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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell the teacher that dd won't be doing the detention ?

377 replies

Wibblywobblyfoo · 06/10/2017 20:15

Dd came home from school tonight saying that she has been given an after school detention, to be done on monday, for missing a bit of homework that was meant to be handed in today. She went to her lesson and they were all asked for their homework. She told the teacher there was none and the teacher logged onto the online homework portal and showed them the set work, that she had set at 9.30pm last night!
Dd is 14 and was in bed at 9.30 last night. We also have a no computers after 8.30 pm for them all during the week.
Is setting the work that late reasonable?

OP posts:
TheJunctionBaby · 06/10/2017 20:57

My child would not be doing that detention. End of

youarenotkiddingme · 06/10/2017 20:58

I'm about to contact ds keyworker about similar.
They cocked yo his SMHW account and set him 2 but he only had log in and was checking the one he had already set up.
I emailed after 1st week. Ds has severe exectutive function difficulties so I said teachers must ensure it's written down or email me the homework.
Nothing other than the odd time a teacher did it.
Finally fixed a few days ago and he's now getting lunchtime detentions for missed homework he couldn't possibly know existed.
He has exams next week - all week and is stressed to the hilt.

Sometimes it's more a circumstance than a deliberate act of defiance and punishment isn't the solution imo.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 06/10/2017 20:59

I would usually back the teacher, but not on this occasion. Is she on a power trip?
I would get DD to do it over the weekend and hand it in on Monday.
Email the school, explain that your Dd could not have done the homework for today, as your home has a no computer rule form 8.30pm, That she has now done it and will not be attending detention.

ToffeeCaramel · 06/10/2017 20:59

It's unfair but you'd need to check the story with the teacher before the detention as if you just say she isn't doing it and she doesn't go and the teacher disagrees with what your dd has said about when it was set they might internally isolate her.

LynetteScavo · 06/10/2017 21:01

Some kids I know often do homework up until around 10-11pm at night (especially if they had activities in the evenings so it's feasible a couple did it

At my DCs school it's acknowledged DC may have activities in the evenings, so they are given a reasonable time to complete homework. In Y7/Y8/Y9 they have a whole half term...Y10 not so long, but at least a week.

Topseyt · 06/10/2017 21:01

Print off the page showing the homework and the time it was set.

Email a copy of it to the Head of Year and to the teacher concerned. Ask pointedly if this was really what happened, and if so ask how they can justify setting homework at 9.30pm and wanting it in the next day, issuing a detention if it isn't.

It is astonishing if it did happen that way and if so then I would advise them that whilst my child would do the homework in reasonable time, she would not be attending the detention because I considered it unfairly imposed.

Amanduh · 06/10/2017 21:02

This surely can't be true.

ToffeeCaramel · 06/10/2017 21:04

It does sound strange

DancingLedge · 06/10/2017 21:04

DC has done nothing wrong.
What kind of message would it send to allow them to be punished when they've done nothing wrong.
The issue here is to show they how to gracefully negotiate a situation where an authority figure is in error, and you're not going to go along with it, but are not interested in point scoring, but in sticking to your principles, while ending up with no face lost by anyone.

Tw1nsetAndPearls · 06/10/2017 21:04

Twinset, how do you expect the OP's dd to have done this homework if it was set at 9.30pm the night before it was due in? Unless you know something about time travel that's escaping the rest of us, of course.

This is the third time that I have said that this detention - as described by the OP - is unfair and wrong. I was talking about detentions generally. Most schools will have a home school agreement where you will have agreed to the school sanctions . If your child can't get home they need to avoid detentions

ScissorBow · 06/10/2017 21:05

The reason this is unreasonable is because if a child is lucky enough to have spotted it bang on 9.30pm that means at least half an hour plus of actually doing the work before being able to get ready for bed. Quite frankly I'm surprised even 2 managed it! YANBU

MrsDustyBusty · 06/10/2017 21:09

I think I'd tread carefully here, it's quite likely there was a mix up somewhere. I'd be quite disinclined to barge in swearing and throwing accusations just in case the issue wasn't on the teacher's side.

AprilLady4 · 06/10/2017 21:16
Shock
kali110 · 06/10/2017 21:16

Yanbu, at all.
This is wrong.
The fact that only 2 kids did it should have told the teacher this.
Majority won't be looking at homework at 930, they'll have already done it.
Absolutely none of those kids should be doing that detention.

Chattymummyhere · 06/10/2017 21:21

Yeah my child wouldn't be doing that detention.

Although I'm going to be that parent at secondary anyway. If you want to punish my child do it in your time not mine. I was never allowed to attended an after school detention and neither where my parents. Lunch time or break fine but after school hours nope.

echt · 06/10/2017 21:28

YANBU. Email the teacher and explain your no computers after 8.30, and the setting of the HW at 9.30. Give a hand-in date for the HW, and say your daughter will not be doing the detention. In order for your DD to avoid any possible comeback, say you do not wish this matter to be focussed with your DD, only with you. Do not copy in the HOY and definitely not the HT - that's for later, if you don't get what you want the first time. Do not mention the other kids, keep it focussed on your DD.

This looks like a cock-up, poorly handled by the teacher, but can easily be made good.

ToffeeCaramel · 06/10/2017 21:28

They might end up in isolation a lot if they don't go to detentions.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 06/10/2017 21:32

Are you sure that the supply teacher hadn't mentioned it the week before. Or that the date/time stamp wasn't the time it was last edited?
You need to get the teachers side as it sounds so unreasonable I can't see a teacher alerting parents to their gaff by issuing a detention frankly. If it is the case that the hw was issued at 9:30 for the next day I would complain.

PurpleMinionMummy · 06/10/2017 21:32

I would check with school whats happened

Verbena37 · 06/10/2017 21:37

This happened to us a few times with show my homework.....and because DS has SEND, I checked it twice daily to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I messaged show my homework help desk and they said they couldn’t check the time it was set.

Wibblywobblyfoo · 06/10/2017 21:37

The homework was not in there earlier in the day. The teacher put a note on the homework that clearly showed it had been added at that time. It was not mentioned in the class. Dd did not miss it. She did not decide to ignore it. I am totally sure about the fact it was not in the portal earlier.

OP posts:
BusyBeez99 · 06/10/2017 21:39

Our DS is in year 7 and his history teacher was off this week but they got told homework was online. It isn't. I've taken a screen print of the homework logged every day so he can prove it isn't on his screen. She's not in again until it's probably due. If he gets a bad mark or detention I'm not allowing it to happen as would be unfair.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 06/10/2017 21:40

How do you know that your dd didn't miss it being mentioned in class?

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 06/10/2017 21:46

Corbyn The answer to that is already in the thread. Kind of ironic really....

RedBullBlood · 06/10/2017 21:46

Seems unlikely that only 2 students would have done the homework if it had been mentioned in class, Corbyn.