Strip clubs & Stag dos

[NotInMyBackYard1]

DH went on a stag do in the summer, one night away at a weekend, obvs he came back tired and hungover but said he'd had a good time and didn't go to bed until 630am. I asked which bars stayed open until then but was told they do in Liverpool (?) obviously I am very naive!
Have since found out they were all at a lap dancing club without the stag - he'd gone to bed at midnight. AIBU to think he's bloody disgusting and to have lost all respect for him - for lying by omission and for visiting a lap dancing club in the first place.

Some people go ballistic at the thought tgeir DH has even thought of going to a strip club. Others don't give a shit if DH goes every week. The only thing that matters is if the couple agree!
Agree

The only thing that matters is if the couple agree!

Not when every woman and girl has to live in the culture they foster, and has to exist alongside men who objectify women.

Why do you ask that unless the profession is shameful to you?

It's shameful that this is a profession at all!!

In an ideal world, men would treat women respectfully instead of a pair of tits, and this profession wouldn't exist.

It's got NOTHING to do with the women who do this for a job. It's that it is sad it's a job at all.

Which part of this conversation are you not understanding?????

FizzyGreen so I'm a twat AND a scumbag by your logic... how lovely! Well I enjoy my twatting life as a scumbag, I'll have an extra drink in the strip club next weekend and raise it to you

Seriously....

Noloveofmine Does it fry your brain to know that when I was dancing I did feel objectified or inferior?

You need to read my posts more carefully. The only comment I've made about women who work in strip clubs is along the lines of "they choose to". I expect many enjoy it. I'm quite clearly talking about other women and girls such as those at my school who have to walk past one daily.

Also no idea why you're asking me if it "fries my brain"

I'll have an extra drink in the strip club next weekend and raise it to you

Thanks for spending more money funding the degradation of all women and girls.

"Questioning a mother" no, god forbid that should ever happen, I'd entirely forgotten that motherhood brought with it the privilege to spout whatever ethically dubious shite we wanted and not have our fitness to guide the ethical development of our children called into question.

Sorry wrong poster, again! Sorry, sorry sorry

boys your age and younger arent allowed in strip clubs, so it could be argued that strip clubs have 0 impact, as boys have those attitudes before they have been to one

men like looking at naked, attractive women. visual is a mans biggest turn on. naked, attractive women make good money from this innate desire. if a woman freely chooses to be a stripper, go for it, if a man wants to pay £20 for seeing a naked woman for 5 minutes, go for it

amazingly a lot of these people can go on and have completely normal lives outside the stag do and treat the women they meet at work, socially etc completely fairly

I just told my mother that she's a bad parent for 'allowing' me to work in a strip club. She laughed.

My experience of men who are habitual consumers of what we might broadly call sexual commodities is that they don't generally treat women well at all. Which is really not surprising when you stop to think about it.

Interesting as I just this moment asked my dad what he thinks of men who go to strip clubs. "Pathetic" was his comment. I expect they wouldn't last long working for him.

boys your age and younger arent allowed in strip clubs, so it could be argued that strip clubs have 0 impact, as boys have those attitudes before they have been to one

They know they exist. They make comments to girls because of their existence. They can utilise their existence to bully girls. They add to a culture in which boys know girls exist for their sexual gratification.

Well it's definitely a bit gross but not really a big deal is it? I mean it's not really much worse than going to a football game and lying about it.

The men who on approach to strip clubs shout comments at teenage girls along the lines of them being able to work there one day would suggest they don't have much respect for women or girls either.

naked, attractive women make good money from this innate desire.

You missed 'some' off the beginning of that sentence.

You also left off the bit about 'some' women who are forced/coerced/exploited and abused into becoming part of the sex trade.

Noloveofmine- in YOUR opinion. In mine, they're not and you're being ridiculously OTT.

no one said mothers were required to stop their daughters doing this, restless. Again, you're not attacking the point which has been made, but a weaker one, which hasn't. I'm surprised your mother isn't bothered by your choices; and a bit sad. Wouldn't ever want to be in a place where I felt like that re: my own dd. I'm sure you feel you don't need my pity; and I sincerely hope you don't.

Mother just popped her head black to say that she'd rather have me dancing than graduating with a huge student loan!

Plus strippers aren't just in lapdancing clubs? They're in mainstream clubs all over the world, even have them at the army navy party... does that mean everyone who attends there is supporting the degradation of men and women? I'm seriously baffled by this thread!

Sorry, which point am I meant to be attacking?

Restless that just made me laugh out loud

Every man who goes to a lap dancing club is supporting the objectification of women and girls and contributing to a world for all women and girls where men view us as sex objects and inferior.

did she, restless? That's interesting. But unpersuasive.
I'll be sticking to my own parenting approach, in the absence of any more earth shattering insights.