To ask what is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you in a doctor's surgery?

[leaveitaloneforgodssake]

Someone has to make me feel better.

Today I had to go for a gynae exam. The doctor put the speculum thing in and was twiddling about for some minutes. She then asked if I had any contraceptive device fitted as something seemed to be 'in the way' of my cervix. I said no, I use a diagram but I always take it out......oh. No, it's still there. From about about a week ago (which is obviously why I had completely forgotten about it.) Ewwww. Doctor looked at me slightly bemused as I quickly removed the offending item. Two nurses were standing there too trying not to crack up. I have never felt so mortified.

When I was a student nurse I was doing a placement in a GP surgery with the health visitor. We were doing Ann immunisation run at the local Army barracks and I had a Raging hangover. I also was dying for the loo and too shy to ask! (I know I was stupid) anyway all that and the heat in the small room meant when a particularly smelly family came in I was holding my breath and my wee wee in. I fainted and Pissed myself all in front of Dr. health visitor and smelly family. Mortified as had to get the bus home in a pissy uniform.

Not in a doctor's surgery, but in a birthing room, I coughed and showered the midwife who was examining me with amniotic fluid!

Not in a GP surgery but was throroughly horrified when I went to meet my clinical supervisor at medical school and discovered he was a consultant whom I'd met (and detested) as a patient at a totally different hospital. He'd misdiagnosed me with an ectopic pregnancy that actually turned out to be DS1, and had managed to be a total dick about it in the process.

At our first meeting he unfortunately noticed the sudden flash of horrified recognition, and I then made the mistake of telling him I'd met him previously as a patient. I think he panicked, and inexplicably asked if it had been 'a good experience.' I had a brief flashback to him jamming an ultrasound probe up my vagina and cheerfully announcing 'Well, there's definitely nothing viable in there!' (then looking surprised when I was upset and legging it out of the room to find a nurse), and felt bound to answer that it hadn't been, particularly.

An awkward silence fell, and I now get the feeling he's as eager to keep our meetings as brief as I am. I've never had someone give me sign-offs with such efficiency and alacrity . One of the best parts of being on maternity leave with DS2 is not having to see him again until next May...

So I'm pregnant and thought my waters may be leaking at 29 weeks. Went to maternity unit. Speculum in. Big light shining down there. Midwife and a nurse both down there and I say 'it's just like being at the dentist but the wrong way round!' I chat utter shite when I'm nervous and having 2 people looking at my vagina whilst my sister is Sat next to me, made me feel a little awkward as I'm 22 and never really had anyone look up there 😂 they all cracked up and thought it was hilarious though so it did work for cutting the tension hahahaha

I went to my GP for the morning after pill after a condom accident. She suggested she did a smear at the same visit. Whilst fishing about in there, she hoiked out a condom end. I shouted "see, I was telling the truth!"

I booked in for an appointment for something or other and the receptionist blasted across the surgery "your smears overdue, do you want to make an appointment". I'd just cheerilybsaid hello to dd's deputy headmaster. She was about a month into yr 7 and I knew his wife personally. The GP and I had a conversation a few minutes later about confidentiality.

My vagina involuntarily decided not give my GP his speculum back. It didn't give into gentle persuasion and put up a good fight when brute force was applied.

"IMO, a male doctor should NEVER say "there's a good girl" to any woman ."

I'd extend that to men in general, not just doctors. Unless you've both agreed you're into it or sth

Had what was believed to be an ingrowing hair at the time right on a flap (now appears that I am just prone to this), turned into a lump, turned into a Cyst.
3 or 4 loads of anti biotics wouldn't get rid, would just empty and refill. I eventually get referred to dermatology and scheduled to have it removed.
Went in as a day patient as it was to be removed under local anaesthetic, that was mortifying being wide awake yet legs akimbo. I couldn't even shave due to where it was, then walked in the surgeon............
The chap was about 30 (so younger than me) and fit as fook , he was a proper diet coke break.... Well he would have been if he was cutting lumps from my fanjango at the time

We're friends with a guy who is consultant gynae at our local hospital.

Every single party where consultant gynae friend is invited I have some poor, mortified friend telling me he's her actual gynae, and she's either too embarrassed to chat socially, or she's done that whole "ooh don't I know you from somewhere... no, you look really familiar... oh, a doctor, what kind?... cringe."

Having my clenching muscles commented on when the midwife tried inserting a pain killer suppository after the birth.

I also ended up with a third degree tear that night - she was stitching up a graze (the worst I had, it was a pretty easy birth) when I flinched and she cut me!

DH's worse would be the fact that the one and only time his GP ever said "nice to see you" was after she had examined his testicles

Mine was falling asleep during my coil fitting . In my defense I had just come off a run of 4 nights & had taken 2 ibuprofen as directed an hour before the appointment.

Mine was in hospital - I had slipped downstairs so hadn’t been able to move very much since & hadn’t had a wee all day. A nurse gave me a bedpan but very soon after starting, I just knew it wasn’t going to be big enough! Cue flooded bed & gales of laughter from me & my lovely neighbour who had gone in the ambulance with me! So glad she came as we had a real giggle the whole day!

