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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that this teacher should not have told-off a pupil on the bus

243 replies

Bookaboo · 05/10/2017 18:36

Couple of hours after the end of school, a few kids on the bus and a guy who happens to be a teacher at their school.
The teacher stopped one lad , who was probably only in year 7, and started grilling him about why he had no tie on. Told him to see him at break tomorrow for detention, but the kid was on his way home & was doing no harm.
I felt really sorry for the kid & felt like the teacher was just being an asshole.
If that was my son in a few years I wouldn't want him to be treated like that. I know that schools have an image to uphold etc.. but jut couldn't help thinking that stuff like this makes kids feel miserable about going to school.

OP posts:
DeleteOrDecay · 05/10/2017 19:15

but it prepares boys for professional life

Bollocks does it. What jobs do you know where your boss would reprimand you over removing a tie on your way home from work?

It’s a silly rule and yes the teacher was probably just following said ‘rules’ but that doesn’t make it any less of a silly rule.

YourDaughterHasATattoo · 05/10/2017 19:26

It prepares students to wear a uniform. Every profession that requires you to wear a uniform has disciplinary procedures for if you wear it incorrectly. It brings the institution it represents into disrepute, be that a nursery, a tile fitter, an army officer or a nurse. So yes, it does prepare them for professional life delete.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 05/10/2017 19:29

It's an idiotic rule. It's hardly going to encourage respect and cooperation.

frumpety · 05/10/2017 19:30

If the child doesn't like the rules and complains to the parents and they agree , they have the choice to find another school . I am not saying I agree with the rule , but it is a rule that would have been known about when said child joined the school , therefore if the parents don't like it , they can move their child . What they cannot do is expect the school to change a rule to suit their offspring , that isn't how it works , at school or anywhere in real life really Smile

ShovellerDuck · 05/10/2017 19:38

Twelve year old children don't need to be preparing for working life. I don't know a single man who wears a suit and tie to work. How about nylon overalls for the girls to prepare them for the checkout in Tesco's?

Fekko · 05/10/2017 19:43

Just a tad sexist there, wouldn't you say?

BuddingGardener2017 · 05/10/2017 19:45

It's the principle of the tie, rather than the tie itself imo - anyone who works outside of their home has to conform to a dress code at work whether they agree with it or not. Without being there, I can't say if the teacher "humiliated" anyone so YABU to ask us to decide that.

FenceSitter01 · 05/10/2017 19:46

All of my childrens schools were strict on correct uniform to be worn to and from school ie - if you are identifiable via logo etc, then full and correct uniform is to be worn as you are the schools ambassador. I know it's not fashionable at the moment in some quarters to encourage any respect for teacher, or adults in general, but people know the rules and regs when they fill in the application form.

Heathen4Hire · 05/10/2017 19:47

If school has been over for a couple of hours...The teacher has no business telling the boy off. It's his time, not school's.

YourDaughterHasATattoo · 05/10/2017 19:53

To repeat heathen if the boy was bullying others should the teachers not investigate it because it’s in “his own time”? You can’t pick and choose which rules the teachers can enforce. Either they can or they can’t...

PerfumeIsAMessage · 05/10/2017 19:54

Ta muchly Shoveller but my daughter then perhaps needs to wear a stethoscope or carry her pHD papers around with her at all times.

Fuxache.

tethersend · 05/10/2017 19:54

I don't know how the teacher could be bothered. I used to teach at a PRU and dreaded being called 'Miss' by one of the kids on the bus who was invariably doing something annoying.

My fondest memory was of one of my year 9s who spotted me sitting on the bus as he walked alongside it, ran over, opened the emergency door and jumped over all the horrified passengers shouting 'Alright Miss!' Grin

No tie. Pffft.

YourDaughterHasATattoo · 05/10/2017 19:56

shoveller why not? It’s not as if we’re about send them down a mine, just helping them get into good habits. I see plenty of posters on here complaining that parents haven’t prepared their partners and husbands to manage a home properly. I teach my children to care for their things, to take pride in their belongings and the image they present of themselves. Theyre 7 and 4. It’s far easier to get into good habits than it is to try to unlearn bad ones and then new ones

MaisyPops · 05/10/2017 19:57

Personally, it's a daft rule.

