To make them pay?

[SpecialKt]

Dd is having a meal out with around 15 friends x they're all aged between 14 & 16 . Aibu to make them pay for their own meals or do I pay since it's dds meal ?

I've paid for birthday meals out before but that wasn't for 15 teenagers !

My friends and I have never insulted each other. They are awful. If this was my DD behaving like this I'd be livid.

I'd definitely talk to the school about the bullies and don't allow her to go for any meals with them. I wonder how they thought they were actually going to get you to stump up the money for the meal, it's not a very well thought out plan by them anyway, they sound stupid as well as bullies

Is she in her GCSE year, would she be staying on at school with them?

Oh dear, school can be so awful. 14-15 is the worst age, it does get better!

All the best to you and your DD.

Oh OP I really feel for you and DD. It’s a tricky age and there’s always a mean queen bee in a group of girls. It’s likely the majority of the group are just lying low to avoid any attention coming to them. I’d advice friendships outside of school through clubs and other interests as well as a smaller group of friends. It breaks my heart that she was worried what they would say about her clothes. That’s not friendly at all. It shouldn’t be tolerated. Tell your daughter she’s worth a thousand shallow mean girls! And that people who are happy with their own lives have no need to make others feel bad. Build her up! It’s happened to many of us as teens. My DD is 18 now and has a small group of nice friends but 14-15 were tough years!

She's being targeted because she's a nice and kind girl. ❤️ I think Maryz response is good.

I think I was on the mufti day thread the other day OP and a few of us suggested then that we thought there might be more to it. I'm so disappointed to be right :(

Hope you get to the bottom of it all. I'm sure not everyone on the chat was doing it to wind you daughter up, but I'd be looking at who started it and who said about not paying and focusing in on them and raising it with school.

Being a 14 year old girl is difficult and awkward, particularly with friendships. I remember it well!!
Best wishes to your daughter

I'm so sorry your DD is going through this; I remember being that age and being on the outside, it's so hard. There will be other girls in her shoes who feel the same. I also agree with Maryz's advice.

Yeah without letting your daughter know I would be straight on the phone to head of year tomorrow.
Not in an angry manner just wanting to know if they have spotted anything.If they deny it,then you can gives them the heads up that there is an issue and you hope they will deal with it as you don't want to have to get heavily involved and bring outside agencies in.

No they pay.

Maryz
Take your point.Hard knowing how to approach this.Daughter's school is very good,but I know some aren't.

for you and your DD, OP. Been there.

How can they pay and cancel the check allthegood ?

Thank you for the advice x I'll just ask the head of year to keep an eye on Dd for now x don't want to make anything worse

If there is bullying going on then it will not go away.
If your dd has told you specific things the girls are doing then you need to speak to her pastoral care teacher and discuss it. I dont mean complaining about school or all guns blazing but a meeting to discuss and ask the school to keep an eye out.

That sucks OP. I hope your DD is ok

Jeez OP what a bunch of absolute bitches. Their parents would surely be horrified if they knew.........

I'd be talking to these girls parents. Telling them were they aware their daughters were trying to get me to pay for their meal out?
I'd also go through her social media and see if they're messaging her or doing anything nasty online.
And yes I'd inform the school too. If she's having breakdowns and not going to school and they're trying to set up situations like this to take the piss, it's obviously become pretty bad. She sounds very unhappy. You need to be all over her like white on rice.