Parents who think rules don't apply to them

[mintinbox]

Just went to the harvest festival assembly at primary school where my kid was performing. The whole school was.

Announcement at the beginning no photographs or filming please turn your phone off.

Smug bitch in the second row filming the whole thing on her phone. A woman in front of her was caught taking a photograph and told not to by a member of staff (not made to delete it though) and said "oh I didn't know" of course you knew.

I have reasons for my child to be on social media with her school name attached and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the country who feels this way either.

Of course I didn't say anything to the filming mother as my child could be in a class with hers for years and so frictions are best avoided

I'm absolutely raging though.

Would i be ur to not allow my child to ever participate in school assembly's plays or anything like this again because of some selfish ignorant twat?

It's health and safety gone mad. Personally I couldn't give two hoots of another parent catches my ds on film whilst filming their own child at our school play. My ds is fully dressed, not placed in an inappropriate position and is just as "at risk" as all children are.

Pmsl, definitely a goady fucker as there is little chance someone this dim has figured out how to use the internet.

Mamabear
All children should be entitled to the same level of education and safeguarding as the other children in school. Being in plays and sportsdays is part and parcel of the school experience. Should I have been deprived of these memories because my father wanted to beat me?

I think it's unfair to not be allowed to take videos or photos and if schools are going to enforce this rule then they should video it themselves for parents to buy copies cheaply if they wish.
If children are at high risk and there a safeguarding issues then they would have to take care not to include that child in the film or not allow that child to take part of the risk is that severe.

Gilly - Starwars kid was a young man who used the school video camera to record himself doing amateur ninja moves with a broom handle. He forgot to delete it. It was seen by the next group of kids to borrow the camera. They uploaded it to you tube where it was subsequently viewed by millions of people. Think lots of variations where people put in light sabers etc.

Obviously it isn't the same situation at all but I use it to illustrate the fact that once something is in the public domain you lose control of it. Even the kids who initially uploaded the footage just wanted a laugh with their mates...they didn't expect it to go viral!

Just to add, my children's outstanding school manages events just fine without this rule and I assume anyone with an issue would come to an arrangement with the safeguarding officer.

Or, your school just has the come across this situation...yet.

Sorry,

just hasn't come across this situation...yet.

we can't allow our children to be in any school event where photos may be taken - sports day, harvest festival, xmas play, etc etc etc

our school do not have a photo ban

in our previous school they allowed parents to take photos but not put them online, this worked okay - after a few years came the phonecall I dreaded - your childs picture is online, we are working with the parent who posted it to have them take it down...

the damage was done, my childs face had been put out there - in school uniform - completely identifiable

we left the school immediately - moved house - left the area - 1 photo

so now, even if school said no photos, we'd be too worried, so our adopted children - who have lost so much already, now can't take part in any fun school stuff either - because some parents think their video is more important that children's safety

utter shit

Imustbemad00 ...or not allow that child to take part ...

So yet another poster who thinks their desire to have a video means my DDs should miss out on a standard school activity when they have already been so poorly looked after they had to be removed from birth parents, and have to suffer the emotional issues that their early life events have left them with (which will carry on right into adulthood).

Luckily schools have a policy where Every Child Matters, and guess what, that includes Looked After, Adopted, Fleeing from DV, etc children too, not just your special snowflake.

allthebest

I'm so sorry for your dc it must be really difficult for you all.
It is because of families like yours that children at my dd amazing school aren't allowed to be filmed, we are talking many of whom will become famous for their talent.
We aren't all selfish arse holes and you don't have to have experienced what your family have been through to show some empathy, and consideration for others.
This thread has really opened my eyes to the self centred twats, who are bringing their children up like this.
I think it's a small price to pay for a childs safety.
My sympathies allthebest

If children are at high risk and there a safeguarding issues then they would have to take care not to include that child in the film or not allow that child to take part of the risk is that severe

Yet another person who thinks their own entitlement is more important than safety and inclusivity.

My child has no safeguarding issues and yes we've missed out on videoing harvest or christmas. Does it actually matter? Not a jot because I am fucking lucky enough to be able to live our life freely and without fear. And THAT is worth 50 grainy videos taken in a school hall

Me too op. I'd have gone to a teacher to complain immediately. I'm a scary Beverley Goldberg...

