couple of eggs, (dh was out for the evening and I had a cake to make) we took her a slice the next day.

Wdigin2this · 10/10/2017 21:35

That's why, if there had been three wise woman, they would have had Jesus washed, dressed and tucked up in a proper cot, given Mary a nice cuppa...and brought sensible presents. Like nappies milk and a pram!

VioletCharlotte · 10/10/2017 21:41

Not weird at allSmile

cheminotte · 10/10/2017 21:48

Not weird. But my DP would have a similar reaction. He really doesn't get favours between women and would rather be totally self sufficient. But I'm happy to do emergency babysitting (e.g. when a neighbour had to take her husband to hospital) and have asked another neighbour to take my kids to school when I've been ill.

Dafspunk · 10/10/2017 21:51

I'd feel really sad if my friends/neighbours really needed something but felt they couldn't ask me.

Weedsnseeds1 · 10/10/2017 21:52

I live rurally too. My neighbours and I have borrowed showers, logs, food, garden tools, washing powder, all kinds of things. It's fine.

bigbluedustbin · 10/10/2017 21:54

Not weird at all. I’ve asked and been asked by neighbours for cooking ingredients. Used to be really common actually!

Ttbb · 10/10/2017 21:55

I wouldn't mind. A bit weird though.

Original poster
MummySparkle · 10/10/2017 21:56

Exactly! So far, I’ve borrowed pasta, and 2 of us have walked home one of DS’s schoolmates when his baby sister was ill. Oh and scrabbled around for change for the tuck shop for each other’s DCs. It’s so lovely to have fab people so close by. And we’ve all been here 3+ years without even meeting each other!

OP posts:
Esspee · 10/10/2017 22:08

About a month ago a neighbour came to the door to ask if I had any bean shoots I could give her for a stir fry she was doing. It caused lots of hilarity in our house and said neighbour has been getting teased about singlehandedly raising the tone of the neighbourhood ever since.

speakout · 10/10/2017 22:19

I find it a bit weird that you have a day out with kids and not planned a meal for when you got back.

That would have been near the top of my agenda.

HeebieJeebies456 · 10/10/2017 22:20

my ex, and several other men I've known, find it horrifying.

Probably cos they're not the ones with the responsibility of thinking about and then cooking for anyone else....everything just 'magically' sorts itself out in their eyes Hmm

I think it's a kind of mis-placed 'pride' thing with some men - they don't want 'outsiders/strangers' to think 'he can't afford to feed his family'.
Perhaps if they actually did more default parenting they wouldn't find it so 'weird'?

What was your dh on sunday when pasta-gate was happening?
What was his solution?

StigmaStyle · 10/10/2017 22:25

Yes and I think it's also a "never show weakness" thing, like refusing to ask for directions, or ask for help in a shop. so glad he's ex

itusedtobeverydifferent · 10/10/2017 22:34

Nightgardenbaby Lots of people live rurally, lots of us don't have shops close to our homes. It's not really unusual.

SuzukiLi · 10/10/2017 22:39

Me and my neighbour keep each other alive 😂

SunnyCoco · 11/10/2017 08:23

Yeh yanbu I do this sort of thing all the time (in london, shock horror!)

But my husband would have a similar reaction and would think it weird

I think it's totally normal and makes me glad we don't all live the selfish insular lives he media insist we do live

demirose87 · 11/10/2017 08:43

Think it depends how much I knew the neighbours. I would give someone something if they asked but I don't think I would ask myself. I've never came across this tbh.