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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the teacher that dd won't be doing the detention ?

377 replies

Wibblywobblyfoo · 06/10/2017 20:15

Dd came home from school tonight saying that she has been given an after school detention, to be done on monday, for missing a bit of homework that was meant to be handed in today. She went to her lesson and they were all asked for their homework. She told the teacher there was none and the teacher logged onto the online homework portal and showed them the set work, that she had set at 9.30pm last night!
Dd is 14 and was in bed at 9.30 last night. We also have a no computers after 8.30 pm for them all during the week.
Is setting the work that late reasonable?

OP posts:
existentialmoment · 06/10/2017 23:14

I would send a polite note saying that there has obviously been a mix up and that the detention is clearly in error and as such dd will not be attending in it.
Gives them the out of saying yes, it's a mistake.

fleshmarketclose · 06/10/2017 23:17

My dd wouldn't be doing the detention either. I agree with supporting the school but not when they behave unreasonably. I remember phoning and telling dd's PE teacher she wouldn't be attending detention when they decided that all pupils should have a PE kit with them every lesson, even if excused, without telling the pupils and then handing out detentions like smarties. It was one of the few occasions dd appreciated me, I think, as I was the only parent who objected to the detention.

roundaboutthetown · 06/10/2017 23:25

G1raffe - that's precisely my point... would any teacher put her entire class in detention for not doing a homework she only set late the night before?! It's ludicrous to believe without question that this is what the detention is for!

roundaboutthetown · 06/10/2017 23:28

Ifmthis is what the detention is about, then according to the dd, only 2 children in the entire class do not have a detention after school on Monday. I call bollocks.

Willow2017 · 06/10/2017 23:33

Raving
Maybe if you read the thread properly you wouldnt look so sad that you got it wrong either?

sailorcherries · 06/10/2017 23:36

I'm confused OP, the teacher was off on Tuesday but it was a missed lesson yesterday that the homework was then posted for?

Did the note say 21.30 or 9.30?

BlueSapp · 06/10/2017 23:37

After school detention is totally unacceptable, more often than not it’s the parents who end up punished as arranging for your child to get home at s different time is not possible for everyone.

sailorcherries · 06/10/2017 23:38

Also, I agree with the posters who say blindly believing such a ludicrous reason for detention is silly. You genuinely believe a teacher, who wasn't there, gave 25+ children after school detention because of homework?

DancingLedge · 06/10/2017 23:46

Homework detentions year 6??
Did I hear this right?
Yet another time I'm grateful my DC were at school when they were.

I am struggling to concieve of an instance when I would have agreed to a homework detentions in yr 6.

Remember childhood???. That time when our DC were free to grow and explore and enjoy?

RIP

Willow2017 · 06/10/2017 23:48

sailor
the homework was set last night as teacher thought the lesson today wouldnt cover it all.
she wasnt there on tuesday, they had no teacher tuesday, just a study hall period.

blackteasplease · 06/10/2017 23:50

I would go in and speak to them and take it from there.

ToffeeCaramel · 06/10/2017 23:52

It says in the op the dd is 14 not year 6. The boy in year 6 is a different child

safariboot · 06/10/2017 23:53

OP, assuming the facts you have are correct then you are damn well NBU. And if the school tries to defend the teachers standpoint, I'd consider organising with the other parents to take it further.

safariboot · 06/10/2017 23:57

sailorcherries, I can believe a teacher who's doing work themselves at 9:30 pm might set the homework piece to be handed in next day without really thinking about it. Or even set it out of a feeling of sour grapes, that if they have to work that late then so should the pupils.

echt · 07/10/2017 00:07

I can believe a teacher who's doing work themselves at 9:30 pm might set the homework piece to be handed in next day without really thinking about it. Or even set it out of a feeling of sour grapes, that if they have to work that late then so should the pupil

safariboot, I'm amazed you can entertain two such opposed suppositions, the first so rational, an error on the part of the teacher, the other ascribing malicious intention.

Threenme · 07/10/2017 01:00

OP please get HQ to change the thread title to "AIBU to believe my child is big liar and that the teacher who wasn't actually at the lesson, set this homework at the lesson, that remember, she wasn't at and not at 9.30 pm online despite seeing this with my own eyes"? Then all the people with these theories can answer an actual question rather than ignore the one you asked.
The level of disbelief on this thread that a teacher made a stupid decision is hilarious. People who weren't there are so sure what happened. I think there'd be less people aghast if dd had claimed the lesson the teacher missed was covered by a creature half unicorn, half duck!

Willow2017 · 07/10/2017 01:03

Threenme

That would make more sense Grin

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 07/10/2017 01:44

Lots of supposition that OPs dd and OP are wrong or liars,not paying attention from posters who have not bothered to read the whole thread.
One of the things that most annoys me about MN.

EduCated · 07/10/2017 01:48

Goodness. So many of the OP's DD's classmates on here. At least I assume some posters must be, given how much they appear to know about what must have gone on in the classroom Hmm

Ploppie4 · 07/10/2017 01:53

Teachers don’t get everything right. They are human like any other profession and make mistakes

Toadinthehole · 07/10/2017 01:55

Lol, I think there's two possibilities here.

  1. Teacher thinks (correctly or otherwise) that the work was set earlier (regardless of when it was put online)
  1. Teacher is having a nervous breakdown.

I think I'd be asking for the teacher's version of events before I decided anything.

If I couldn't find out in time I'd not make DC attend the detention and let the shit hit the fan if it turned out that the teacher was in the right.

KrytensNanobots · 07/10/2017 01:56

Sorry, I haven't read all the pages as need to go to bed.
Seriously though, is that what really happened? I have a 14 year old. --who sometimes is slack at getting his homework done- and if he doesn't do the homework, gets told by me to suck it up and get on with his detention.
This though? There must be more to the story. I say phones/laptops away approx 9pm so if the work isn't getting sent through to do until 9.30pm that means the teacher is assuming they're online on a school night to start their homework at half 9 for it to be handed in the next day.
Utter crap, sorry.

KrytensNanobots · 07/10/2017 01:57

Pressed too soon - definitely be ringing up school and speaking to the teacher to hear their version of events, as it more than likely will differ!

Threenme · 07/10/2017 01:58

I can read no moreConfusedGrin

NotBadConsidering · 07/10/2017 02:26

*Yesterday 20:21 IndianaMoleWoman

I wouldn’t undermine the school. Even if the situation is as it appears (which I doubt), the message to your DD is that she can come running to mummy every time she breaks school rules and be let off the consequences.*

Alternatively, she can break free of the British notion of seething quietly to one's self to avoid making a fuss, stand up for her rights and prepare her for a lifetime of petty-minded middle management jobsworths who will walk all over her if she lets them.

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