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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To NOT get WIFI??

310 replies

loveitorleaveit · 07/10/2017 20:16

Me and my DP have a phone each with more than enough data to use when we are at home for internet etc. We have 3 TVs throughout the house with more than enough channels, a DVD player and a PS4 with mass amounts of dvds and games. We have never felt the need to pay an addition cost for sky/virgin/WiFi

My DP has an 11 year old son who comes to ours every other weekend and twice each week on week nights. Since he got his own phone and iPad for his birthday we allow him to connect to our data so he can use them to play on games and access the internet.

I am just about fed up of hearing his comments about us not having WiFi or sky ‘you’re like old people’ ‘it’s just stupid’ ‘I guess I’ll have to waste my mobile data AGAIN’ ‘oh great we have to watch NORMAL tv’ ‘god sake I can’t play online here on PS4’

Really!!?? I’ve told him to doesn’t know how lucky he is! He just roles his eyes at me. My DP doesn’t say anything to his comments, and tells me that’s kids nowadays!

Maybe it is but it still frustrates me!

AIBU???

OP posts:
Roussette · 08/10/2017 17:36

My attitude is bizarre but your kids wouldn’t be at home if you didn’t have WiFi

I think that comment's directed at me. Yes, they wouldn't come home. Two of them occasionally work from home and can do that here. They need online conferencing facilities to do their jobs, so you are totally right, they would not be able to come and see us if we didn't have WiFi. You can't do that on a mobile!

GabsAlot · 08/10/2017 17:41

giv your son a couple of years he will want wifi

esp for his ps4-my dh's stoppd working when he couldnt update it du to a connction problem

Topseyt · 08/10/2017 17:54

Laughing at the notion that those of us with WiFi have kids who never go outside. 😂😂

Yesterday my DD was playing hockey for her club and then went out for a meal with her friend in the evening. Today she was playing hockey at county level in a tournament. We left at 11.30am and have just got back. But no, she spends all day every day on the WiFi and has no fresh air.

Sandy, I see her working and I do check. She puts herself under enormous pressure to do extra too, which I can see for myself and is confirmed by the school. I worry about burnout for her because she just doesn't stop. When she needs hard copies or anything like that she uses the network printer (my printer) and that is at all hours of the evening.

Her school has just gone virtually 100% online as due to budget cuts they can no longer afford (as of this year) to buy planners or anything else for the students. Online is much cheaper, I understand.

LewisThere · 08/10/2017 18:02

Yep.
But I'm also laughing at the idea that a child would refuse to go in a house wo WIFI too when there is an Internet connexion anyway....

Topseyt · 08/10/2017 18:03

As for children not wanting to come home due to lack of WiFi, DD1 and I need it to work from home. DD2 is studying a totally computer based college course hoping to learn to write computer games and progress into that industry (hugely competitive) and DD3 needs it for homework.

They would want to come home, but wouldn't be able to because nothing would work.

Oh, and just to add, DD1 and DD2 took our dogs out for a good walk today too, while DH and I went to hockey with DD3. They didn't sit in all day on the WiFi.

LewisThere · 08/10/2017 18:20

Oh fgs, of course if you need it for very specific reason such as doing a computer based course, then you do need a wifi system.
But that's not the case of the OP at all.

If you want to compare things, then it has to be like for like.

Fwiw if you forget about the cost (which I believe is much more for lots of data on mobile than it is for a wifi system), then I have a better connexion from my mobile than from my internet provider....
its true at home and also at work....

IncyWincyGrownUp · 08/10/2017 20:30

You know what OP, my initial response was reasonably kind considering your attitude.

Your most recent set of rants has made it abundantly clear that you’re nothing more than a goady fucker though.

Goodenoughisgoodenough · 08/10/2017 22:52

He is 11! He does not need wifi! My 11-year-old boy has no mobile phone. He plays games on my mobile occassionally, and on my laptop. But no more than one hour a day and not every day.
Not having wifi would bother me - but really, he is a young boy. He does not NEED wifi. His expectation is ridiculous. Yes my son moans about not having a mobile, but he also just gets on with life. Does other things. Increasingly I'm frustrated with this screen-obsessed childhood thing. He should thank you for limiting his access to wifi!

IncyWincyGrownUp · 08/10/2017 23:17

At 11 my daughter had to access MyMaths, Doddle, and another website for homework. Two of those sites did not work on the mobile devices we owned at the time. A PC and an internet connection were required if she was to do the work and avoid detentions.

Now not all schools have similar systems, but they are becoming more popular. I suppose she could have taken the bus to the local library to use those websites if necessary, though the library computers are notoriously slow, unreliable, and prone to refusing to work well if things such as flash are required. Also, at the age of 11 it would have had to be a family outing three times a week because the area where the library is situated is shocking and I wouldn’t have had her going alone.

But yeah, tell me my then eleven year old was screen obsessed.

