N/C. Ancient in being a few years past free TV licence.
Threads like this set me thinking and I'm posting with my thoughts rather than addressing OP, who I don't think is being unreasonable.
Brief background. My mum died when I was 19 after much illness so was used to Dad doing things around the house.
First marriage, wife telling me our marriage was over, siad, 'You don't need me, you're perfectly able to look after yourself.' As far as she was concerned I was undermining her 'wifely' role.
Then, nearly forty years ago I met someone else, who revealed later I was the first bloke she'd known who didn't expect his tea on the table nor looking after all the time.
My early working years were in a factory, later became a teacher and degrees via the OU. It was only then I started to find support for views that were out of kilter with those around me.
A seminar that stays in my mind started with Oscar Wilde's phrase, “All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.” Translated as, mothers take on the caring, nurturing and organising role and men don't.
I get irritated in social settings, when DW mentions something I do, and another woman responds, 'Oh really, you've trained him well', or, 'how did you manage to train him to do that?' There's an assumption I couldn't possibly have thought things through for myself, because training is wife's role.
Another favourite, 'aren't you lucky to have someone like that …'. Crummy's post was spot on.
I don't recall anyone ever telling me how lucky I was to have (OH). Now there's a thought … have any of you ever said to a husband, 'aren't you lucky to have (DW) to do things for you?' For those of you who don't have a partner who thinks doing things in the house are normal, perhaps that notion could be the starting point of a conversation.
And perhaps the following might help as well.
Another thought comes to mind, next time you're introduced to a woman you've not met before, don't ask her what she does, ask her, 'do you have a full time job, or do you go out to work'.
Sixteen plus hours at home doing things is full time work, eight hours in a job isn't.
The same applies to the notion that earning money has a greater value than say, cooking a meal. Though it is a circular argument. He earns money, but if you didn't cook meals, shop he wouldn't be able to work – the different activities have equal value.
This is getting a bit long, so I'll just make a comment to those who feel it's easier to do things yourself. I'm sure most of you can drive, which is a complex skill, but eventually it all comes together and you do it without thinking. Despite being an adult when learning, no-one treated you like a child. Cooking is a complex skill, which needs to be taught, be prepared to put in the time and you will reap your reward. Which is what Katharina said.