To NOT get WIFI??

[loveitorleaveit]

Me and my DP have a phone each with more than enough data to use when we are at home for internet etc. We have 3 TVs throughout the house with more than enough channels, a DVD player and a PS4 with mass amounts of dvds and games. We have never felt the need to pay an addition cost for sky/virgin/WiFi

My DP has an 11 year old son who comes to ours every other weekend and twice each week on week nights. Since he got his own phone and iPad for his birthday we allow him to connect to our data so he can use them to play on games and access the internet.

I am just about fed up of hearing his comments about us not having WiFi or sky ‘you’re like old people’ ‘it’s just stupid’ ‘I guess I’ll have to waste my mobile data AGAIN’ ‘oh great we have to watch NORMAL tv’ ‘god sake I can’t play online here on PS4’

Really!!?? I’ve told him to doesn’t know how lucky he is! He just roles his eyes at me. My DP doesn’t say anything to his comments, and tells me that’s kids nowadays!

Maybe it is but it still frustrates me!

AIBU???

To an 11 year old (and many other people) having no wifi is akin to having no electricity or hot water. Think about it.. they're the first generation who have grown up not knowing what the world is like without digital tech. To them it's a basic essential. They need to feel connected, if they're not online they're effectively cut off from their world.

I went to a holiday let recently with no wifi, my teens were astounded that I would actually stay somewhere so basic!

Mobile data is pretty expensive so I can see why he gets upset as it probably drains his monthly allowance pretty quickly if he had to use it all the time at your house. Wifi is pretty cheap nowadays, I can't imagine there are many people that don't have it.

An 11 yr old doesn't get to demand what "they" want. They have to learn that certain things aren't/won't be available for them. It's called "life".

So I'm with the OP.

Btw...My Parents don't have access to the 'net as they're not interested in it & when we visit, we go without access to the 'net.

I don't know anyone without WiFi these days.

Itssunny . Maslow definitely got it wrong.

I like that it's sunny-very true!

No wifi is a good way to discourage your stepson from continuing contact as he gets older, and all of his own volition. Well done op!

Most Wi-fi needs can be substituted with a huge 4G package, Freeview and a PVR, but I can’t see how you’d manage a PS4 without WiFi. Also, how do you print stuff? Not often necessary but when it’s needed it’s really needed.

Sandy, it features very heavily as they go up the school.

My DD3 is in her GCSE year now. Revision exercises and almost all actual homework are almost all done and submitted entirely online. She is doing schoolwork on her laptop from when she gets in until late into the evening.

Last winter our WiFi went down for about a week when BT cocked up a changeover to a different contract and didn't connect the correct cables at the local exchange. Disastrous. I was trying to work from home at the time and had to rely on a very kind neighbour lending me their password in order to earn my living. I also had to do a LOT of liaising with DD's school so that all necessary teachers knew that she was telling the truth about the lack of home WiFi being the reason she couldn't submit her work on time.

Tbf I couldn't cope without wifi just for myself and 3 YO DS.
Granted that 4G is practically non existent where I live, but even if it were I'd eat through all my data rather quickly, and that's without tethering everything else off it.

The 11 YO has grown up in a world where he's only ever known internet access. Most of what he will be wanting to do will require the internet, so it's understandable that he's moaning about lack of it when at your home (OK moaning may not be the best reaction but he is 11 after all).

If you had wifi then he'd be able to watch whatever TV he wanted on a tablet or phone and chances are his mum will have a Netflix or Sky Go account he can log into, but if using just the data tethered from your phones then he's probably struggling to get decent speed and also could eat through your data in just a few hours.

So a TV package wouldn't be necessary anyway if you just got a wifi package for the home.

An 11 yr old doesn't get to demand what "they" want. They have to learn that certain things aren't/won't be available for them. It's called "life".

And it's also called "life" when the OP's DSS stops visiting because his need to use wifi - for school (which will increase as he gets older) and socialising - outweighs the need to be made to feel uncomfortable in his home by his dad and step mum because they won't provide it. Also what happens if he comes for his weeknight visits and he can't do homework ... will you write him a note "Sorry DSS didn't do his homework, we don't have wifi and our phone data wasn't stable enough"?

DD accepts that at my house we "just" have freeview & NowTV whereas at her dad's house she has access to the full Sky package because she accepts not everything is available to her ... but she still gets to say she wants something and her dad and I will assess whether its something she genuinely needs or if it's just a fad/phase/expensive tat that's not worth the money. Needing Wifi is not a fad/phase, it's a necessity for teenagers and most people nowadays and if you won't provide a necessity then the OP's DSS is going to stop visiting.

Even if you choose not to have home broadband, you can get a portable wifi router for less than £10 (I have one with my EE contract I pay £7.50 a month for) that you could use when DSS visits that is more stable (and cheaper) than mobile data. For the rest of the time you can turn it off and pretend it doesn't exist while you use your phone data ... what's more important, saving about £10 a month or making DSS feel welcome?

