Strip clubs & Stag dos

[NotInMyBackYard1]

DH went on a stag do in the summer, one night away at a weekend, obvs he came back tired and hungover but said he'd had a good time and didn't go to bed until 630am. I asked which bars stayed open until then but was told they do in Liverpool (?) obviously I am very naive!
Have since found out they were all at a lap dancing club without the stag - he'd gone to bed at midnight. AIBU to think he's bloody disgusting and to have lost all respect for him - for lying by omission and for visiting a lap dancing club in the first place.

I'm not sure how one poster (me) hoping you're not bringing your sons up to think objectifying women and girls is acceptable is "all" reaching the conclusion you're "an awful mum" or "feminist claptrap".

My husband has been to a late bar a few times that happened to have a topless woman on the stage.

Your husband has contributed to a culture which objectifies all women and girls. Your husband perpetuates a society in which women and girls are seen as sex objects and inferior by men and boys. Please don't give your sons the impression this is acceptable, we suffer enough misogyny from boys as it is.

How many women end up in "late bars" casually on a night out where they can sip a drink while a naked young man dances on stage for their amusement?

Thinking men shouldn't have the right to ogle women or it shouldn't be normalised for men to go into clubs where they can happily sip drinks whilst watching naked women dance (showing they have this view of all women and our place in society) is "feminist claptrap", oh dear.

Makes sense that you only have sons.

wtf?

NotInMyBackYard1
Then hopefully you can work through it

SquareSophia yet people wonder why Ive said that this thread is hostile
Don't let them get to you.
Think it says more about them.
Scumbags go to these places, and twats say they are 'cool' with it.
Or possibly some people are just ok with it?
Not everybody has to have your view.
You're not right.
Some people just shout louder.

Except kali110 she is claiming things were said which weren't said.

Makes sense that you only have sons.

Obviously meaning she cannot know how she would feel if it was her daughter being perved over by leering saddo's who view her as nothing but wank fodder, there for their sexual pleasure and nothing more.

But it was cleared up, as the poster said she would be more than happy if she had a daughter, for her to work in this type of environment.

Sophia, if I recall correctly, started out on thus thread laughing at women who are deceived by their partners who visit strip clubs.
She is now complaining about imputations on her parenting because, apparently, that's really nasty.
Not the brightest.

yet people wonder why Ive said that this thread is hostile hmm

You find this thread hostile? On much of social media women and girls are met with degrading comments, abuse, rape jokes and threats and more just for airing feminist opinions.

Oh and "hostile" is more girls from my school having to walk past an open strip club with men who view all women as sex objects going in and out when we've had to be at school late.

NoLoveofMine
Really? I think people have attacked her.
does it fry your brain
Asking about her parenting.
Obviously if she'd had the main view this wouldn't have happened...

Millhouses I’m not projecting. But you are the one continually asking whether I’d let my daughters work as strippers. Why do you ask that unless the profession is shameful to you?

And no love stop being so fucking judgey. You know nothing of me or my husband.

You find this thread hostile? On much of social media women and girls are met with degrading comments, abuse, rape jokes and threats and more just for airing feminist opinions.
So because this happens its ok to attack another because she disagrees?
Ok then.

Oh and by the way anyone who thinks it's ok for their daughter to work in a strip club is a bad parent. Quite happy to make that judgement and happy to stand by it.

Quite Karlos, she made a joke about men with "feminist wives" who she claimed were probably watching pornography and mocked the idea any men would think this was degrading to women. Quite a low opinion of men as well, thinking they all see women as sex objects, interestingly.

So because this happens its ok to attack another because she disagrees?

I haven't attacked anyone. Saying I hope someone isn't bringing their sons up to think objectifying women and girls is acceptable isn't an "attack".

And no love stop being so fucking judgey. You know nothing of me or my husband.

I know your husband visits strip clubs. I don't need to know much else, although you've said plenty more.

Kali you need to read the thread properly.

Sofia asked ME if it fried my brain that women aren't arsed about strip clubs.

I then RESPONDED to ask if it fried her brain that I don't like the objectification of women.

Karlos who the fuck have I laughed at???

questioning a mother about how she is bringing up her children is an attack any way you look at it

And here we go again a bunch of women purporting to be standing up for the rights of women stating that they should be dealt with with respect, disrespecting the different views of other women and calling them all manner of things when they exercise their independent thoughts, and not the merest hint of irony. Some people go ballistic at the thought tgeir DH has even thought of going to a strip club. Others don't give a shit if DH goes every week. The only thing that matters is if the couple agree!

Given how many boys my age and even younger objectify, harass and use violent sexualised language about women and girls I think it's a valid concern. I'm extremely keen for my parents to ensure my brothers are brought up not to objectify women and girls, and try to help in this regard as well.

questioning a mother about how she is bringing up her children is an attack any way you look at it

Telling a woman whose husband visits strip clubs and has sons that I very much hope her sons aren't brought up to think objectifying women and girls is acceptable, in a culture which objectifies and degrades women and girls from a young age (in part with the assistance of strip clubs) is pretty valid in my opinion. As I said, I'm concerned about it with my own brothers.

Noloveofmine Does it fry your brain to know that when I was dancing I did feel objectified or inferior?