Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you in a doctor's surgery?

121 replies

leaveitaloneforgodssake · 03/10/2017 19:50

Someone has to make me feel better.

Today I had to go for a gynae exam. The doctor put the speculum thing in and was twiddling about for some minutes. She then asked if I had any contraceptive device fitted as something seemed to be 'in the way' of my cervix. I said no, I use a diagram but I always take it out......oh. No, it's still there. From about about a week ago (which is obviously why I had completely forgotten about it.) Ewwww. Doctor looked at me slightly bemused as I quickly removed the offending item. Two nurses were standing there too trying not to crack up. I have never felt so mortified. Blush

OP posts:
user1499786242 · 03/10/2017 20:30

This thread is genuinely one of the best ones I've ever ever read
I'm howling hahahahahahhaha

Soubriquet · 03/10/2017 20:32

Had a speculum exam to check something. Can't remember what it was now

Nurse was trying to get the speculum in me...couldn't do it

Said very calmly "bare with me for one moment whilst I fetch the virgin speculum. This one is obviously too big"

I had had two children by this point...dh pissed himself laughing

NikiBabe · 03/10/2017 20:38

An internal when I had my period. Dr said it didnt matter. I tried not to look but sure I saw a huge blood clot on the gloves when she took her fingers out.

MrsJackRackham · 03/10/2017 20:39

I went to the Dr's about my painful knee. I was in a rush and decided only the sore leg would require shaving, of course after having a good feel at my sore knee he asked to feel my normal leg as a comparison. Ever the professional his eyebrow only raised swiftly and slightly upon grasping my very prickly leg!

edwinbear · 03/10/2017 20:39

Smear test, the nurse leaves the speculum in whilst she fiddles about with the sample, washes her hands, generally faffs about. Post prolapse nothing stays in my fanny of its own accord longer than about 30 seconds. There I am, making polite conversation about upcoming holidays, legs akimbo, speculum slowly working its way out - until 'ping' it's out. 😩😊

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 03/10/2017 20:40

I was lucky enough to have nhs ivf. Now there isn’t anywhere in my county that offers it but there is a clinic in the next county which is only a 20 minute drive away or I could have gone to a different county again which is an hours drive. I went to the closer one.
I was comparing notes with a friend who was also having ivf. She went to the place an hour away as the consultants child was in her class and she couldn’t face seeing them at pick up every day when they’d looked up her foof.

Mrscaindingle · 03/10/2017 20:45

Ooh stealth boast Soubriquet

I had the opposite which was an Asian GP, whose patients were all Asian apart from me, exDH and DC (not sure if that's relevant but might be) going to get the extra large speculum as the one he was using was not even touching the sides Blush

MummyIsAFreeElf · 03/10/2017 20:45

I have a few but most of them relate to my last pregnancy.
The first one was at my 20 week scan. OH and I were arguing over whether baby was going to be a boy or a girl. I was convinced it was going to be a boy, so much so that I would have put money on it. Pregnancy was so similar to my first and complete opposite of my second. So convinced another boy not another girl. OH said girl. So sonographer asks if we want to know. Said yes. She tried for ages but baby wouldn’t play ball. So she said her best guess baby was a girl... I tutted! Like full blown only sound I made. Not because I was disappointed in getting a girl, disappointed that my OH was right. I guessed right our first two pregnancy and he guessed wrong. I don’t know whose face was more of a picture after I tutted though. My oh or the sonographer. I just wanted the ground to swallow me whole though.

Second was whilst in labour with my last little baby. Everything was going really well, apart from the fact I was only 34 weeks. I was 7 cm when we got to the hospital so too far for them to try and stop it. We waited for my waters to go but I was ready to push before they did. Midwives said they’d break my waters then and sorted everything out. So I’m lying there sprawled out for them to burst my water, my oh beside me and the two midwives ready to do their part. They broke my waters and they shot out. It wasn’t a trickle like previous times. It shot. Across the room. Hitting both midwives square in the face. My OH burst out laughing. And I turned scarlet. The midwives where fantastic, made a few jokes but I was mortified

Hospitalexpert · 03/10/2017 20:45

I have ASD so not keen on shaking hands with anyone, though I’m getting better.
Met my brain surgeon at a concert and felt very squeamish shaking hands (though I might have done it at follow up appointments.) it was probably just a few seconds but it felt like hours before I could take the hand he offered.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 03/10/2017 20:45

Quite young, having a smear test and. The dr asked if she wanted to do a swab to test for chlamydia.

For some reason I will never fathom, I said 'well while you're down there, you might as well swab for whatever you fancy' Blush Blush

KurriKurri · 03/10/2017 21:10

I once went to the GP with a terrible pelvic infection (it turned out to be an aborted fibroid - which is when a fibroid is expelled fromthe uterus, but still attached by a sort of stalk so it kind of dangles around a the top of your vagina -a quite uncommon but obviously phenomenally glamorous complaint)

Anyway GP exmained me shone a torch up there and then called in the nurse. 'is that the cervix?' he said, she peered in - 'I don't think so, doesn;t look like one' and the GP shook his head and said 'what the hell is it then?' then remembered I was conscious and said 'not to worry Kurri, but I think I'll make an emergency appt for you to see a gynaecologist'

Gynaecologist was very excited when he examined me and called in a load of students and other docs to have a gander at my nethers. Then he said 'Would you consent to me taking photgraphs of this ?' by which time I was so fed up I said 'as long as you don't sell them to the News of The world'.

