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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make them pay?

173 replies

SpecialKt · 01/10/2017 14:48

Dd is having a meal out with around 15 friends x they're all aged between 14 & 16 . Aibu to make them pay for their own meals or do I pay since it's dds meal ?

I've paid for birthday meals out before but that wasn't for 15 teenagers !

OP posts:
viques · 01/10/2017 15:10

or she could text " looking forward to the meal, great news, my mum has put up £40 to go towards the final bill!"

FittonTower · 01/10/2017 15:10

Are they all coming round yours for this meal or going out? If they're going out can't you just leave em to it and they'll sort it out themselves?

AChickenCalledKorma · 01/10/2017 15:12

There's plenty of time for her to let everyone know they are splitting the bill. I have a 15yo who always pays her own way going out with friends.

19lottie82 · 01/10/2017 15:13

You need to pay. They're kids and you invited them.

Gorgosparta · 01/10/2017 15:14

They're kids and you invited them.

No she hasnt

19lottie82 · 01/10/2017 15:15

Oops sorry yes just noticed that!
No, then you don't pay.

Ameliablue · 01/10/2017 15:15

If they've organised it between themselves, they should pay. Your dd should make it clear to them as soon as possible that she can't pay for them.

PuppyMonkey · 01/10/2017 15:16

Bugger that - if they had this bright idea, leave them to sort it out.

Rachel0Greep · 01/10/2017 15:17

The friends organised it so in my opinion, it's up to them to pay. Everyone paying equal share, I mean, so the only one you should pay for is your DD.

Why would you pay for others? What if thirty of them decide to organise a meal next time?

greendale17 · 01/10/2017 15:17

They pay as they organised it

PuppyMonkey · 01/10/2017 15:17

Did they also decide it would be nice to go to The Savoy and that you'll be paying? Cheeky wee fuckers. Grin

angelsgirls · 01/10/2017 15:19

My dd friends all seem to do meals out for birthday and they pay for themselves

Original poster
SpecialKt · 01/10/2017 15:20

Dds just got a reply from one of the girls on the group chat ConfusedHmm 'we put the effort into organising the night and it's for you so... '

I think her friend is trying to say that they're expecting me to pay

OP posts:
longestlurkerever · 01/10/2017 15:21

Definitely don't pay! It's nice of them to do this for your DD but that's kind of cancelled out if they're all expecting a free night out on the back of it. If they can't afford to go out you could offer to host something at yours, if you're feeling generous, but I wouldn't feel obliged

mumofthemonsters808 · 01/10/2017 15:21

My teen daughter is always at friends birthday meals and everyone always pays for their own.At a recent celebration, the parents turned up and treated everyone to a pudding, but it's the only time I've heard of this happening.

longestlurkerever · 01/10/2017 15:22

Fuck that! Cheeky sods. What effort in?

paxillin · 01/10/2017 15:22

She will have to answer "thank you very much for organising this, but since it hasn't been organised with my parents, they won't be paying for everyone".

Gorgosparta · 01/10/2017 15:23

Sorry but your dd needs to text back 'thanks for the thought but i cant afford to pay for a night out for 15 people. Especially when i didnt ask for it or organise it'

PandorasXbox · 01/10/2017 15:23

You don't pay. It would be a small fortune for 15 teenagers plus YOU didn't arrange it.

PuppyMonkey · 01/10/2017 15:23

She'd better text back: "Lol."

MagicFajita · 01/10/2017 15:23

They are insanely cheeky to book a restaurant and expect her/you to foot the bill. You didn't organise this , you didn't agree to this.

They sound like a bunch of entitled brats op (the mates not your dc).

longestlurkerever · 01/10/2017 15:23

She'll just have to text back and say sorry the thought is appreciated but that won't wash with my mum and I haven't got the money. Another time

ColossalKalamari · 01/10/2017 15:24

Cheeky little mare!(the other girl not your dd) There's no way you should be paying! You've had no say in this whatsoever and there would be no chance of me stumping up!

WeAreEternal · 01/10/2017 15:27

She'll just have to text back and say sorry the thought is appreciated but that won't wash with my mum and I haven't got the money. Another time

Absolutely this.

bellaboo101 · 01/10/2017 15:28

How cheeky of the other girl!
My little sister is 15 and her and her big group of friends regularly go to frankie and bennies and they all pay for them selfs (their parents obviously give them money each)

A big meal for 15 teenagers, who will probably want puddings too will cost a bomb OP!

THEY organised it THEY pay... if they won't I suggest your daughter has a smaller get together?