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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu stingy man?

347 replies

Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 21:50

Had about 10 dates with him.
Paid for myself on each date (which is fine by me)
Tomorrow night he has invited me to his for a Mexican themed night (just me and him)
He said he is making some tacos and I said il bring some starters /wedges/dips,and a few little ready made cocktails.
He said he will buy some tequila for margaritas..then says shall we go halfs on the cost of the margarita ingredients?
I'm sorry but I think that's stingy?
Aibu?

OP posts:
MagicFajita · 07/10/2017 11:28

Telling him the truth would be doing him a favour.

I'd just tell him that I'm not feeling it and wish him luck with dating.

Enjoy your pizza op.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 11:41

He replied saying he would freeze the mince if he could but may have to eat some as he can't starve...didn't even say get well soon

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 07/10/2017 11:42

I also think you should tell him. If only to help the next poor, unsuspecting woman. If we don’t teach people how we wish to be treated, they will never learn.

GabsAlot · 07/10/2017 11:44

why did u tll hm that
say the truth he needs to know how stingy and weird he is

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/10/2017 11:45

He’s reallg not a nice man, is he?

SparklyMagpie · 07/10/2017 11:50

Well that says it all, not that any of us expected less so I'd just go ahead and tell him the truth ( I would have anyway) otherwise it's dragging it out

Gemini69 · 07/10/2017 11:52

oh my actual god he is fucking repulsive... kick him to the kerb Lady ...

LucieLucie · 07/10/2017 11:54

“Pity” has to be your only reply to that now @Kellyohojn

He’s definitely a few sandwiches short of a picnic isn’t he.

Runningpear · 07/10/2017 11:55

Tell him he's stingy as fuck, you will be helping him out, think of it as 'feedback' and maybe saving his next gf from the abomination of half an egg sandwich. I bet the stingy bastard thought about charging you for a squirt of ketchup on it ffs.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 12:02

Bloody hell, that reply tell you all you need to know about him. Dump and give him some home truths.

tippz · 07/10/2017 12:03

I knew it! I KNEW he would be shit in bed! Men who are mean with money always are. Selfish with money, selfish in the sack. Always!

And him asking you to darken your skin coz you're too pale?

What a nasty cunt. That would be it for me!

tippz · 07/10/2017 12:08

Just read the poems on the previous page. Brilliant. Grin

We shouldn't mock men with floppy willies, but this guy deserves it coz he's a twat.

AnnaleeP · 07/10/2017 12:08

You should deffo send him poisongirl's poem in reply

GrinGrinGrin

I can't believe you lasted ten dates with a guy who doesn't even make you laugh! Good luck with the next one.

TheNewSchmoo · 07/10/2017 12:14

Not wanting to hijack at all, but I'm so glad that you binned him off. Like you, I've been single a while and, if I'm honest with myself, have a tendency to flog a dead horse on the "new dates" front.

I went for one last week with an acquaintance ..... First up, he asked how much the curry was, then said "oh good it's one of the cheap ones" when told £9.95......we then had one drink each.... The bill came to £32.50. He got up to pay and stood by the side of me ( I was a bit surprised as he had said "let me take you out for dinner"), anyway, I gave him my card and he came back with a receipt for me for £16.50....... He'd put £16 on his and the extra 50p on mine. No tip - tight bastard.

He then asked me if I wanted to "sit in his van" with him where he attempted to feel me up like a teenager! I'm 46 years old. I told him to sod off and that I won't be repeating the experience. Old me would have been grateful and seen him again!

Apileofballyhoo · 07/10/2017 12:17

At least you have a CF story for the current thread. Spend your money on yourself because you deserve it and convince yourself you deserve someone who deserves you. Flowers

DJBaggySmalls · 07/10/2017 12:22

Dare you to text him ''btw my brother needs help, whats the best Reddit for dating advice?''

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 12:26

I think he knows it's over, hence the Luke warm reply.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 12:28

I think he's had many unexpected date cancellations, he's a pro.😂😂😂😂

SparklyMagpie · 07/10/2017 12:30

Hahaha Grin I can just imagine like the rejects on dinner date who sit down for their meal for one! Atleast he won't have to halve anything Grin

lostinpost · 07/10/2017 12:35

Has he had any relationships before? What kind of woman would date him long term unless a masochist?

Fruitcorner123 · 07/10/2017 12:39

As a previous poster has said the kind thing to do would be to tell him why you are calling it off. He has never had much success with women and it's obvious why. From what you've said he may think it's the sex thing and lose even more confidence in bed. If he knows its the tightness with money he might be a bit more generous with future dates and you might be doing him a massive favour.

If you can't do it to his face write him a carefully worded email. You are definitely doing the right thing not going tonight.

expatinscotland · 07/10/2017 12:44

'I've just sent him a text saying I'm not feeling great today then I'm going to do what a few posters have said and said in a few days
"I've been thinking about this and you seem like a nice guy but I don't think we are compatible,I hope you find someone better suited in the future"'

Tell him the truth! Why wait a few days? He's a cunt. The fake tan and sexy clothes, he's into porn (because he's too tight to get a real woman), and he's cheap. He was going to charge you for the drink ingredients and keep what whatever was left of your 'half' that you didn't drink.

'Wow! Not even a 'Hope you're okay and feel better soon.' How typical of you. Here's why you can't get a girlfriend: you want a blow up doll with a cash machine installed. You're tighter than a duck's arse, have the nerve to tell me to put fake tan on and wear porn clothes and you still can't get it up. Fuck off.'

ShowMePotatoSalad · 07/10/2017 12:46

IN my experience this will continue into your domestic lives if you become serious and start living together.

My ex once asked me for the £3-odd he'd spent on a pint of lager for me. At the time I was paying all the bills and rent because he didn't have a job. Absolute knob.

ShatnersWig · 07/10/2017 12:48

Sorry, but amidst all the shock and outrage at his behaviour (which is justified - although I do totally believe in splitting first and maybe second date before turns and inviting to houses start going on) I am more astonished at how someone genuinely puts up with this for TEN DATES.

Seriously? How do you get to the point that it takes that long to start wondering if this is acceptable or right or good?

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 12:49

I would have dumped him after his disgraceful behaviour at the fair, and certainly after he could not even give you a fried egg sandwich, that would have been curtains for me! Asking you to bring some of the food and drink for this evening, having the audacity to charge you £12 per cocktail, they are cheaper in Revolution, and professionally made.

I like men who are not afraid to put their hands in their pocket, though dh is careful with money, he is also generous to boot, and never ever behaved like this, if he did, it would have been the end very early on.