She’s nearly fifteen now and spends hours a day using our internet connection. She streams music from Spotify while she completes assignments for her art GCSE course, or she’ll be getting pronunciation help while she’s memorising vocab for French, she’ll sometimes look up a technique for graphics, or even order stuff for her projects on amazon too.

My autistic ten year old uses google docs to transmit work to his teacher instead of having to handwrite it, sometimes while streaming classical music or film soundtracks to his wireless headphones. That way he manages to keep up with classwork when he’s finding it hard at school and hasn’t managed to finish during the day.

My five year old lives for watching other people play games. He also lives for lego, train sets, reading, numbers, dinosaurs, cheesy pasta bake, trampolines, and a little cushion from IKEA with random arty splodges on it.

The internet isn’t the problem here. The problem is people who think the internet is in charge. It’s not. It’s a tool, and a useful one at that. I have no problem saying no to my children where needed. I also have no problem with my children utilising every resource at their disposal in order to live well.

safariboot · 08/10/2017 23:56

I'll give a countervailing view. To those who think fast home broadband is essential: 1.4 million UK homes cannot get it. And more could get it but cannot afford it. Clearly many of those will be bringing up children, and clearly they manage.

While OP is limiting DSS's entertainment options by not getting home broadband, I think a lot of people are overblowing it. Homework and other essential use can be done on a decent mobile broadband connection using the tethering or hotspot function on any decent smartphone, which is no hassle and OP has stated they do.

Source: www.ofcom.org.uk/about-ofcom/latest/media/media-releases/2016/digital-divide-declines

Far from being backward, for light users - those who don't watch online video or do gaming - going mobile-only is quite forward thinking IMHO, and will save you £20-30 a month. As mobile networks advance it'll become more common. Problem is DSS doesn't want to be a light user.

But @loveitorleaveit , how about looking at it this way: It's a toy your DSS really really wants. Find out how much it costs, then decide if you're going to get it for him.

(You don't need 'superfast' fibre, standard ADSL will be fine, but you should get unlimited. Remember if you don't already have a landline phone you'll need to pay line rental too.)

BlueSapp · 09/10/2017 01:22

The government have identified WiFi as a necessity for everyone and have initiatives running in order to reach every home in the uk.

verystressedmum · 09/10/2017 01:52

I’m 42 and couldn’t live without WiFi we have unlimited fibre and I also have 6 GB data on my phone but it wouldn’t last the month at all, and certainly wouldn’t last a day if my dc were hot spotting it.
I do work from home so really really need it for that but I also do everything else in my life online.
My dads 84 and he has Wifi Grin

It’s up to you what you do in your house but I’m not surprised at his comments, and I’d also not be surprised if he chooses to not to visit so much when he’s a bit older. Not because he doesn’t care about you and his dad but because WiFi is so important nowadays.

Roussette · 09/10/2017 07:54

I don't know how on earth you type a piece of homework on a mobile phone? Shock Surely phones are for short messages not typing up and researching for pieces of work.

I also don't know why someone makes life deliberately difficult for themselves by not having wifi. If you were to get it, you will wonder why you stuck out not to have it.

Surely your SS's friends will think it's a bit odd. What about being bullied, when you're 11 and just into secondary school the last thing you want is to feel different in any way.

Lweji · 09/10/2017 08:00

Of course homework can be done using mobile data.

The problem here is this is a kid who plays games. They got him a PS4.
But, he'll be used to playing online with his friends (I have a 12 year old with a PS4) and his dad's house doesn't feel like home. He'll feel like a visitor who has to make do with mobile Internet, and I bet that's the main issue for him.

SandyDenny · 09/10/2017 08:34

Saying that the people who can"t afford WiFi “manage” might be true but the children of those households are the ones who don't achieve well at school statistically hence the pupil premium scheme.

It's ridiculous to use that as a reason not to WiFi if you can afford it.

Disclaimer - obviously I'm talking statistically, no need to post that you got a first from Oxford with only a slate tablet to disprove my point.

MuddlingThroughLife · 09/10/2017 08:36

I couldn't cope without WiFi. We all enjoy technology, TV and social media in our house.

Connected to our WiFi are two smart Tv's (one in ds room and one in girls room), ds Xbox one, five mobile phones (though ds rarely uses his which is a hand me down), two tablets, the laptop when it's on and the printer. We also have TiVo, Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Excessive? Not to us. And prior to ds becoming ill we had plenty of days out, time away from gadgets, family time etc. Ds always used to play out too whatever the weather, riding his bike etc. but he's not currently able to do that.

Oh and three Tv's I don't think is too much.....we have five in a three bed terrace!

Lweji · 09/10/2017 09:05

Btw, I suspect there's some confusion between broadband and wi-fi

DemonBaby · 09/10/2017 09:08

All you WiFi obsessed people are the reason why children don’t go outdoors anymore. At least both our boys still love going out on their bikes and scooters/ playing football on the park with Dad and having family days out

Er no, we didn't have wifi when I was a kid and I didn't play any sports, hardly went outside etc etc.

