Parents who think rules don't apply to them

[mintinbox]

Just went to the harvest festival assembly at primary school where my kid was performing. The whole school was.

Announcement at the beginning no photographs or filming please turn your phone off.

Smug bitch in the second row filming the whole thing on her phone. A woman in front of her was caught taking a photograph and told not to by a member of staff (not made to delete it though) and said "oh I didn't know" of course you knew.

I have reasons for my child to be on social media with her school name attached and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the country who feels this way either.

Of course I didn't say anything to the filming mother as my child could be in a class with hers for years and so frictions are best avoided

I'm absolutely raging though.

Would i be ur to not allow my child to ever participate in school assembly's plays or anything like this again because of some selfish ignorant twat?

This thread is an interesting read. There is a poster at the moment in one of the education topics who is looking to raise money for the pta by filming and selling dvds.

Its already been asked if they can't just go ahead and do it even if all parents don't agree and also after explaining the risks the poster still looking to clarify what laws would be broken if they did.

And that is the reason I think there should be a blanket ban with photos taken by the school or linked up again at the end without the kids who need protecting.

The worst thing about this thread is the complete ignorance or lack of compassion by some, as to why photos/videos shouldn't be taken and shared. The "it's my child and I will do as I wish" comments absolutely astound me

I agree, but sadly that's the extreme to which some go in their utter selfishness and entitlement. It's also why, no matter how many messages are sent out, they'll never work for all

turned out he was a (genuinely) estranged grandparent. it all cooled down

Wouldn't that be just as dangerous/alarming? Kidnappings are by family or someone known 50% of the time.

Im so glad dd school isnt on the ban train
We trusted to use common sense, what a funny logic that is

squeek are you not embarrassed at being so bloody ignorant. Have you RTFT?

This thread has really thrown me. It's one of the very few I've read though and then wished I'd never read it.

Up until now, I genuinely thought DS would be safe at nursery/school as we've ticked the 'no photos' box and no parent would be so selfish, arrogant and lacking in compassion to flout the 'no filming' rule, surely? I now cant get it out of my head that, judging from the views of some posters on this thread, he isnt safe at all. I was literally lying in bed last night picturing the birth family spotting him on someone's social media and turning up to 'rescue' him. (We were warned many times on adoption training courses that this is a real possibility ; abusive and neglectful parents still often claim their children have been 'stolen' by social services and shouldnt have been adopted).

To give those who think parents like me are just being precious an idea of the risks LAC can face, on a recent hospital visit we were given a codeword rather than our home details and DS's full name being revealed on screen/called out in the waiting room. The authorities wouldnt do this if they didnt feel DS, like so many other LAC and exLAC, is a child who is potentially at risk and needs protecting.

As previous posters have said, adopted children and their families have had to be rehoused and change school following images of the child being placed on social media by another parent. Please, please think twice before you share images of someone else's children.

Rufus - please dont panic.
Like you our security risk is high and our childrens names cannot be called out in gp or hospital waiting rooms etc. I dont think people understand what that level of risk is actually like to live with.
We lived for several years before dc photo was put online - it was done so by another parent who ignored the 'no photos online' because "it was such a great shot to advertise the school x team' 😯
It was done with no malice, but with no thought either - despite the class parents knowing our dc was adopted as we joined partway through a year and couldnt hide it.

We moved immediately and few trusted parents now know our situation....but our kids miss our massively - kids starting to reherse for xmas play - our kids will not take part, no sports day as its filmed by many parents etc...we take the kids out of school for a treat AFTER the register has been taken 😉
BUT i shouldnt have to i know.
I count on only myself to protect these kids - reading this thread you can see why sadly!

Let's hope people read your post, Rufus, and wake up. As I said to those who think rules on filming etc are overkill- on child protection matters you do not know better than your school. Hopefully that's enough 'logic' for Squeek.

Allthebest Maireadplastic
Thanks for your reassuring posts. Really appreciate the fact you've responded.

There are around 80000 kids in care in the UK. There are around 24000 schools in the UK. So if you think this doesn't apply to your school, you're probably very wrong.

(This doesn't even include kids who have left care via adoption (about 4k a year) or those not in care at all but hiding from abusers or DV.)

allthebestkids06 so sorry you had to go through that.