But people who are raging all 'it's none of your fucking business', I take it if yout child gets pushed on the way home, school can say 'not our problem' and if there's social media issues we should ignore them. After all it's none of our fucking business what happens out of school. I lose track of how many times i explain to parents that really we can't do anything about THEIR child does on THEIR phone when they were at home with THEM.

Though seriously, any time someone goes for the 'eeh it's none of your fucking business' route i just humour them

Oldraver · 05/10/2017 20:01

I cant be doing with the 'prepares for working life' shit. DS's primary pulled this bollocks and as I was reading the condescending letter that was wittering on about 'preparing them for workplaces where a uniform would be the norm'...all I could think was ...well they may be a teacher.

Teachers at DS's primary could barely look tidy I used to be regularily greeted with the outline of his teachers teachers fanny lips

IceMagic · 05/10/2017 20:10

To be fair JonSnow it doesn't sound like the teacher in your meeting started grilling your dd about why her button wasn't done up and told her to see her at break for detention like the teacher in the op.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/10/2017 20:11

A detention for a tie removed on the school bus sounds OTT to me.

The teacher sounds like a power tripper that can't resist exerting his authority even on a bus. Why not just ask him to replace his tie?
No need to attract lots of attention from the public and make a scene on the bus.

DeleteOrDecay · 05/10/2017 20:15

It’s a bit of a leap to go from not wearing a tie outside of school to bullying outside of school. Bullying is causing significant harm to another student and will likely affect the student both in and out of school, not wearing a tie is harmless in comparison.

I can see why the teacher felt he had to enforce it but it was 2 hours after school and a detention is excessive. A polite reminder would have sufficed. I’ve seen people fresh out of the office sat in a bar with top buttons undone and shirts untucked. Some wearing lanyards indicating where they work. Imagine if their bosses came up to them and issued a formal warning for not wearing correct uniform outside of work hours.

Ionalovebead · 05/10/2017 20:15

This is precisely the issue of lack of respect.
Where I went to school, you were a school representative in that uniform. You had to be immaculate at all times, and be out of the uniform by a certain time.

If you were caught looking unkempt, you were punished. Caught in uniform after hours, your parents needed to explain. Children and parents heeded the rules unquestioningly.

Then again, we respected the school, the uniform and all staff within the it. No one felt the need to unnecessarily question or challenge school rules.

MaisyPops · 05/10/2017 20:16

No need to attract lots of attention from the public and make a scene on the bus
We don't know it was a scene.

I've seen students in nearby shops being silly and loud around half an hour after school. I've told them nicelu to settle down and 99% of the time they do. To be honest, most of them see the 'stricter' staff and tend to self regulate anyway because they aren't daft.

BitchQueen90 · 05/10/2017 20:19

Sounds ridiculous IMO. If it's outside of school time then it's not necessary. This "representing the school" business I mean, if you saw a child not wearing his tie on the bus would you be offended and ring the school up to complain? Hmm

There's a difference between not wearing a tie and teachers not getting involved in serious incidents outside of school time fgs. Having your tie off isn't hurting anyone.

IceMagic · 05/10/2017 20:19

I'm wondering if the teacher was at the end of his tether after a really stressful day. Surely it would have been better to have a word with the boy the next day about expectations rather than causing a scene on the bus.

wanderings · 05/10/2017 20:19

My school often gave us the mantra "the rules apply from the moment you leave your front door, to the moment you return to your front door."

My parents (not that there were any problems with that) would mutter that something like that would never stand up in court.

TheGuffalo · 05/10/2017 20:20

This is the sort of shit that makes me sad I have to to send my children to school in England. They aren’t in class, the school can fuck off. God forbid a child not wear a fucking tie.

Equally depressed by the posters on these threads who claim rules must be obeyed no matter how ridiculous.

TheGuffalo · 05/10/2017 20:21

Also I’d think less of the school after seeing a teacher go off on a power trip on the bus. Not sure that’s what the school were hoping for with the rule.

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