I'm still like that, I'm a lazy introvert and I like my duvet, my tea and my internet Grin.

theEagleIsLost · 09/10/2017 10:26

Homework and other essential use can be done on a decent mobile broadband connection using the tethering or hotspot function on any decent smartphone, which is no hassle and OP has stated they do.

When we moved here we had 5 weeks of this - BT had issues getting a phone line in then we had to get another engineer out as first had failed to hook up broadband bit after they finally got phone line in.

It was so slow - better than not having internet at all - meant a lot of sites especially on-line learning sites - weren't useable basic webpages were the limit really . Plus we always had to pay for more data.

When we go on holiday we only go for places with WIFI as we all have devices now – though we manage to go out and about outside still. My parents and IL in their 60s and 70s have chromecast devices or fires stick, kindles and laptops – so all have WIFI too.

So I agree with 11 year old – it’s odd not to have it.

Oldie2017 · 09/10/2017 10:38

My mother used to come into the house on hot summer Saturday afternoons and complain we had the curtains shut and were watching films on the TV (before the internet)..... however we then and my children later all have done lots of sports too and been outside a lot. Wifi is pretty essential for most of us. Refusing it is pretty typical for step parent action to be honest to by all means stick with the stereotype or perhaps instead try to be the bigger person - get the boy his wifi.

deepestdarkestperu · 09/10/2017 10:45

Homework and other essential use can be done on a decent mobile broadband connection using the tethering or hotspot function on any decent smartphone, which is no hassle and OP has stated they do.

Sure, but why would you go for the slowest, most expensive option, when you can pay for broadband, and get a faster, unlimited internet connection?

In my old flat, an engineer doing works downstairs accidentally cut our internet connection, so we had to rely on mobile internet for a few days until someone could come out and fix it. Yes, it worked, but my GOD it was slow. Pages took 4-5 times longer to load, you couldn't watch videos without waiting an age for them to buffer, and no way could you watch Netflix or update a PS4/Xbox or anything.

WiF is slowly becoming an essential for the modern world. Refusing to get it for your children because you don't need it is ridiculous (assuming you can afford it). If OP can afford a PS4, games, a ton of DVD's and two phones with enough mobile data to use as a hotspot, she can afford WiFi.

LewisThere · 09/10/2017 10:56

For one because you can be in the situation where your broadband is slower than your mobile connexion (as it the case for us. And yes our broadband is crap but I do find myself connecting on my mobile network rather than broadband on a NOT so irregular basis. Or I just give up going on the net)

Yes I would assume that it is more expensive. But surely that's not the question the OP was asking and nor is it the problem of her dss if THEY (the OP and her DH) have decided to use mobile connexion rather than broadband??

granny24 · 09/10/2017 11:05

I grew up post war in houses that had no gas, electricity, central heating, double glazing.
I survived, BUT would not wish to live without any of them now. Two years ago circumstances meant staying six months in a house without wifi., and with very iffy mobile reception. I really missed it and would never willingly be without fast Internet availability. I don't have TV but but WiFi access is non negotiable. YABVVU

Oliversmumsarmy · 09/10/2017 11:36

I think op you are so obsessed with not having WiFi you would rather overspend on stuff just to prove a point.

We don't have a dvd player. If I want to watch a film, series, etc I will either use amazon, think around £79 for the year and I get free delivery thrown in on stuff I buy so rendering it a free by product. Or Now tv. I think it is about £10 per month. Free when you find the codes
A dvd not only do you have to go out to buy the thing you then have to find a place for it after. Or you take it to cex which involves another trip out.

Costing out even if you only buy 1 dvd per month it is far cheaper to just go for Netflix or Now or Amazon.
My WIFI costs £20 per month and I get free calls after 6pm

Your dss might be in year 6 at school in which case atm he might just about get away with tethering to your phone for homework but as soon as he is in secondary you are going to have a problem as most schools require WiFi access because the online sites they use for homework need WiFi.

What will you do when your ds gets into secondary. Will you refuse to get WiFi and tell the school he can't do his homework.

Op are you very young as what you describe comes across as someone who hasn't really grown up enough to set aside their own prejudices and realise that the child they are supposed to be looking after might need something other than what is sufficient for themselves.

Chattymummyhere · 09/10/2017 12:56

Best get the local feral kids parents to get wifi to keep them in the houses. Nope wait they already have wifi. Just like we do and have an allotment our children are at everyday growing and building thing.

Our school send everything via ParentMail and use online maths portals for homework. The local secondary issues iPads for all students and all homework is online. In fact in my child's primary it states access to a computer, printer and broadband at home for completing homework in its required of parents by the school section. All school photos are ordered online, all achievements/notices/requests/photos are posted on the school twitter.

We average over 120gb useage on our wifi amonth alone without the added data useage on our phones when out.

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