Soubriquet · 03/10/2017 21:26

Ooh stealth boast Soubriquet

ShockGrinBlush

NormHonal · 03/10/2017 21:31

Another speculum one! (who'd have thought?!): Breaking the (plastic!) speculum during a smear test as I was clenching too hard. I had very strong pelvic floor muscles then (note past tense, this was pre-DCs).

Post-DCs, being asked if a trainee could observe my coil fitting, but then hearing the trainee be told that I "wasn't a typical patient as it had gone in so easily" you try having a tight cervix after carrying a 9lb whopper for 9 months!.

NorthernLurker · 03/10/2017 21:43

35 weeks pregnant, something amiss in the nether regions, midwife wants to do a vaginal swab. She's showing off to her student, all flash about how casually she can do this. Rams it in, I say 'Owwwww'. She tells me to make a fuss, then says 'oh hang on'. Yes she'd inserted it in to my urethral opening. It bloody hurt!
Then she had the nerve to tell me how she was doing a hospital rotation around my due date and maybe she'd get to do my delivery. I felt like saying 'no thanks, I'll have somebody who can identify a vagina!'

Maelstrop · 03/10/2017 21:43

I laugh snorted and my lady parts tried to steal the speculum.

Hilarious!

I've had many embarrassing moments due to needing to go to hospital for horrible things over the years, but my most blush causing moment was recently, when the most gorgeous A&E doctor was feeling his way up my leg and I gasped in a positively orgasmic manner as he approached the incredibly sore bit. He stopped and looked at me quizzically and I babbled about waiting for the painful bit. Floor, please swallow me up!

I had an internal for painful periods once and wasn't told I needed an empty bladder and to not be on a period. I was both. It was horrible.

QuackDuckQuack · 03/10/2017 21:45

This has brought back the memory of my GP looking at my knackered and scarred foof and me joking ‘well that’s the end of my modelling career’. I don’t think she appreciated or got the joke, leaving an odd sort of silence.

Longhairmightcare · 03/10/2017 21:50

Not exactly medical related, but in GP's waiting room with DD1 aged 2ish. Screen showing various medical related 'infomercials' on rotation e.g. Giving up smoking, symptoms to look out for, for this and that disease. Anti binge drinking one comes up featuring large image of glass of red wine, with bullet points appearing over it. DD points excitedly and loudly chants 'mummy juice! Mummy JUICE, mummy JUICE'. No one can have failed to hear her/notice. Longest 2 minutes ever. Not so much embarrassing as mildly amusing.

ImaLannister · 03/10/2017 21:51

My ex had a dick piercing. After our ravishing night we discovered his piercing came off inside me.
I made an emergency appointment the next day with the nurse. I had to explain what happened, after doing some digging around in there she scooped it out with a massive spoon shaped thing and handed it back to me in tissue paper smiling!

LonginesPrime · 03/10/2017 21:53

Once, I had a smear test come back with an inconclusive result so was sent to have a colposcopy where they use a microscopic camera to examine your cervix in more detail.

I'm lying there with my legs in the stirrups as the nurse is setting up the equipment, when she turns the computer screen to face me and asks me if I'd like to watch the examination. 'Ah, that's a nice forest screensaver' I thought. I really like photographing trees and forest scenes, so I really appreciated the image. I said 'ok, sure'.

The nurse starts the exam and I realise the 'forest' was the colposcopy camera pointing at my unkempt pubes..

Patchouli666 · 03/10/2017 21:56

I've got bloody two!

First was when we were trying for our last child and had a strange lump lower abdomen on palpating. Went to dr and he said he'd need to do an internal up my arse ( my words, not his!) .. Called in a nurse too.

All sorted, walked out into waiting room where twatty dh was and who asked 'why I was all red' very loudly. Waited till outside to say, Coz I've just had Dr xxx's finger up my shitter!

Second was at a smear when the speculum cranked open, smear taken no probs. Speculum was stuck fully open, poor nurse tried and tried to loosen it but had to lubricate and heave in the end. Fucking thing! And that nurse was my eldest dd's best friends mum....

Patchouli666 · 03/10/2017 21:57

Heave as in pull not vom...my lady garden is exquisite and not that type of heave inducing!😂

Ledkr · 03/10/2017 21:59

Ds who was about 10 at the time was looking at the leaflets and suddenly shouted "mum, what's CHUMLIDIA?" 😳
Also my newborn dd doing a fart so loud that it simply had to have come from me!!
Telling gp "I think I'm pregnant" when I was actually around 5 months

Patchouli666 · 03/10/2017 22:01

I'd been eating lots of meat to try and conceive a boy - hence the lump....it was my constipated innards

Ttbb · 03/10/2017 22:03

I once (while pregnant and v emotional) had a bit of a breakdown over the state of the carpets/NHS in general and our decision not to move to Switzerland.

MajesticWhine · 03/10/2017 22:05

I have loads of embarrassing ones. A retained tampon at age 11 or 12 - I hadn't even started my period Blush. Had all kinds of contraptions inserted to get it out.
Then half retained tampon a couple of years ago which I didn't realise was there - was really smelly - with very hot young male doctor.
And then smear test this year, was told "Ew - you have a LOT of discharge there - is that normal for you?" Lots of fuss and extra swabs taken etc

Swipe left for the next trending thread