Parents who think rules don't apply to them

[mintinbox]

Just went to the harvest festival assembly at primary school where my kid was performing. The whole school was.

Announcement at the beginning no photographs or filming please turn your phone off.

Smug bitch in the second row filming the whole thing on her phone. A woman in front of her was caught taking a photograph and told not to by a member of staff (not made to delete it though) and said "oh I didn't know" of course you knew.

I have reasons for my child to be on social media with her school name attached and I'm sure I'm not the only one in the country who feels this way either.

Of course I didn't say anything to the filming mother as my child could be in a class with hers for years and so frictions are best avoided

I'm absolutely raging though.

Would i be ur to not allow my child to ever participate in school assembly's plays or anything like this again because of some selfish ignorant twat?

At DCs school there was a specific child protection issue for a while.

Anybody filming / taking pictures during the show found a member of staff standing right in front of them and was asked to leave.

After the show EVERYBODY was allowed to take whatever pictures they liked
because the kids in question had been quietly whisked away.

It worked really well

the kids in question are now adults and pretty well adjusted

A few years ago I would certainly have said that the rights of the child not to be filmed outweighed the rights of others wanting to film. Unfortunately we are no in an age where everything is documented, filmed, uploaded to various platforms for people to gawk at. That being the case I'm not sure it's so simple anymore.

The kids themselves are likely to have their own social media presence, so even without an adult taking a video there's every likelihood that images and videos get posted from the school bus, lunch queue or just any time they're together. Social media makes the world a lot smaller, it takes on distant relation on a child's social media to like a post and then for someone else to recognise a child in the photo and it's a snowball effect.

With that in mind times are changing that maybe it will need to be down to the individuals being filmed that they prevent that filming happening, or side step an event or situation where they're likely to be filmed.

It strikes me too that in this day and age it's highly unlikely that if someone really was setting out to find someone that they wouldn't be able to do it.

All that said the parent should have taken on board the rules. Perhaps a half way house would be better that parents agree that any photographs or videos are only shared within the household of the child (likely to know the other children anyway maybe?) it might even be possible to enforce it through some sort of civil penalty (like private parking charges and littering fines etc).

Whatever happens I think it's a much bigger issue than just one school and needs to be a wider public debate. Just my two cents.

I would just point out that a teacher, a mother who is feeling bad enough to have to work full time, and plenty others will never see any of their children perform.

And some mothers have to worry about the fact that they and their children's lives could be threatened.

DH and I are both teachers. Neither of us were able to watch DD1's first nativity play last year. It was sad to miss it, but I'd rather not have a video of DD than put a child in danger. That's a no brainer.

Every parent I know films and take photos at these things (as I will). I see loads on Facebook too. A family member (social worker) allows no photos to be taken of her son (she has removed kids from their parents and believes people may want to harm them. I genuinely feel sorry for the kid. No one knows what he looks like. He's none existent on the dad's fb. He probably stands our like a sore thumb at school too because she's forbidden him from any "risky" activity
This is too funny

I hate to break it to some of you, but watching a child's school play on video is one of the most mind numbingly boring things ever. No one really wants to see it, not even the GPs.

I would have to imagine that these are the same parents who think the white zig-zag lines mean Reserved for me and my precious snowflake.

XP Mrsemcgregor but oh lord, how right you are. Worse than other people's holiday photos.

If a child is harmed as a result of photos being put on social media by parents contravening the school’s policy, the school should call it out. Mrs X facilitated a pupil to be kidnapped/murdered/abused because she took a photo of her despite being told not to by the school and circulated it on social media.

I see you are still frothing yourself into frenzy Deadgood

Would i be ur to not allow my child to ever participate in school assembly's plays or anything like this again because of some selfish ignorant twat?

Yes you would. Make sure the school enforces the rules properly.

I used to hate this in DCs primary. Putting aside the safeguarding issue of it, I'm a shortarse, I used to be one of those parents who's sit back and enjoy the show 'in the moment' and not used camera phone etc. Bit difficult to do though when the rows in front start standing up to video their DCs and you can't see a bloody thing of the show in the end.

It might help to analyse the risk, how many children have been identified via Social media ? Surely unless the child s name is tagged its unlikely they could be identified anyway or do abusive parents search every school photo on FB

"I hate to break it to some of you, but watching a child's school play on video is one of the most mind numbingly boring things ever. No one really wants to see it, not even the GPs."

Agree with this too

It might be helpful for the school to video a dress rehearsal which does not show any children whose parents have not given their consent. These could then be sold on DVD for a small fee to fundraise with a condition that if any footage finds its way onto social media, then that person is barred from attending any future performances.

Child protection is paramount, but nevertheless it is sad that these memories can't be saved for the future.

I would take this to the head and even the the county council or social services. If it is directly endangering your child then the process for informing parents of no filming or even bringing their phones onto school property need to be looked at.

netflix
Child protection is paramount, but nevertheless it is sad that these memories can't be saved for the future.
I have the DVDs of my daughters dance shows.
Even she now finds them crashingly dull.

Just watch the damned show and then take a picture at the end.

I think the no photography thing is really annoying. It's all a bit precious

If a child is harmed as a result of photos being put on social media by parents contravening the school’s policy, the school should call it out. Mrs X facilitated a pupil to be kidnapped/murdered/abused because she took a photo of her despite being told not to by the school and circulated it on social media.

RavingRoo, are you trying to be funny?

I happen to agree with posters who have said that whatever policy the school adopts, it is likely to be ineffective; it is very very hard to keep threatened children safe in this new world of social media.

Having said which, I am beyond pissed off by the flippant and callous attitudes displayed by some on this thread about the risks facing children like mine. I'm a working mother, I have missed lots of my children's stuff at school - it hurts. But that doesn't come close to being as important as keeping children safe.

Why thank you, Lethaldrizzle, I prefer to think of it as taking sensible precautions to keep my children safe - but I don't suppose you know or care about the risks some children face?

Lethaldrizzle
Yes, so precious to try and protect children in care from dangerous people. So, so precious.

I hate parents that do this. It's so selfish. Not everyone wants their kids on social media.

Is it Goady Fuckers day??

Is it Goady Fuckers day??

Looks like it from this thread tbh!

I think the no photography thing is really annoying. It's all a bit precious

The "no photography thing" isn't "precious" here. It's part of a risk assessment I HAVE to do EVERY TIME for a child who has such severe risk to their wellbeing we have a "panic strategy" in place in case an incident occurs where their life is at risk.

Which would you rather have? A no photo/filming ban and a photo we provide you with of your child only or substantial risk to another child?

Some very selfish and entitled people on here.

I always record dd at school thing, its no problem at her school, I don't post any of it on social media though, there's no need. However if the rule suddenly changed I'd have no problem with it. I completely understand why some children can't be recorded.

The childs' safety is more important than my photos, I'm astounded anyone feels differently.

There's a trend in the wedding world for ceremonies to be unplugged

Everyone filming or photographing an event is shit. Watch the person you love get wed, sing, pick their nose with a tea towel on their head, whatever, without a lens between you and them. Enjoy it as it happens and don't spoil the experience for those who are able to lift their faces from a smartphone for half an hour.

Don't be a cunt, basically.