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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu stingy man?

347 replies

Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 21:50

Had about 10 dates with him.
Paid for myself on each date (which is fine by me)
Tomorrow night he has invited me to his for a Mexican themed night (just me and him)
He said he is making some tacos and I said il bring some starters /wedges/dips,and a few little ready made cocktails.
He said he will buy some tequila for margaritas..then says shall we go halfs on the cost of the margarita ingredients?
I'm sorry but I think that's stingy?
Aibu?

OP posts:
Clickncollect · 06/10/2017 22:35

@tippz best comment ever - thank you for the much needed laugh
OP, I don't think men should pay for everything but he should be embarrassed by his behaviour. Maybe suggest offsetting what you've already spent against what he has spent and see what he says.

clairethewitch70 · 06/10/2017 22:35

What a tight arse. Imagine what the future would be like with this tight git. I am all for paying my way but he takes the piss.

Aeroflotgirl · 06/10/2017 22:36

How blooming tight, he is showing you who he is. I would cancel and ditch him.

Aroundtheworldandback · 06/10/2017 22:37

Speechless..

thenightsky · 06/10/2017 22:37

Make sure you take the leftovers home... and that includes the alcohol.

Fanciedachange17 · 06/10/2017 22:38

Yabu to have gone on as many as 10 dates with this mean excuse for a human. Surely a smart lass like yourself could do a lot better for herself?

meltingmarshmallows · 06/10/2017 22:39

@nauticant haha cackling in bed at that thought.

meltingmarshmallows · 06/10/2017 22:41

YANBU. It’s really got nothing to do with dating or men vs women ... You offer to host someone in your home, it’s normal and polite to provide the food and drinks. Naturally as it’s his plan he could have made something for any budget but to bill you for half is absurd.

Not even getting started on the lack of margarita perpetration knowledge he’s displayed ... Lemon Hmm

Maelstrop · 06/10/2017 22:42

He's charging you for half a lemon? Blow me, run!

NewLove · 06/10/2017 22:43

Lime, not lemon - LTB for that...

Also is he paying half for what you have already contributed?

tippz · 06/10/2017 22:43

@clickncollect
best comment ever - thank you for the much needed laugh

Grin

Well I WOULD rather die alone than someone who wants to be paid half towards a fecking lemon!

As @KC225 said..... Being that mean is deeply unattractive. If he expects to go halves on a lemon it will only get worse.

Grin

Yep, meanness is such an unappealing trait. As has been said (many times, on his thread AND others,) no women wants or needs to be with a man who is tight with money, as you are going to be locked in a living hell when you have kids/finish work for a few years, and need stuff for the house and to pay bills etc, because he will make you beg for money (and probably pay half towards everything even though you have no income!!!) Confused

CoughLaughFart · 06/10/2017 22:44

Let's ignore the fact that you're dating for a second. Would you invite a mate around for dinner and ask them to pay for half of the ingredients? Would any of your friends do it to you? It's just bad form.

I'd suddenly be busy that night. I'm all for paying your own way, but I couldn't date someone who kept a running total of every drink.

clairethewitch70 · 06/10/2017 22:46

Watch he doesn't start charging for other things, like washing up liquid for washing your plates, cups of coffee in his house, sheet laundering, toilet paper sheets used. You can bet your bottom dollar he will be mentally calculating the cost of everything you use in his house, oh and half the cost of the electricity while you are there.

WhataHexIgotinto · 06/10/2017 22:49

Don't go. The fact he's a man and you've been seeing him is irrelevant tbh, if I host for people, I pay for it.

I have a 'night' every year just before Christmas and have done for the past 15 years. It costs me a bloody fortune but I wouldn't dream of asking my friends for money when I'm the one whose invited them round. He's a tightarse, bin him.

Gemini69 · 06/10/2017 22:50

ditch this cretin Flowers

SparklyUnicornPoo · 06/10/2017 22:50

Is he really struggling financially? DH and I used to split things like this when we were first dating because we were both really poor, we both new that was why though.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 06/10/2017 22:51

Fuck that, I would rather be single for life and die alone, than be with a tight fisted cunt

TESTIFY! 🙌

Idontevencareanymore · 06/10/2017 22:51

Run away now. Nothing good can come from a man who's that mean he wants to charge you for half the alcohol.

Bet he measures the bloody toilet paper as well.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 06/10/2017 22:52

I'd cry off, if I were you. It sounds like a joyless occasion.

lovechildofLordFarquaad · 06/10/2017 22:52

Of course YANBU OP, have never met anyone that tight and mean.

Does he have friends? Do they ever go to his place for dinner? And would he charge them?

Cannot imagine charging anyone I'd invited over for food or drinks. Surely he would go to yours next time and you host. Although, there probably won't be a next time as he's blown it by being so tight by the sound of it

NightmareMonkey · 06/10/2017 22:53

Totally stingy. What an asshole. Dump him.

NightmareMonkey · 06/10/2017 22:54

There should never have been any mention of money as he is supposed to be hosting smh...there are some arseholes about like ffs

LucieLucie · 06/10/2017 22:55

He’s a stingy bastard, someone like that sees you as a mate surely not a romantic interest.

If you shag him or give him any ‘services’ make sure you charge him WinkGrin

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 22:57

Well I was having him over mine next week and of course I wouldn't charge..just like if I have friends over il order us a pizza and get some alcohol..I wouldn't dream of saying that's £5.23p each ..I just wouldn't do it.
I'm probably the other end of the scale in regards to money ...
Some examples (probably shouldn't of went on anymore dates with him )
Went for food and he complained about the price then refused to get a dessert as they were £4.25
Went to the boating lake,hired a boat,put his £3.50 down and waited for me to pay the final £3.50.
Went to the Fair and asked for half of the dodgems ride...
We got ice cream and I asked could I try some of his flavour ..huffed and puffed I took too much

OP posts:
UserX · 06/10/2017 22:58

I dated one like this. If I invited him, I paid, but if he invited me, I paid half. Couldn't believe the £££ I saved once I ditched him.

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