Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu stingy man?

347 replies

Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 21:50

Had about 10 dates with him.
Paid for myself on each date (which is fine by me)
Tomorrow night he has invited me to his for a Mexican themed night (just me and him)
He said he is making some tacos and I said il bring some starters /wedges/dips,and a few little ready made cocktails.
He said he will buy some tequila for margaritas..then says shall we go halfs on the cost of the margarita ingredients?
I'm sorry but I think that's stingy?
Aibu?

OP posts:
mumsiedarlingrevolta · 06/10/2017 22:59

Just out of interest do you mind if I ask how old you are OP?

TBH I find this really petty-don't like meanness in anyone-boyfirned, friend etc-and if this is the early days when he is trying to impress I worry for what the future looks like.

You, on the other hand, seem lovely. Don't settle...

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 22:59

He is a housing officer for local council ...
In work in a bank as a cashier

OP posts:
Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 22:59

I'm 31 and he is 37

OP posts:
Fantasticmissfoxy · 06/10/2017 23:00

Jesus Christ almighty - bin bin bin!!
There is nothing attractive about meanness and this sounds next level! He will not change, can you imagine the misery of living with someone like that??

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:02

Nearly forgot we got a Indian takeout (halfys) but he made the rice as he says he begrudges paying for it at the Indian if he can make it

OP posts:
Puddlesy · 06/10/2017 23:04

If this is him making an effort what will he be like a few months in?

If you like him apart from this but think it's too early for "a chat" why don't you propse that you pay for one night and he pays for the next and gently teach him.

He might just not be thinking or because that's what he does with his friends (still tight but different with friends).

Puddlesy · 06/10/2017 23:06

Ah but Kelly - things like the rice is how people end up with healthy bank balances! :)
Yeah, the rice I'd take as a quirk, as long as he didn"t expect me to cook it.

Jaxhog · 06/10/2017 23:06

Yes, he's stingy! If he can't afford tequila, then he shouldn't be offering it.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:07

Il be honest and this is going to sound really really awful.
This is the first man I've dated in two years.
My ex hurt me and I really want to meet someone nice,and I hoped this would be it.
Plus last week bumped right into my ex with this new guy and seeing my Exs face a picture made me feel great..I'm not sure if I like this new guy..I'm trying but he keeps doing things (like this ) which put me off

OP posts:
Poisongirl81 · 06/10/2017 23:07

Mate. Ditch the card.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:07

Tbh his rice was nice

OP posts:
Tryingthisonefornow · 06/10/2017 23:07

Is it just possibly that he's bloody skint but still wants to enjoy an evening with you? Seriously folks, would you be miffed if your friend did the same?

I genuinely wonder how a man goes about dating if he doesn't have loads of cash! Should he never date because he can't afford to treat someone?!?

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:08

His just text saying his going to aldi in the morning to see if they do a cheap version Grin

OP posts:
Onecallaway · 06/10/2017 23:08

So he's charging you £12 and you have already spent £17 making it £29 to spend the evening in a house with a tight arse for a themed night just you and him (I would really hate that btw.)

tippz · 06/10/2017 23:08

STOP IT!

Don't settle for any old shyte just coz you haven't dated in 2 years.

Be more fussy. You deserve better!

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:09

He is deffo not skint ..he is always banging on how he saves £700 from his wages every month and he has just bought a villa in Bulgaria with his dad.

OP posts:
Winebottle · 06/10/2017 23:09

I think the host should pay.

I apply that rule to restaurants too. I don't like going halves. Invite someone where you can afford and pay for it.

Although, I tolerate being charged for accepting an invite to a restaurant, inviting someone to your house and then charging them for drinks is a new level of tightness.

tippz · 06/10/2017 23:10

Don't keep making excuses and saying 'yeah but this is good and that is good...' A tight arsed man is NEVER a good one to be in a relationship with.

tillytown · 06/10/2017 23:10

Go on the date! Eat everything, steal the alcohol, and update us throughout.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:10

With my ex we literally could sit on the sofa for hours just talking and I never wanted him to leave (till he was a twat)
With this one ..well I just don't feel it yet

OP posts:
Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:12

I might steal the tequila ha ha
Oh god ...about 3 weeks ago I stayed at his and the next morning he halved a fried egg sandwich because he didn't want to use a egg each .
Can't believe I forgot that example Grin

OP posts:
AtHomeDadGlos · 06/10/2017 23:13

YABU to have never had a margarita at the age of 31! Smile

Poisongirl81 · 06/10/2017 23:13

What! Halved an egg? What are you doing

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:13

I know ...I love cocktails too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 23:14

Well it was 2 slices of bread ..but cut it in half rather than fry another ..as in his words
"It's just too much man "

OP posts: