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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the worst funeral behaviour you've seen?

356 replies

Fishface77 · 06/10/2017 22:47

I went to a funeral today.
open coffin at home.
People were filing past the coffin to pay their respects when someone decided they wanted to get to the crem in a hurry.
Cue pushing and shoving and the coffin almost fell of the stand. Saved by the mans wife!
Also random women wailing. Seriously no
Need.

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 07/10/2017 09:42

One of my DDs schoolfriends was killed in a really horrific road accident. It caused a massive shockwave as he was 17, really popular and a genuinely decent lad with a huge group of friends. What was the most upsetting was all of these friends uploading photos to FB/Instagram throughout the funeral and burial, and standing for selfies with his coffin before it was interred.
It was appalling, and wasn't necessary. I felt so bad for his Mum who was tagged in a lot of them on FB Shock. I know we all cope with grief and they were young but it was way too much.

8misskitty8 · 07/10/2017 09:44

At my nanas funeral my uncles first wife and his current wife attended. In the toilets they had a fight ( wife no. 1 mum was my nanas best friend. They remained so even after my uncle cheated and left wife 1 with 3 young children)
One of my cousins was in the toilet and heard the whole thing. It was so bad she couldn't come out the cubicle.

My uncle cheated on first wife with second wife. They both had babies at the same time as well. They shouted and screamed at each other about it. 1st accused the 2nd of stealing uncle etc. Slapping each other.

It all got hidden from papa at the time and the 1st wife was escorted out by some of my cousins so he didn't see .

The funeral didn't start too good either as the humanist was late due to the original one being drunk.

babybarrister · 07/10/2017 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sinceyouask · 07/10/2017 09:46

There are always fights (screaming verbal abuse at a minimum, usually full on punch ups)at funerals in my dm's family. They're a lovely bunch.

Bornfreebutinbiscuits · 07/10/2017 09:52

I have had many awful funeral experiences and its quite comforting to hear its the norm really. I suppose at such time of heightened emotions...

Bubblysqueak · 07/10/2017 09:55

At the funeral of a close friends dm everyone stood ready to sing, the music started playing and then silence. Not 1 person, even the person conductingbthe funeral knew the words. Close friend was looking around at everyone who was also staring blankly and then got the giggles, which spread. The entire crematorium had stifled giggles through out the very long song.
Thankfully none of the family were upset and it turns out after discussion at the wake that the deceased had picked the songs and it was probably her sense of humour to pick an unknown song.

Potofbobbles · 07/10/2017 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlpacaPicnic · 07/10/2017 10:02

DHs father took his own life when DH was in his late teens. They had been NC after mil had divorced him many years earlier.
At the funeral, DH was handed a very young baby and was told 'this is your sister'.
Now I know he needed to be told, but maybe not right at that point? Maybe a day or two earlier, or later, to give him time to process a lot of very complicated feelings.

5rivers7hills · 07/10/2017 10:08

People did coke in ththe toilets of the pub where the wake was happening. Pub managed bust them. Pub manager kicked out all the wake attendees. That was quite bad.

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 07/10/2017 10:08

I went to my dp's grandads funeral earlier this year. His cousins were taking photos of the coffin and hearse and then put them on Facebook. I was horrified.

cambodianfoxhound · 07/10/2017 10:11

A cyclist screaming at the undertaker that the hearse was blocking the road on the quiet residential street - whilst it was parked outside the family’s home waiting for the family...

wineusuallyhelps · 07/10/2017 10:15

When my brother stuck two fingers up at me as he drove into the crematorium. Classy.

fullofhope03 · 07/10/2017 10:19

Have just remembered another funeral that I attended. Friend of mine's DM had passed away and a very elderly vicar came out of retirement to conduct the service.
He started proceedings by reading from the wedding service sheet instead of the funeral one - "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to....Oh, dear, um, I'm terribly sorry" etc etc. Luckily my friend saw the funny side bless him!

Elendon · 07/10/2017 10:22

At my aunt's wake her dead husband's relatives were moving furniture out of her house - she owned the house. The police had to be called to stop them (this was in Northern Ireland) and someone had to stay in the house on the day of the funeral.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 07/10/2017 10:22

Not exactly worst funeral experience, more entirely unexpected!

Brother had recently bought a semi derelict house in a hamlet in France. He had met one of the neighbours, who was v nice but apparently somewhat odd/eccentric.

On a later visit she invited him in for drinks - at least that was what he'd thought, and his French wasn't bad at all.

On entering, he found guests crammed into a room where her husband was lying in an open coffin on the dining table!

He had enough aplomb not to show any shock, but after that the bad boy privately christened her the Widow Twanky. This was years ago, should add that he's always got on famously with all the neighbours.

JeffJarrett · 07/10/2017 10:25

Have to be careful not to out myself, my lovely Auntie overheard in the toilets at her brothers wake “what will I do for money now my Dad’s dead?”

cowgirlsareforever · 07/10/2017 10:29

Solicitors who charge a fee to attend a deceased client's funeral.

ZippyCameBack · 07/10/2017 10:29

My FIL was a very tall man. It was the one thing about him that people always remembered. So when he died, you'd think that the gravediggers (who knew him well) would have dug an appropriate-sized hole. Nope.
It was absolutely horrifying- we got to the part where the coffin is lowered into the grave, and it wouldn't go in- it was nearly a foot too long to fit in. Someone had to jump into the hole and make it bigger. My poor MIL looked like she was about to collapse.
After MIL died (just 6 months later) there was the usual brawl while MrZ's brothers fought over who got the house and land. They were gutted when they found out that she didn't actually own anything.

KateMiddletonsOtherMum · 07/10/2017 10:50

When I was still married to my EX"D"H, his uncle died. Uncle was a staunch member of the community with an OBE. The vicar stumbled through the eulogy and said that uncle had died in the local mental hospital, instead of the Memorial hospital. I was Shock but the family didn't bat an eyelid.

At the wake/cup of tea afterwards, people kept giving me strange looks. Eventually someone said "you've put on weight". I replied that I was 7 months pregnant to the ShockShock of the entire family as my in laws hadn't told anyone I was pregnant (married 6 years at that stage).

VanillaSugar · 07/10/2017 10:51

Is this going to end up in The Bum/DailyFail?

bianglala · 07/10/2017 10:54

BIL singing great balls of fire at crem for an uncle's funeral.

Original poster
Fishface77 · 07/10/2017 11:03

Fuck of daily mail!
Not real journalists frustrated walking CUNTS.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fishface77 · 07/10/2017 11:03

That should say WANKING CUNTS.

OP posts:
confusedlittleone · 07/10/2017 11:23

A friend died while we were all in school (18) the night before his funeral we all had a bit of a booze up with his brother and sister as well.... the brother ended up severely hungover and vomited into the hole just after the coffin had been lowered

Grimmfebruary · 07/10/2017 11:25

A cousin of mine's baby died and their PIL were escorted from the church by the police. They had been warned prior not to attend, turned up anyway and started shouting abuse. Vile humans.