I was worried about a hard lump on my ladybits so I booked to see a lady GP. I was mortified when she told me it was only a blood blister... must have been caused by a particularly energetic session with DH!

Oh fuck, even worse was when I had pancreatitis. The ambulance crew arrived as I got off the sofa to try and get to the bathroom to vomit. Unfortunately I didn't make it, threw up and pissed myself as all my muscles contracted together. Yep, that's the worst!

Didn’t happen to me but happened to my Daunt. She went to see GP. He was a male doc and asked her to get undressed and lie on the examination table. She took her pants and knickers off and lay down. The GP then poked around her stomach for 10 seconds or so and said he had finished so she can get dressed again. She was mortified! She went with an endometrial issue so just assumed he wanted to do an internal.

I laughed for about 4 hours when she told me what had happened. Poor doctor must have been so embarrassed

I was sat opposite the doctor at her desk and she told me she wanted to check my blood pressure.

So I took my jacket off. At exactly the same split second I moved and extended my arm, palm up, she leant over to wrap the cuff thing around my arm.......resulting in me accidentally cupping her entire breast!!! Both of us mortified!

I had to take my son in for recurring nasal infections. Whilst we were in the waiting room (with a few others dotted around us) I suddenly smelt the most unholy of smells. It was truly vile.
Being so terribly British I donned my best poker face and attempted to not notice that someone had obviously let rip, but I had my 7 year old with me. Sigh.
I glanced out the corner of my eye to see his head whip round, take a big inhale (it must have cleared his airways!! Lol), I saw him grimace and before I could tell him to keep shtum, he very loudly went "uuurrrghh it stinks".
Awkward didn't cover it especially because it didn't take a genius to work out some poor sod is only there in the waiting room to see the GP because of his/her bad guts.
I'm really trying to spare their feelings but DS's horrified face and constant loud inhaling reduced me to a hot sweaty mess with the efforts to not collapse in a fit of giggles. A perfect example of inappropriate and insensitive (almost) laughter. I was glad to be called in.

Had lots of investigations for infertility, plus IUI and IVF. There were times when I thought I needed a turnstile on my flue.
Eventually got pregnant and was sent to the local hospital for my three month scan.
Went into the room and automatically reached under my skirt, whipped off my undercrackers and leapt onto the bed legs akimbo. The young woman doing my scan was horrified. She told me to put my clothes on, we scan over the tummy.

At (quite a bit older) friends dinner party, they introduce me to a childhood friend of the husbands who I've never met before.

I sort of think I can recognise her, but I don't know where from. The longer the supper goes on, the more I think I know her. I tell her I think I can recognise her from somewhere, and convinced I recognise her I go through possibilities of place I could ( metro stations, supermarkets, theatre classes, gym etc etc etc ) and she denies ever having met me... yet her face is strangely familiar.

Later in the evening, I go out to have a cigarette on the balcony and she follows me out, despite her husbands' protests that she's given up smoking.

Once they're just the two of us she says to me, "you're right, we have met, but don't worry, I won't say anything"

First I thought maybe I had slept with her at one point ( not plausible, but not impossible, I'm gay and I've I had a few one night stands.)

Then I remembered that when we were introduced she'd said she was a psychiatrist.

She was the psychiatrist who assessed me when I sectioned at 18 during a massive manic episode.

I bump into her 5-6 times a year at social events now and she's never said a word to anyone. She's lovely.

Omg I'm crying 😂🤣😂🤣😂

In hospital with a badly broken leg, full cast from ankle to hip.
Needed a wee so transferred onto a commode next to my bed, nurse had forgotten to put the bowl underneath so as I peed it just went all over the floor and over the poor woman in the bed next to me slippers !

My DH had a huge cyst on his back. Nurse Practitioner put gloves on and gently felt it. The contents shot all up her arm, over both lenses of her glases, all over her chest and on the ceiling.

Definitely YouTube worthy!

Was seeing a dr in clinic after I had a stroke. She got a bit confused and said "touch my nose with your finger" (instead of telling me to touch my own nose). I had really poor coordination in one arm and walloped her in the face and made her nose bleed! Mortified doesn't even cover it!!

I was trying a mooncup for the first (and last!) time and it got stuck! I read the instructions again and that wasn't listed as an option. I checked NHS Direct and they told me to go to A&E.

As I worked 5 minutes from the hospital, I decided to go in my lunch break. I had to say something to the manager in case there was a problem as I never normally took the whole hour and he was a bit of an arse. I'm not very good at lying so I said I had to go to A&E for a woman's issue and I wasn't going to go into details but I would be back as soon as possible and I would definitely make up the time if it went over the hour.

At A&E a lovely young female doctor eventually managed to grab the slippery bastard mooncup and get it out, but it took a while.

The stupid bastard manager told everyone I had gone to have an abortion in my lunch break!!!