Although Rosa is pretty terrifying too!

imustbe
Just to add, my children's outstanding school manages events just fine without this rule and I assume anyone with an issue would come to an arrangement with the safeguarding officer.
What do they do ?
That allows the kids to be perfectly normal when the parents are not there?

Because the system that Tweens and my school used
allowed the kids to be normal but still anonymous

anything that bans them from school events is just damaging them long term

Having read the accounts of real difficulty which some have been generous enough to share, it's interesting to see there's been no response from the couldn't care less / nobody tells me what to do posters

It would be nice to think they're perhaps reconsidering their views, but somehow I doubt it ...

allthebest
My huge sympathies
the selfish gits do not realise what real risk means

one of my clients was an "emergency childminder"
her views on social media were unprintable

Oh, and by the way, adoptive parents are equally sad that they also can't record their child starring in the school play (or just being the second sheep on the right).

But unlike your child, they also can't be in the local paper, or appear on twitter feed on a school trip, or go to a multi-school event run by local science company as the company wants the publicity, or ...

The number of fuckwits who appear to believe their right to wield their idiotic devices trumps child safety has convinced me that we need to introduce an entitlement to punitive damages for any child whose image is posted on social media without their parents' consent in writing. That would soon stop this idiocy.

Until this thread I had never realised that photo and filming bans might be to protect particular children from people they needed to be hidden from. It simply didn't occur to me.

I had thought they were mainly because the school wanted to sell its own video of the play (cynical old me) or because of a general concern about possible sharing of child images on the interweb for nasty purposes.

I have still always complied with any photo or video ban but more because I am not a photo taking or social media using person.

I agree with the pp above who suggested explaining to parents (in a generic way, no specific kids identified of course) why the ban is in place. Might well lead to higher compliance.

I'm speechless tbh.

Dear child I'm sorry your Dad beat the crap out of you or you saw your Mum beaten up or other abuse but you see darling you can't be in the school play and must sit in the classroom for weeks on end while the other kids practice each time because little Dora's Mum wants to share it with her 3000 friends from Juice Plus.

Fuck me...

Just to add the schools we have experience of have done as above.

I. E School have let parents take photos at the very end minus the kids who were in danger.

Or school have recorded it blurring out the kids who couldn't be in it.

No one cares if Joseph's face is blurred out. You're only looking at your own kids.

minipie
well done on you for owning up that you did not realise.

Out of interest

• as somebody who cannot picture the children at risk
• how do you think the message should be best put across to convince the largest number of parents for the least nosiness about the children ?

Because clearly the current approach has not worked
so what would work better?

I think they should be honest to a vague point.
I.e later home and reminder at the start simply saying we have children in school who can't be photographed for safety reasons and it distracts the children anyway but we will line up the kids and allow photos at the end.

Anyone who ignores that and takes photos and upload them is a twat.

How about something like "At times we have children in the school who would be put in danger if they are recognised in a photograph. Therefore we ask all audience members not to (take photographs/put any photograph on social media) in order to protect these children. I'm sure you will all appreciate that this is more important than taking photos. [Photos of your child individually will be available via xyz]"

Wouldn't work for parents who just don't give a shit of course, or those who think their own photos are more important (wtf) but might work for those who have not undestood the reason for the rule

dds Primary schools gave consent forms out at the start of the year, if everyone agreed photos would be allowed but dds yeargrouo always quiet a lot of people who didn’t give consent so had blanket ban on photos and ideas taken by parents and teachers would take photos of the children who’s parents wanted photos. For free.

It worked really well until dd was in y4 when a handful of reception parents felt it was a stupid rule so they don’t have to follow, headteacher backed it up and parents who tried to video were asked to leave.

Dd is secondary school now and they’ve just brought in blanket ban there too, They used to allow photos on condition they stayed offline but too many parents posted photos that they’ve spoiled it for everyone. Dd said many children had asked because they were peeved that they’ve chose to not have social media and post photos of themselves so don’t want other adults posting their photos. No idea if that played part in the blanket ban though.

Dh works away which means he’s missed performances, hes just said he’d rather not have a photo than either put a child at risk, or prevent them taking part in school life.