To ask what is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you in a doctor's surgery?

[leaveitaloneforgodssake]

Someone has to make me feel better.

Today I had to go for a gynae exam. The doctor put the speculum thing in and was twiddling about for some minutes. She then asked if I had any contraceptive device fitted as something seemed to be 'in the way' of my cervix. I said no, I use a diagram but I always take it out......oh. No, it's still there. From about about a week ago (which is obviously why I had completely forgotten about it.) Ewwww. Doctor looked at me slightly bemused as I quickly removed the offending item. Two nurses were standing there too trying not to crack up. I have never felt so mortified.

I realised after a doctor's appointment about contraception that my phone had accidentally made a speakerphone call. To my work.

Ouch!
I don't think I can top that! The only thing I can think of is when my then 2 year old made a break for it in the waiting room. I didn't grab him quickly enough. He shot off across the shiny floor, slipped, fell over backwards and screamed the place down.
Thankfully for all present I was called in immediately, but trying to talk to the doctor with an inconsolable toddler was hard.

Katiegg no! Couldn't they offer you another doctor or nurse?

Consultant checking my spine, I stepped backwards and bummed him in the groin.

First ever pelvic exam because of abnormal bleeding. I was nervous and my GP was dashing. Just beautiful.
He told me to relax and then said "there's a good girl".

I laugh snorted and my lady parts tried to steal the speculum.

Not mine but wasn’t there a poster who called her child a Whiney tinker... but mispronounced it as tiny wanker?

Makes me laugh years later.

Had a smear test and the next day I attended a formal dinner for work, where I was making a speech. Guess who was sat opposite me all through dinner? The Dr from the day before. I don't think he recognised me.....

The string snapped on my tampon when I was 22 and had to have it removed. Doc said in his 40-odd year GP career I was only the 2nd person that had ever been to him with this issue. I wanted to die of shame when he yanked it out. I've never touched Lil-lets since!

I also had a LETTZ procedure to remove precancerous cells from my cervix. A couple of days after the procedure I then rapidly developed a VERY nasty infection. I smelled like rotting corpse 'down there'. I was rushed in to see GP for an emergency examination, and I wanted to die yet again when she had to open all the windows (In November!) to air the room out of my over-powering rotting flesh stench, and then had to spray air freshener after I'd gotten dressed again. GP was actually very nice about it as I apologised profusely, but I was so embarrassed.

Ghouls, that reminds me of after my hysterectomy. I'd developed an infection with BV on top. I had to have a swab taken. The nurse actually retched and then opened the window.
I would have felt deeply embarrassed, but was too ill at the time.

When I was first fitted for a diaphragm, the nurse left me with it for a few minutes to practice getting it in and out. She pulled a curtain across so I was hidden from the corridor as she left the room. But while I was squatting frog-like, knickers round ankles, trying to catch the springy bugger and wrestle into where it should be, another nurse just wandered in through the other door I hadn't noticed behind me and was greeted by my jiggling white arse and a sweary diatribe from me.

She apologised, then giggled and said "you really need a sense of humour with a diaphragm, don't you?"

I nearly threw it at her.

Having a catheter fitted in hospital by a distant colleague and a medical student. How colleague got to be on an acute gynae ward I've no idea. He barely knew his stuff on my ward. I should have thought when the student reminded him to wear gloves!!

I have a couple of abnormalities - minor but makes catheterization very difficult. Things arent exactly in the 'right place'.

The doctor loudly shouted - 'what's wrong with your downstairs then, the nurses said it was strange, I have no idea what I'm looking at' ! This was during visiting time .. the medical student took over after he said he was going to 'poke around , you tell me when the catheter is in'. Popped one in that was 3 sizes up from my usual.

After he was done he took off whistling , the student helped me get dressed and changed my bed etc. Opened my curtain and next door's entire extended family were silent and looking at me. Horrendous evening. If I was able I'd have gone home!

About a week after having DD i didn't feel right as it felt like something was pushing out. So GP tells me to undress for the exam, I did and he said "oh yes, looks like a small prolapse" and told me to cough. I did and darted right in his face .

Farted.

I was also given a good shot of oramorph 10 minutes before a pelvic exam/scan/catheter a few months ago - I was off my face . The doctor kept shaking my leg to wake me up again when she wanted to ask another question. Two if her colleagues came in halfway and I remember saying 'come one come bloody all' !!

Oh no! Non gynae related but I went to my local GP about a chest infection and realised that we were medical students on elective together many years ago. He remembered that we got wasted together and I stole his jumper

After my DS difficult birth I had to go to theatre and I threatened an anaesthetic consultant colleague that if he gave me a GA I'd have his registration. Mortified.

In the very full, very quiet waiting room toddler son looked up at me with angelic eyes and announced in a very loud voice "mummy I heard you do a big trump then, eww you really smell".
I had not, but on protesting, lots of sniggering from fellow waiting room folk ensued.

Tiny wanker kid.

my boss did my epidural when i was in labour with ds1 and i instructed not to fuck it up and that if he dared give me a shoddy epidural i'd report him

I do hope you work in medicine and not in a standard office. Bit of a challenge for your boss there if so.

Doctor and nurse trying to fit me with a coil. Now, according to a gynaecological surgeon (who I saw quite some time afterwards) I'm one of the physically smallest women 'down there' he's ever seen.

This original doctor in the GP's surgery makes a valiant effort at trying to get the coil in, tries a good five or so times - I can feel the whole thing scraping on my cervix and it's genuinely one of the most horrible things I've ever felt. She gives up because she can't even get the straw thing to pass through the outer opening.

She tells me my options while I'm still lying down 'recovering'. She then tells me I can sit up. So I sit up, promptly vomit all over the nurse, then immediately pass out. I end up having the coil fitted under general anaesthetic.

IMO, a male doctor should NEVER say "there's a good girl" to any woman .

As a child of about 12 (old enough to leave school and go to the doctors alone), I once sat in the waiting room for over four hours because I was too shy to double check that they had registered my attendance.
They hadn't, even though I'd checked in with the receptionist on arrival.

I am 97% sure that I could feel my doctors beard tickling my lady garden on one check up

It wasn't in the doctors surgery but about 6 months after I'd had my first baby I went to a charity fundraiser dinner. The man sitting opposite said hi I recognise you from somewhere. It was the surgeon who had sewn up my hideously mangled foof after giving birth. It was a really bad tear that caused on going issues with going to the loo. It was honestly worse than meeting someone from your past who you regularly 69d with. He'd seen everything in close detail and shoved his finger up my arse. Mortifying!