to think not everyone has "the girls", goes out for "girly chats" etc

[CaptainWarbeck]

It does my head in and I don't know why. One of my friends is always referring to 'the girls' when she talks about her mates, and when we go for coffee together she gushes about us having such a good 'girly catch up'.

What makes it so 'girly' other than us just both being female?! I have just as good in-depth chats with male friends and I also just have a bunch of different pals who I see at different times, rather than a select group of female friends who go out on the town together as 'the girls' - usually while their boyfriends/husbands have a 'lads night out'.

Why does this annoy me so much!!

SinglePringle Of course those friends would still be invited! However I currently don't have any single friends in any of my friendship group so it's easier to say we're having a couples night out.

But it really is ok for women to be silly and talk about strictly and shit and even shriek if you want, you dont have to define that as girly

But how do you understand the big words? Doesn't your husband mind?

Glitterlips, I quite agree that the term 'best friend' is cringey, even worse is 'the bestie', which I hate with a passion!

'Girls night out': the term would be a bit incongruous as the friend I go out with most is 62, so it's not a term I would use personally but each to their own.

Girly time: I use that for time with my DDs not my adult friends.

Ive never done the girly thing! Maybe when i was 20 plus, but it was just meet up the pub, maybe go to a club. Spa days were for rich women! 😃
Never been a 'girly ' holiday or many hen nights ( used to get out of it if i could! ) i have probably missed out, but its the way it is.

Someone please define "girly".

Female friendship is so important though. My best female friends have been a lifeline to me at times, and I grew up with the misogyny-poisoned mindset that I wasn't like 'other girls', they were silly and bitchy and I was different/better. It all changed when I went away to college and met all kinds of amazing women. I don't particularly like it when grown women call themselves girls but if that's empowering to them, great.

I hate being referred to as one of the girls. I have a woman on my facebook who insists on keep tagging me in crappy meme things saying 'so true girlies' or 'look at this girlies' we aren't even really friends, our daughters (8 & 9) are best friends.

Nearly all my close friends are men though and I have never minded being referred to as one of the boys (which actually happens quite a lot) so maybe my issue is more that I don't see myself as one of the girls? I do sometimes see the posts about girls night, girly chats etc and wonder if I'm missing out on something.

Despite the fact that I hate the whole girlie tag on on things, (I think it's reductive) and slightly patronising) I am a huge believer in female friendship and it's supportive and empowering value. My female friendships have added hugely to my life, especially in times of stress and I find the wisdom and humour in the company of women to be a great source of happiness in my life.

Just don't call it girlie please, it's not all kitten heels and pink fluffiness, the stuff I talk about work women is every bit as substantial and often more so than what men bring to the table in a discussion.

with women not work women!

Noloveofmine yes I think it will be a while before that phrase catches on!

What lilifer said. I'm fortunate to be friends with a lot of amazing women. Some are group friendships ( I'm still v close to 6/7 of the women I was at Uni with 20+ years ago) whilst others are more one-on-one friendships that have developed through work, sport and children. They really enrich my life and have provided a huge amount of support, encouragement and fun.

Friendships with women are really important and tbh "the girls" is probably my issue I just think it can sound belittiling and that is probably why i cringe

Twee as fuck.
I'm all for female friendships, where we talk about politics, the economy and possibly our manicures but the whole giggling girlie thing makes my teeth itch.
It's only one step away from a hen do, complete with inflatable penis.

I know some amazing women. At 40 none of us are really girlies.

Yeah- the media's portrayal of female friendships is crap. They're always too dimensional or weirdly competitive and toxic. It's not something I recognise.

Two.. ffs

I had penis straws at my hen do

Just say they were ironic

Yes of course ironic penises that went with the ironic bride to be sash oh i was at the harry potter studio tour a few weeks ago there was a hen party in complete with tiaras sashes and wands and cloaks they wère havi ng a great time

The term 'girls' gives me the rage. I am in my 40s, I am not a flipping girl!

I hate the whole 'prosecco' thing too . And people who talk about their 'hollybobs' . Grrrrrr .....

Oh, fucking prosecco. I really like prosecco, I learnt to like it when I lived in Italy 20 years ago. Now it's become a cliche. Bloody upstarts .

Prosecco is slowly being replaced by Gin i hate Gin and feel outcast if i say it outloud people look at me like 😕