Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No my house is not Downton Abbey and you are taking the piss!

194 replies

Cubanito · 30/09/2017 10:57

A friend of mine is moving overseas for 2 years on Monday. She is following her DH due to his job relocation. She's not thrilled about it because she has had to give up her job, but the money was too good to turn down. Her DH has already gone a couple of weeks back and she has been organising getting things shipped out and the house ready for rental. Since yesterday she has been staying with us with her 5 year old son. I was happy to help her out.

Yesterday I picked up her son (7) from school before getting my own 7 year old from her school. My friend was supervising cleaners etc in her house. He son is not really one for boundaries e.g. he just opens cupboards in our house and helps himself to biscuits. Anyway, my friend came back at 6.30, DH also came home a bit early and I made lasagne for everyone (we have 3 DC). Apparently her son only eats pesto pasta so I made that for him. Then he was refusing to sit at the table and wanted to eat in the living room to watch TV. My friend said (loudly), "No you can't eat in the living room at Downton Abbey." Hmm Anyway, I let it go but then she let him run off upstairs and not eat anything. DH was Hmm but said nothing. I found it very rude tbh. Then she was drinking wine while I was clearing up. If it was the other way round, I would have helped. At 9pm she asked if her son could could have toast.

There were shenanigans in the night because her son was up at 4.30, downstairs with the TV on. I get that he might be unsettled by the move. I took him back bed (sharing with my DS who is 9), but he got up again so I left him to it. This morning he appeared to have eaten most of a box of Cherrios (dry) and made a mess in the sofa. My kids are not allowed to eat in the living room.

I made a cooked breakfast for everyone which we ate while her son was in the back garden, kicking bushes. DH was not looking massively impressed but said nothing. At about 10am, my friend left to go and finish off at her house. As she was leaving she said this to her son - "Be good today because you're going to the museum with Don Draper" (DH has offered to take the kids to the Science Museum). I asked her what she meant and she said I really should watch Netflix (she always takes the piss that I don't know who is who on TV). So I googled this name and it's a character from a show about an office and who has serial affairs with all the women in the office! What the hell does she mean by that?

I feel like she lets her son run riot and she is taking the piss out of me in my own home. I'm doing dinner for mutual friends tonight as a kind of "farewell", but I kind of feel as if I'm fuming. AIBU or should I just let it go as she's at a tricky time with the move?

OP posts:
Cubanito · 01/10/2017 18:09

Helena - I'm not getting into that. We will be away or in a crisis in future!

OP posts:
TakeAnadin · 01/10/2017 18:11

Don Draper is gorgeous and actually she may be again referring to a 'perfect home' because Don comes home to what looks like a perfectly balanced environment whilst actually hi wife is a hot mess of confused carnality.
I digress. Your friend is a bitch

Andylion · 01/10/2017 18:11

she thinks he's hilarious how he's "trained" the kids to shake hands with people and turn the TV off if visitors come into the room, that kind of thing

Yeah, teaching your kids manners is such a laugh!

Anatidae · 01/10/2017 18:12

She is unlikely to be able to work if she's a trailing spouse in the USA. So she's spent ages belittling you as a docile sahm enabling your husband and now she finds herself being that - with no work permit. It's broken better women than her - I know an awful lot of incredibly depressed expats.

Of course none of this excuses her behaviour. It's up to you whether you let her stay. I probably would as it's just a day or two, but I'd be picking up on all the comments.

"Don draper? Yes dh is a bit of a stud isn't he? Or do you mean he's a distant womaniser?"
"Downtown? Are we upstairs or downstairs then?"

She is going to be extremely unhappy as a trailing spouse, methinks, whereas your life is quite happy. She will be gone tomorrow and never darken your door again. Thankfully.

Ooogetyooo · 01/10/2017 18:14

Why not let her pick up the takeaway? I don't get it... Your friend is a complete using bitch. Your husband sounds like a gorgeous Saint! Make her have it before she goes...please !!!!

DagenhamRoundhouse · 01/10/2017 18:21

Tell them to go to a hotel.

Jux · 01/10/2017 18:38

I hope she's cooking a slap up thank you meal for you all tonight so you and dh can relax together before he goes away. She's not? Extraordinary.

