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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women have had a miscarriage at some point?

275 replies

brasty · 08/10/2017 00:18

I get the impression from talking to friends, that most women have had a miscarriage at some point, although most are very early on. Is my impression correct do you think?

OP posts:
HappyLollipop · 08/10/2017 00:21

I think your correct, I also think a lot of women probably don't notice they're having a miscarriage and think their period was just late.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 08/10/2017 00:23

Sadly yes, you're probably right.

Original poster
brasty · 08/10/2017 00:23

I think before early pregnancy testing, early miscarriages often went unnoticed. I think they are now more likely to be known about.

OP posts:
Nonibaloni · 08/10/2017 00:25

I had a biology teacher who said that 9/10 times a sperm reaches an egg there is a natural failure. I have no idea if that's true because then she teared up and said "remember it's more likely you'll miscarry than give birth". Little 13 y/o me will never forget that lesson.

Alanna1 · 08/10/2017 00:26

Well, in my girlfriends, I wouldn't say "most". I'd say less than 1 in 10. I've never had one. 10% is still a high number of course, and a few women have had lots, which is really, really sad and a path I wish I could help change. Not everyone will necessarily say, but I feel like I have an honest and supportive group of friends.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 08/10/2017 00:28

Among the women I know, it's a very high percentage. Most of them, really.

Hiphopopotamus · 08/10/2017 00:29

It does make you wonder if early pregnancy testing is actually a good thing. People start attributing a whole human being to something that is so fragile and unlikely to survive, and then suffer trauma when it doesn't. In days gone by, it would not have been noticed - would have just been a late period

Original poster
brasty · 08/10/2017 00:29

I should have googled this, sorry. The NHS say

in women under 30, 1 in 10 pregnancies will end in miscarriage
in women aged 35-39, up to 2 in 10 pregnancies will end in miscarriage
in women over 45, more than half of all pregnancies will end in miscarriage

I am in my mid 50s, so my friends are older. Hence more will have had miscarriages.

OP posts:
Original poster
brasty · 08/10/2017 00:30

But I do wonder if the NHS figure takes into account very early miscarriages - so those that take place a week or two in. Surely many women who have these would not go to the GP?

OP posts:
SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 08/10/2017 00:33

Well, given that only 1 of my 3 will be on NHS record, I'd say that figure is way off.

Original poster
brasty · 08/10/2017 00:35

Maybe young women need to know that early miscarriage is so common. I certainly didn't know when I was young.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 08/10/2017 00:35

Yes, I had two.
But if I hadn't have been trying to get pregnant I'd have never known. Positive pregnancy test at four weeks and period at five.

GrockleBocs · 08/10/2017 00:38

I suspect the 1 in 3 is experience based rather than NHS based. It's unlikely to be solely UK reported figures.
Among women I know and am close enough to discuss it with, most have had 1 miscarriage in amongst 2 or 3 dc.

followTheyellowbrickRoad · 08/10/2017 00:45

I've never had 1 that I'm aware of.tbh I've never really tracked my cycle to the day and I've only tested if my period has been 2 weeks late, so I would never have noticed a early loss

Theycalledmethewildrose · 08/10/2017 00:49

But if I hadn't have been trying to get pregnant I'd have never known

I think this is true in a lot of cases where you are trying for a baby and test as soon as possible. I wonder what is the time definition of an early miscarriage - under three months?

I know when I lost a baby, I went for a scan and I thought I was much further along but sadly the baby had stopped growing at six to eight weeks. They scanned to ensure the sac was empty to avoid potential complications.

Camomila · 08/10/2017 00:51

Does it count as a miscarriage if the eggs gets fertilised but doesn’t implant? Because I thought that happened most of the time? (I may be missremembering school biology)

I think in the future I am not going to take a pregnancy test until I miss two periods and save myself stress....I’ve not had a misscarriage (that I know off) but I had some random bleeding at 5weeks with DS which the dr thought might be an ectopic pregnancy and meant staying in hospital overnight.

Original poster
brasty · 08/10/2017 00:58

I thought the egg had to implant. But I may be totally wrong on that.
I think taking a pregnancy test later. might be a good idea - although I totally understand the pull to take very early ones.

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 08/10/2017 00:59

I'm in my mid-50s, have three DC and haven't had a miscarriage to my knowledge. None of my close friends or my SILs have had one either, we were actually discussing this recently.

We've either been extremely fortunate or it could be because the early testing that is available now wasn't so reliable when we were having our children 20 or so years ago and so we wouldn't have noticed an early loss.

I've only done three pregnancy tests ever in my life, all when I was at least couple of weeks late and just to confirm my suspicions that I was pregnant.

DoesHeWantToOrNot · 08/10/2017 01:00

I've never had one. I've had one pregnancy and now one little girl.

I am fully aware however that next time I may not be so lucky.

Original poster
brasty · 08/10/2017 01:01

I think later miscarriages are rare. Most are early one.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 08/10/2017 01:02

Not sure if my maths is right here but I've heard one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage so that means (I'd guess) as mos people who have children have two or more, that about 50% of women with kids have had a miscarriage I know I have.

However, women who don't have kids and have never tried for kids, I'd not want to assume anything on their behalf.

Plus some women have many miscarriages so maybe this means others of us have fewer.

But after working that out I read this..

As many as 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage
Among women who know they are pregnant, it is estimated that 1 in 6 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
1 in 4 women experience a miscarriage during their lifetimes
The majority of miscarriages happen in the first trimester – over 80% of miscarriages occur before 12 weeks (which is why the Tommy’s National Miscarriage Centre’s research is dedicated to exploring the causes of early miscarriage)
The overall risk of miscarriage under 12 weeks in known pregnancies is 1 in 5

But these figures do not really make sense to me.

www.tommys.org/our-organisation/charity-research/pregnancy-statistics/miscarriage

Camomila · 08/10/2017 01:03

I’m not sure how reliable pregnancy tests were 20/30 years ago, my DM didn’t get a positive pregnancy test with me till she was 3 months pregnant (late 80s)

pickleface · 08/10/2017 01:06

I'm pretty sure I've had a few

LisaSimpsonsbff · 08/10/2017 01:08

I've heard that 'in the past no one knew' thing a lot. I can only speak for myself but I've had three miscarriages, two at five weeks and one at seven. All three I had rock hard breasts - something I've never had at any time except when pregnant. My two at five weeks were far heavier and more painful than a usual period. The one at seven weeks (even though embryo had actually stopped developing at five) I had cramps so bad I couldn't stand and passed a lump/clot/something the size of a golf ball. I obviously couldn't have been certain of what happened to me before modern pregnancy testing, but I suspect I would have had a pretty good guess.

squeekums · 08/10/2017 01:12

I wouldnt know if i have. I dont track my cycle and even when i was pregnant, i still bled whole way through, to the extent i only found out at 27 weeks
I can only assume the 2 super heavy periods (way outta norm) ive had in my life have been a miscarriage

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