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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make them pay?

173 replies

SpecialKt · 01/10/2017 14:48

Dd is having a meal out with around 15 friends x they're all aged between 14 & 16 . Aibu to make them pay for their own meals or do I pay since it's dds meal ?

I've paid for birthday meals out before but that wasn't for 15 teenagers !

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 01/10/2017 15:29

If they organised it among themselves, than you have to let them know they will have to pay. It's going to be extremely costly, otherwise for you. There is noway I could afford to pay for a meal out for 15 teens. Could be £30 oh with food and soft drinks.

thelonelyhamster · 01/10/2017 15:29

I did something similar with my friends at that age... one of us was leaving so we had a 'good luck' meal out.

Only, we all paid for ourselves, and each chipped in a bit extra to cover the meal for our friend between us too, so she paid nothing! There's no way you should be paying for this, certainly not more than the cost for your own DD at most!

Shadow666 · 01/10/2017 15:29

Cheeky fucker alert!

Just have her text back "My mum says we have to pay for our own meals or would you rather cancel?"

BreconBeBuggered · 01/10/2017 15:29

My youngest is that sort of age and, er, no. I wouldn't be thinking of paying or apologising, but I think we're both of a more take-no-shit persuasion than OP and her DD.

HopefullyAnonymous · 01/10/2017 15:29

Could it be a case of crossed wires, and they think your DD is hinting that they should pay for her?

FannyFanakapan · 01/10/2017 15:29

good grief, even at a conservative £10 a head, thats £150...and lets face it, if someone else is paying, they'll be wanting starters and desserts and drinks....so make that around £350.

Very entitled behaviour - maybe offer to pay for 4x dominos pizzas and a couple of bottles of coke at yours. But restaurant - no way.

Aeroflotgirl · 01/10/2017 15:29

Per head I meant. Unless your minted, noway.

DartmoorDoughnut · 01/10/2017 15:29

WTAF?!

Tissunnyupnorth · 01/10/2017 15:29

Tippz. Spot on.

They organised it, so they are responsible for paying. If you had organised it as a celebration for your DD, I would expect you to pay.

numbmum83 · 01/10/2017 15:29

Even at a tenner that's £150 .
You can at least double that and add drinks.
No chance !
I would be finding out a menu for the restaurant and sending a screenshot with the prices . Otherwise they can all go to Maccies. A meal with a drink and a mcflurry , 6 quid each lol

MummySparkle · 01/10/2017 15:30

Oh hell no!

I can’t quite figure it all out, are you moving away or something? I think it would be nice to offer to put £50 in to the bill or say you’ll pay for dessert, but no way should you pay for the whole thing, that’s crazy! It would be like organising a surprise birthday party for somebody and then handing them an invoice.

Manon10 · 01/10/2017 15:30

My two teen DDs often go out for friends' birthdays and everyone always pays for their own. Very cheeky of your DD's friends to just expect you to pay!

ChicRock · 01/10/2017 15:31

Shock What a cheeky and entitled group of friends your DD has.

Gemini69 · 01/10/2017 15:31

my Daughters have meals with friends often.. EVERYONE plays for their own meals.. nobody expects friends Mum to pay for them.. good lord.. nobody would have a social life if the organising friend's Mum had to then PAY for everyone all the time... are you crazy Hmm

Aeroflotgirl · 01/10/2017 15:32

I would be sending a group message, that since they organised it, they have to pay, or its MacDs or pizza round yours.

pigeondujour · 01/10/2017 15:32

How weird! I'm sure the other girls' parents would cringe if they knew what they were up to. She should just say "my mum is hardly going to pay for all of us is she". By 15 me and lots of my friends had had jobs for a while, I wouldn't even have expected my parents to pay for my own meal if they hadn't had a hand in arranging it.

Notcontent · 01/10/2017 15:32

I can't believe the cheek of these girls!!! In the circumstances you shouldn't even offer a contribution in case they start thinking this is the norm! What next - organising a surprise birthday part for someone and then presenting them with the bill!?!?

MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/10/2017 15:33

I'd phone the parents of the ringleaders and ask what the hell was going on. And your daughter has to stand up to them and reply pretty sharply with "Ha, you don't think my mum's going to pay, do you? You can't just organise a meal and expect someone else to pay!"

Ginorchoc · 01/10/2017 15:34

My teen goes for meals for birthdays and usually the birthday girls parents pay? If it's not a birthday I'd expect them to pay for themselves.

Notcontent · 01/10/2017 15:34

I am starting to think there is a whole generation of young people growing up who have no idea what is normal in terms of social conventions, considerate behaviour, etc.

troodiedoo · 01/10/2017 15:35

She needs to speak to the girl she's closest to face to face in real life and sort this shit out.

KatharinaRosalie · 01/10/2017 15:35

what, how cheeky! So they basically organised themselves a free lunch? That's not how those things work.

NoMapOfMyHead · 01/10/2017 15:36

How wierd that they expect you to pay.
What are they wishing her luck for?

MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/10/2017 15:37

And what organisation has taken place? One text to see who wants a free meal and one call to a restaurant?

Gorgosparta · 01/10/2017 15:37

Are you sure she hasnt hinted or said you would oay if they organised it?