To think that this teacher should not have told-off a pupil on the bus

[Bookaboo]

Couple of hours after the end of school, a few kids on the bus and a guy who happens to be a teacher at their school.
The teacher stopped one lad , who was probably only in year 7, and started grilling him about why he had no tie on. Told him to see him at break tomorrow for detention, but the kid was on his way home & was doing no harm.
I felt really sorry for the kid & felt like the teacher was just being an asshole.
If that was my son in a few years I wouldn't want him to be treated like that. I know that schools have an image to uphold etc.. but jut couldn't help thinking that stuff like this makes kids feel miserable about going to school.

I have been into school repeatedly about bullying that was happening to my DD. There reply was that most of it (not all) was happening out of school, so they said they could do nothing. In my mind a detention for the main culprit, after school, would have solved the problem beautifully, but they would could not do that.

I would go batshit if they then went on to punish my DS for not wearing his tie on the way home from school.

Whilst the kid is wearing partial school uniform his behaviour and appearance reflects on the school

Seriously, 2 hours after school finished for the day, nobody cares whether the student looks smart or not. They may care if someone is obnoxious on the bus, or starts bullying someone or giving a sales assistant lip or whatever. But they care not a jot about a tie being worn.

I gave the example earlier on of going to the dentists after school. I'd be pretty flummoxed if a teacher came up and demanded to know where ds' tie was.

Another example would be swimming. While he generally gets changed before we go, sometimes he keeps his school uniform on (as do many of the kids who go, both primary and secondary age) but he doesn't bother with his tie. When he comes out he sometimes doesn't bother wearing a jumper, either. I don't think I'd quite know how to react if a teacher came up to us in the leisure centre car park and asked where his tie and jumper were (mind you, by that stage you can no longer tell what school it is as his trousers and shirt are generic M&S ones).

I don't think there is a direct correlation between strict uniform and academic success looking at the local private schools, which are both in the top 10 in the country - given the number of girls who don't appear to wear skirts and the boys whose standard look is black jeans and a crumpled shirt sometimes with a chewed tie somewhere about. They still seem to get 4x A* at a-level though.

I'm becoming increasingly sceptical of the trend for school uniform. I never wore one at primary school but there are no primary schools in my borough that my child can get into which don't have a uniform (There are two but we aren't in the catchment). My child is now 3 and runs round the house in their pants most of the time, but from this time next year at aged 4 will have to wear a shirt and tie. How much practice in wearing a tie do they actually need?!

artisandraftbeer You are right, no correlation has ever been shown.

In fact I would go a step further and say that I think the British education system would immediately improve if no one was allowed to regulate (or even mention) clothes in school ever again.

Couldn't agree more, claraschu.

A student I teach is a fairly recent immigrant to Australia, about two-three years. They are pretty bemused by the whole uniform thing, pointing out that it doesn't exist in most EU countries, and plain clothes, while they do mark the money, are more likely to excite sympathy than jeering. Also, of course, wealth is still conveyed by other means in uniformed schools.

If the UK has it bad then Au goes to Stalky and Co/Malory Towers extremes in uniform battiness. And so expensive. The state schools "have" to keep up with the private ones to maintain status/comparability.

I should have said "plain clothes that indicate less money status".

I think that countries with no uniform actually have less of a problem with kids judging each other for clothes, because clothing actually becomes less of an issue. I am thinking of my school in NYC and my friends' kids' schools in Holland, France, and Germany. English kids definitely seem more obsessed with clothing and brands (though I don't know if uniforms directly cause this, or if both are symptoms of something else).

How much practice in wearing a tie do they actually need?!

A four-year-old having to wear a tie every day is totally and completely bonkers.

You said in your OP that he was on his way home
No, the OP said it was a couple of hours after the end of the school day, and said nothing about whether he was wearing the rest of his uniform.

I'd love to know how many of the parents who breezily talk about "choosing" schools are rich enough to actually have a choice, or to "simply" change school if they don't like the one DC is at, and how many have to put up with whatever they can get - or have their DC at what was an ok school until it was forced to become the Costco Free Academy, with a new broom principle who seems to think he's in charge of a cross between the 3rd Rifles and HMP Belmarsh.
I have thankfully not experienced the latter, though I was less than impressed with some details of one DC's school "experience". Not enough to write an AIBU, though.

brother

I wonder the same

My dcs go to the only school in the village

I love the don't like the rules find another school brigade. Where do you people live ? Is there 3 school places for every child there ?
In the real world most people are lucky to get their catchment school so liking the rules is irrelevant unless you consider home schooling an option which the majority don't.
I look forward to the generation of instruction followers and sheep we are bringing up, God forbid they question a ridiculous rule and question it's worth.

After school he can mind his own fucking business

Nice.

And yet not the case. Schools deal with a lot of crap out of hours.

Parents absolutely do want a school with tight discipline - except for their own child. Where their own child is involved they expect another chance, understanding etc. Rules are absolutely fine to be enforced as long as it’s someone else’s child.

The rule is utter bollocks

That is my opinion. My employer does not try to tell me what to wear outside of work (or even at work, come to think of it).

There could be more to this, otherwise I can't see why a teacher would bother doing thism

My 2 pence: Reasonable only if the uniform has other marks that identify the school. And even then, it still feels like the teacher is poking their nose into the pupil's personal life. Otherwise without the tie the kid can't be said to be 'representing the school' since nobody who doesn't know him personally will have a clue which school he goes to.

Cauliflower What on earth are you talking about? The OP is complaining about a rule which was being enforced on a child she doesn't know.

Clara, I am aware of that, thanks. Just making a point about what another poster said. If you can’t follow that then ignore.

I still think that most teachers wouldn't do this of the child was with their parents, which means they know it is inappropriate and overstepping.
Any teacher who would approach a child who was with their parent, clearly isn't modelling good manners, since they think undermining parental authority is a reasonable thing to do.

I wouldn't go into school and start telling the head teacher how to conduct their business during the school day, unless there was a serious issue impacting my dc, so it is unreasonable for a school to expect to control what happens when the school day is over!

I went to an all girls grammar school and we had all sorts of weird rules like not being allowed to be seen to be drinking out of drinks cans with our uniform on. To bad for them that I regularly smoked cigarettes whilst wearing mine!

Raving roo - I work in a professional job and suits/ties aren't necessary work wear for the men I work with. That is outdated now and frankly ridiculous. No adult male would have their boss telling them off if they spotted them on the train on their way home without their tie on.

Blimey you should come to my office! They are strict about office wear.

In one place I worked a junior was told to get a haircut as it was collar length at the back. I've been pulled up a couple of times too over the years (mainly trousers issues) and always keep a jacket and heels in the office in case.

Some industries really like that. When I worked for a charity if I wore a dress they assumed I was going for an interview!

No adult male would have their boss telling them off if they spotted them on the train on their way home without their tie

Nor would they expect the boss to intervene if they were picked on while travelling home from work, though teachers are expected to intervene. One is an employee, the other isn't so different rules apply.

I really wonder about the kind of person who remains on duty after home time, ever vigilant for petty infringements of rules. If I was that teacher I'd spend 30 minutes tidying up my pens after school so I didn't have to share the bus with my pupils. If by some horrifying chance I found myself with them I'd slink really low in my seat.