Turquoise123 · 01/10/2017 18:46

When does she go ? Plan a big treat for yourself..... it does sound as if she realises her son is a pain hence why she is being s tiresomely defensive. Is such a shame when you have been so kind.

sleeponeday · 01/10/2017 18:51

she thinks he's hilarious how he's "trained" the kids to shake hands with people and turn the TV off if visitors come into the room, that kind of thing

I'd say that I think it's marvellous; I'd hate to be the kind of lazy parent who fails their kids because they can't be arsed to do the hard work of raising them properly. Life is tough on snowflakes - other people don't care how useless your parents were, after all.

But you are clearly nicer than I am. Unlike your so-called "friend".

Phalenopsisgirl · 01/10/2017 18:52

Wait until everyone is there for dinner, then innocently ask her about in front of them. "You called dh Don Draper to your ds earlier, you'll need to explain the joke to me as I didn't get it". Pause smiling, wait for her to squirm.

Phalenopsisgirl · 01/10/2017 18:54

Ah sorry, I didn't see the second page. Sounds like your children have good manners, unlike hers.

onaseem · 01/10/2017 18:56

TBH I feel really bad for u. I can understand ur plight bcs I have been thru the same thing until 1 day I had to tell them to leave bcs it was absolutely intolerable. I hope u can keep ur calm and let this time pass, but it is absolutely difficult if not impossible.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/10/2017 19:00

Just remember. One good thing about being upset by her is that you aren't actually her. That would be soooo much worse. Imagine being that kind of person. Sounds as if she's going to have a shit time. And I actually feel sorry for her. I was a trailing spouse in European countries. It was fab actually but I could learn languages, study, work etc. She doesn't seem to get what she's in for right now at all.

Shen60 · 01/10/2017 19:08

how rude, sounds like she has no respect for you and your family, and if anything she should be bending over to assist you, given that you have invited her into your home and been a good friend to help her out and her. Family.

fullofhope03 · 01/10/2017 19:14

Not long to go now OP Smile - Make sure you have the champagne chilling and pop the cork just as she and her little angel are walking out. You have and your DH have the patience of saints. xxx

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/10/2017 19:16

"Trained" the kids to have good manners?

Yes - I can see why she would object to that . . . Hmm

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 01/10/2017 19:27

the kids a little shit and his mums a nob! I'd be fuming aswell.

pp2017 · 01/10/2017 19:30

Your DCs sound lovely meanwhile hers is a bit of an unruly brat.....

Your OH seems like a decent husband and father, while hers is "laid back to the point of dozy".....

I may be way off the mark, but..... I smell a green eyed monster 😳

FizzyGreenWater · 01/10/2017 19:34

She's jealous Grin

You're fairly laid back too despite all her desperate prodding at you, which must be winding her up even more!

Pop a cherry on top before she goes, next time she makes a comment go straight for the jugular and blandly reply something like 'Oh I wouldn't get wound up about it, I'm sure your DS will calm down soon enough. He hasn't been that bad really'.

Hahaha

mommybunny · 01/10/2017 19:40

OP, how did your DH train your DCs to shake hands with strangers? Would he be willing to give me lessons? The only way I can get my DCs to do it is if I remind them in front of the stranger, and I’d like for them to offer themselves.

[misses point of thread...]

mammmamia · 01/10/2017 19:44

Another one who would also LOVE to know how the OP's DH managed this Smile I would love to get my DC to do this!
Sorry OP. You sound lovely. Your friend is a pain.

mammmamia · 01/10/2017 19:47

OP just a thought but you mentioned you'd met her through a baby group... perhaps she's a good friend in that context but her true colours have showed themselves now she's actually a guest in your home. You'd never have known what she was really like otherwise. Sometimes those baby group friendships are very artificial. Maybe this is actually one of those?

PumpkinSpicexx · 01/10/2017 20:02

She sounds horrible and yeah I think she is taking the piss big time and considering she is a guest at your house - so rude!

Point her in the direction of the nearest hotel and tell her she has overstayed her welcome!

Hepzibar · 01/10/2017 20:04

pumpkin have you RTT? She's leaving tomorrow

CoolCarrie · 01/10/2017 20:14

Roll on tomorrow OP!
You, your dh & dc sound like a lovely kind people, and she sounds bloody jealous! It is to your and your family's credit that you have good manners, and are kind to put up with her as you all have.

Swipe left for the next trending thread