to be tired of hearing this from everyone?

[yawning801]

SLIGHTLY LIGHTHEARTED!

I'm a size 6 (sometimes eight) and 5ft 5. My doctor is telling me that I urgently need to gain weight. I've tried pigging out and weight-gain powders, etc etc, all to no avail. And all I hear is this:

"Just eat!"
"It must be SO HARD for you, trying to GAIN WEIGHT!"
"You're so lucky, trying to gain weight! I need to lose weight!"
"Can I give you some of mine?"
"Hey, Friend X! yawning is trying to gain weight!"

AIBU to want to take off anyone's face who says the above?

[HelenaDove]

Martha

Since losing weight i also feel the cold a lot more (not in the same way as some of you obvs) the only good thing about being big was it kept me warm in the winter.

[MarthaArthur]

Thanks Helena. You are my new hero. Thats amazing weightloss. How are you finding the change? I think the cold is a big thing a lot of people dont really consider but it has a big impact.

[Ineedfun]

I used to have this problem. Was a size 6-8!for years, couldn't put weight on no matter what I ate and had trouble finding clothes to fit.

Then I was diagnosed with coeliac disease and I'm now a size 10

[letsmargaritatime]

The thing is op, if you are overweight then nobody will ever accept that it is not completely within your control. Everybody states (especially on here) that it really is as simple as eat less, move more. Or particularly, eat less. Yet I often see posts from the slim posters saying they just can't gain weight, or asking how can they gain weight, that don't have these reactions. "Naturally slim" seems slightly more accepted and less cynically received than "naturally fat"

[HelenaDove]

Its been a while. I lost the original 10 stone between 2002 and 2004.

Kept it off until DH got ill then slowly regained 4 between 2007 and 2013

Went back to SW 4 years ago and it took 3 and a half years to lose 4 stone. I had to tweak their plan a bit the second time. Because their so called low syn recommendations are high in sugar. Thats when i realised my body could not handle the sugar in so called low fat anymore. It can actually handle fat (in a sensible amount obvs) better than it handles sugar. I had to do it this way or not lose weight at all. It was slow loss second time but i dont gain as easily now because it was so slow so at Christmas i can let go a bit (and i do. im only human) and not do too much damage.

Ive found a way that works for me.

[londonrach]

Yanbu. I had a friend who struggled to gain weight and could eat her weight in biscuits and still loose weight. She looked ill and hated it but loved her hobby too much ( running as sadly she was unable to have children so her running became more important).

[londonrach]

Every patient told her she needed to gain weight. Awful.

[Sequence]

YANBU. People who don't know how to listen and be truly supportive try to find you a non-existent quick fix, despite having no particular knowledge of the subject. It's as if they can't cope with you having a longer-term, more complicated problem and prefer to push trite "advice" to stop you complaining. Not helpful or friendly! And if you say their tips are as useless as a ginger biscuit for hyperemesis they just say you should think positive.

[yawning801]

I haven't weighed myself recently but the last time I weighed myself I was around 7 stone. I have been told "Look under "lightweight" in the dictionary and there's a picture of you!" recently. Thanks for all the reassurance and advice!

[MarthaArthur]

Thats admirable you must have the will of steel. And to everyone struggling with their weight whether thdy are over or under. Its so hard to get to and maintain a healthy level.

[HelenaDove]

Ta Martha.


I dont know why ppl cant STFU about how women look. And it is mostly women who get this. Its sexism.

[MuddlingThroughLife]

I don't know how helpful this will be to you but here goes!

Ds aged 10 has recently finished chemo and was steadily losing weight. The dieticians advice was to give him whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. Although fruit and veg are important, we were told to only give small portions of fruit and veg as they are bulky and would fill him to quickly therefore reducing the amount of calories we could get in to him.

Good luck!

[HelenaDove]

Hope your DS is better soon Muddling.

[frieda909]

YANBU OP, and I say that as a slightly overweight woman myself! I have a friend who's very slim and always struggles to put weight on, and some of the comments she gets are outrageous.

I once had to go with her to A&E after she had an accident and the nurse asked when she'd last eaten. Then before she could even answer the nurse said 'look at you, you haven't eaten in days have you?'

We'd been out for pizza the night before. My friend said as much and the nurse just said 'hmm... sure you did '

So fucking rude.

[MarthaArthur]

muddling hope your ds is doing well now.

[MuddlingThroughLife]

Thank you for your good wishes Helen and Martha He was diagnosed with a brain tumour in january, he's doing good and we are now waiting for his end of treatment MRI results from friday 🤞

[Hebenon]

Question, do other people on here who cant gain weight, do you feel cold and dizzy a lit too?

Until I put around a stone on as part of the ageing process, I did often feel cold. I would wear a fleece in bed, under a duvet etc. I was 7 stone plus or minus maybe a couple of pounds throughout my adult life (apart from pregnancy). I am the same height as OP. I'm now 8 stone and don't really feel the cold in the same way at all. I frequently just sleep in a vest top now. It has made a huge difference to my temperature!

Best of luck to your son, Muddling. I hope there are plenty of nice calorific things that he enjoys and feels like eating and that the rest of his treatment goes well.

[IvorHughJarrs]

I'm a porker so my first suggestion is that you move in with me and eat some of my food (might help us both! )
Other than that my only useful suggestion would be to use the NHS diet reinforcement guidelines, my elderly neighbour was given these a while back and they helped him. Your GP should be able to supply these or get a dietitian to send them for you. Alternatively get some Complan, make it up with full cream milk and have one serving mid-morning and one mid-afternoon in addition to normal meals

I agree with your point that shaming you is just as bad as shaming me. It's a shame some people can't just accept we are all different

[MarthaArthur]

Complan i was thinking of! Blinking vile stuff 😁 i used to pur milkshake powder and cocoa in with them but it never altered the hideous flavour.

[Coconutspongexo]

Fingers crossed for your son & your family muddling

[MuddlingThroughLife]

Thank you Hebbenon and dipping.

[pussinhavaianas]

I used to get those comments all the time, despite eating like a hungry pregnant hyena. No matter what I ate, I just couldn't gain weight as I have a small frame. I think with age it gradually changed. I feel your pain though, I don't think people realise how insensitive they are being, since they aren't commenting on the reverse (being larger).

[StrangeLookingParasite]

At the risk of sounding a bit Victorian, I think personal remarks are bad manners. (And I don't think it's jealousy, as much as envy, with saying things to the thinner among us.)
Believe me, everyone has an opinion when you're overweight too, not to mention anything medically wrong with you is blamed on being fat. Anything at all.

[Thebearsbunny]

I was the same, I had a 22 inch waist up till my late 20’s when I filled out slightly. I have always loved my food and have an aversion to exercise (though I can’t drive so walk a lot). I’m now 51 and since menopause I’m struggling to keep the weight off. For the first time In my life I have to be careful about what I eat. Some people are naturally very slim, especially at a young age. I hated being so slim, people used to ask me if I had a eating disperser. It was distressing at times.

[PolarBearkshire]

If DOCTOR tells you to gain some weight clearly your size dont matter- your bidy is probably shutting down from lack of nutrients stc heart does struggle the most when person weighs little - you NEED food to keep going. Size actually dont mean anything. I have tiny bones and my body fat % is higher than my fat friend's... she looks pretty big because her built is just pretty big. So if it is the case- you really should contact dietician and start working on your HEALTH- size or weight is just a side thing.
And yes if media can hunt and fat shame we definitely should put our attention on very wasting away people- they have not got lots of time to lose.
You can be annoyed all you like but you really need to have a very hard look at your health and what you are eating and DO listen to your doctor!