This is in no way related to the fact that he is my step son! How dare anyone tell me I’m a bad step mum because of mine and DPs choice about this. I have a brilliant relationship with SS and been in his life since he was 18 months, also have a fantastic relationship with his mother!!

Oh and I DO have my own child who is 8 but doesn’t complain about WiFi.

SS is not at the stage where he needs anymore than his iPad for school work, which he often does at home or in the school library with friends (his choice) if this did become an issue then of course we would accommodate it if it became a need for him.

All you WiFi obsessed people are the reason why children don’t go outdoors anymore. At least both our boys still love going out on their bikes and scooters/ playing football on the park with Dad and having family days out.

I suspect she is doing it so he stops visiting his dad, the typical Disney evil stepmother situation, and he will when he can't do his homework and gets into trouble for it.
I'm honestly baffled why you would rather pay all that data cost than cheap WiFi that will save you loads of money.oh and fyi , you can't access school homework sites on mobile phones so he can't do his homework that way.
I suspect you are enjoying making his school life a misery OP

Who's obsessed with wifi? It's just hugely more practical to have it than not.

It's like insisting on cooking on an open fire in the garden every evening instead of buying a cooker, then shrieking 'obsessed' at people who point out that taking three hours to cook a meal outside in the depths on winter is easily and cheaply avoidable.

You lost your moral high ground when you insulted everyone else loveit, now you’re as bad as the people who called you out.

For what it’s worth, we use a lot of data so a broadband package is cheaper than mobile data.

If you’re saving money by using mobile data far play, but that probably won’t be sustainable forever.

And yes before you say primary schools do also have internet homework. It's a maths site that your own child will be using at school already or soon will , and yes they will get homework on it but you won't have a problem if it's for your own child will you.

My DD's homework is set online. She doest have a phone and the website doesnt work on mine. Plus I write lots of fanfiction so WIFI is a must for us. My DD gets plenty of fresh air.

All you WiFi obsessed people are the reason why children don’t go outdoors anymore.

LOLZ

Newsflash - it is actually possible to have WiFi and do all these things.

Strikes me your aversion to WiFi is nothing to do with it being “unnecessary” and a form of inverse snobbery where you can feel superior to everyone else for not having it.

If he's using his own data as you say, it could be costing him a lot of money and presumably at the age of 11 he's not in a position to be able to pay it. My normal mobile bill is around £40 including a couple of gig data allowance,when we moved house and were without broadband for about 10 days my bill rocketed to £120 due to data charges.

As others have said, a PS4 is pretty hobbled without access to the Internet, and he will need it for schoolwork at some point. Mobile data is notoriously expensive when compared to broadband connection so I don't really understand why the resistance. Plus, when you tether to your phone, don't you have to manually connect each time? What a faff.

Broadband is a pretty standard and basic utility imo, if that makes me 'WiFi obsessed' (what a bizarre accusation) then so be it.

All you WiFi obsessed people are the reason why children don’t go outdoors anymore. At least both our boys still love going out on their bikes and scooters/ playing football on the park with Dad and having family days out.

Oh good lord, it's another version of 'in my day' speech. It's no wonder that your SS think of you like 'old people' .

Your point is utterly ridiculous by the way, people here have given plenty of reasons why you're unreasonable (which you asked), and even cited (correctly) that by having 4G over WIFI, you're putting yourself at a security risk. For me, that would be reason enough to just pay an extra little bit for broadband, but please carry on being ignorant about the whole thing. Fine if you don't want to accept WIFI is an integral part of a home these days, but you're only doing yourself a disservice.

PS it is possible to have broadband and to have a healthy, active, life that involves being sociable and going out. That attempt at moral high ground doesn't really sit well with me.

What bakedbeans47 said. It's like people who don't have a TV (which is absolutely fine in itself) but then flaunt that fact as if they're suddenly intellectually/morally superior because of it.

I just read the OP and think really WTF wifi is free. What are you on about? No wonder why your 11yo think it's weird.

Do you even know what it is?

Topseyt - I have DC who have done both gcse and A levels wit very little time spent online other than for revision, I'm interested in what your DC is doing for all those hours outside of school online.

OP - it's frankly stupid to think your DC are unique in spending time outside and on their bikes, you don't really think that a house with WiFi = children who never leave their screens do you?

I hope the overwhelming concensus that YABU will at least prompt you and your DP to reconsider

All you WiFi obsessed people are the reason why children don’t go outdoors anymore. At least both our boys still love going out on their bikes and scooters/ playing football on the park with Dad and having family days out.

Except you started a thread about how your ss hates the fact you don't have it :s

BTW having wifi doesn't mean people don't go outside, those two things are not hand in hand. What an idiotic thing to say.

OP you are coming across very badly. You asked for opinion, almost everyone told you yes you are unreasonable and you have reacted by throwing your toys out of the cot.

I bet my last penny that the moment your 8yo asks for wifi you’ll get it.