Why are you so against filming? If your child is in hiding it would seem sensible not to let her be in shows that are watched by the public. It seems a shame that parents cannot film.
How selfish. So you think a child who has been adopted, or who is in hiding from an abusive parent, or their parents are in witness protection should not take part in school plays etc. Do you not think that their lives are traumatic enough without being excluded from plays etc? All because you cannot take a film of your precious little darling, a film if shown on social media could cause a child to be in danger.

My friends children are adopted and subject to no (school) photographs/ filming at all
This is part of a court order
So yeah the school has a no photo policy although parents can take photos of their own child at the end of the performance

'If your child is in hiding it would seem sensible not to let her be in shows that are watched by the public.'

You know, the things children remember most fondly from school are the plays and the trips. Are we really going to deny this to any child? JUST PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!!!!!!!!!

YANBU

Take a picture of your child in their costume before they go to school

You will always get some twatish parent who thinks the rules for whatever reason don't apply to them no matter how important the issue is and really this is extremely important for many children

As we have already seen on here

As we have already seen on here
Sad but true.
And it is a sad example that reflects what many teachers say on some teacher threads about how most of our negative encounters are with a certain group of parents who think rules don't apply to them/their children.
And on those threads you get people spouting yhe same anti teacher/school crap: what happened to common sense? X doesn't affect learning, i don't see the point in homework/uniform so they won't be doing a detention, I'm pissed off school put my child in isolation for missing a detention and it wasn't even theit fault because I TOLD them not to attend, it's so obvious here why people don't respect teachers because... schools think they're amazing but X is none of their fucking business, ooh careful on MN if you dare challenge a teacher you'll get murdered because everyone hero worships them like Gods in here (usually after multiple posters have said they are wrong/GF)

Popgoes
Re the Grandad, it was genuinely fine.
A big extended family had had a bust up at some stage in the past over very little (fuelled by alcohol) but nobody was willing to admit they had been a wazzock.
Once he turned up outside school it turned out they had all been wazzocks and a great deal of family tension defused.
That was 10 years ago and they are still all vaguely talking to each other

There are happy endings

But parents being pig headed about their right to film their kids NEVER helps

I must say reading this has really opened my eyes to just how serious it can be to put someone else's child online.

I'm so sorry to all of you having to be super vigilant because of others inability to think of others

Many missed the point lol Took way too much offence (makes sense as to why stupid rules needed i spose)

Common sense says you wouldnt post to social media, make public pics of others kids
Common sense says pics you want to post are of your kid only, others edited out or just taken of your own kid

Its sad common sense isnt more common and bans need to be in place. Im thankful we trusted to make good choices in our school community

I'm a great one for breaking stupid rules, but the ban on photos and videos is one of the most sadly sensible rules I've seen in a long time and I am frankly shocked at the people insisting, even when told of the dangers involved, on their right to film.

I do think it should be the children of offending parents who are banned from taking part in school plays and not the poor wee mites who have already had a difficult childhood.

I'm not sure the children of offending parents should,be excluded from the play - their parent's twatty behaviour isn't their fault. But if the parents themselves were faced with immediate ejection and a ban, maybe they'd think again.

You are right, SDTGi, ideally it should be the parents who are punished.

I always struggled to pick my own kids out on school group photos, my son had to get me to point him out on a school cricket team photo when we were looking at old school photos. I can't imagine being able to search through loads of photos from schools all over the country and finding a particular child. Is there some software that helps you do this or are photos loads better than in the past? I realise that isn't the point of the thread but it just puzzles me.

I think parents should be ejected from performances with a no photo/filming rule, if they attempt to break the rule.

Is there some software that helps you do this or are photos loads better than in the past?

Generally the issue is with pictures parents have taken on their phone, or with pictures printed in the paper with a name below. If that parent puts their picture on facebook, which may have information on their child's school elsewhere, and happens to have whoever isn't meant to see that child as a friend it's dangerous. With papers it'll come up by googling the name.

Imagine that your children have a parent in the armed forces, serving on operational tour and they’ve been warned that there is a high security threat to their dependents back home. A list of names has been acquired by the enemy and personnel have been told not to allow photos of their kids to be published anywhere.

Now imagine how you would feel when you see your child being filmed or photographed in assembly.