to think not everyone has "the girls", goes out for "girly chats" etc

[CaptainWarbeck]

It does my head in and I don't know why. One of my friends is always referring to 'the girls' when she talks about her mates, and when we go for coffee together she gushes about us having such a good 'girly catch up'.

What makes it so 'girly' other than us just both being female?! I have just as good in-depth chats with male friends and I also just have a bunch of different pals who I see at different times, rather than a select group of female friends who go out on the town together as 'the girls' - usually while their boyfriends/husbands have a 'lads night out'.

Why does this annoy me so much!!

I don’t like ‘girly’ as a descriptor of the night, but I don’t have a problem with ‘the girls’ as I find it a quick way to identify who I’m talking about.

For me, ‘the girls’ are old school friends. They are the only ones labelled this way and it’s perhaps a term of nostalgia as we were girls when we spent regular time together.

‘School friends’ doesn’t work as I had friends from different groups of different sexes so it’s too broad. Whereas ‘The women from school’, sounds cold and dispassionate. ‘The girls’ just seems better suited.

To me it always sounds like we're going to be spending the evening in a romcom or stock photo, the person will definitely want to put photos on Facebook, and there'll be a montage beforehand of each of us being cutely dorky in facepacks.

But I am horrible, and so are all my friends

I like mixed groups. I like all women groups. I don't like groups of women who say how much they prefer men to women because they don't like talking about fashion, women are so bitchy and men are just so straightforward and easy to talk to,......

" If I referred to them as women it would make us sound much more serious than we are!"

I think that sums up some Women's issue with needing to use the term "Girls".

Women, especially as we age, are seen as having/being less fun. It perpetuates that we've got to cling on to be/seen as young.

I prefer girls to boys. Because girls are amazing.

I refer to my school friends as "the girls" because we went to an all girls school and were actual girls when we met (sadly no longer).

I wouldn't call our nights "girly" particularly unless drinking too much wine and screeching like harridans is girly behaviour

"Unless drinking too much wine and screeching like harridans is girly behaviour"

To me, this is exactly the cultural/media idea of "girly behaviour," along with days at the races in fascinators and improbable heels, contouring (wtf??) and liking Ryan Gosling.

Can you tell I'm not a fan..?

Drives me loopy. Even more so that I have friends who refer to themselves in this way and find it weird that I don’t, and also seem to think that - being female - I obviously share their love of gawping over Christian Gray and giggling at penises.
Yes I’m whinging. Meh.

Bizarre comments continue. Girls and women aren't one entity. There are plenty of us. Each has her own personality and interests...

What's so awful about having a couples night out?

I know women exist who aren’t like this, but why are they all miles away from me.

Female friendship is awesome, I don't think anyone's disputing that. 'Girly' used as in 'girly chats' and so on just seems very very heteronormative and rigid gender roles-y or something.

Reminds me of a group of DH's old schoolfriends where when in groups all the women have to sit together and talk about babies and weddings and the men have to cluster together and talk about whatever it is they're allowed talk about, and woe betide you if you chat to one of the men because THAT'S SO AND SO'S DH and men and women can't be friends. Eugh.

This is just what it makes me think of though.

The standard 'female' topics bore me rigid. So an outing with people who talk fashion, slap, celebrity, handbags, spas and so on would be a nightmare.

But surely if they're the kind of topics you find boring, then you wouldn't tend to discuss them with your group of friends, whatever you choose to call that friendship group

Meet your friends, talk about plants or brick-laying or lentils or nail polish .... whatever floats your boat.

Girls only talk about fashion, makeup, "celebrity" (sic) and when to have their next spa day. If you want to talk about anything serious you need friends who are men.

*Can't think of anything worse than a "girly night out".

Give me mixed company or make company everytime please. *

This also bugs me too. Why would you have more fun in mixed company than just with women? I would hope you would treat every individual as their own person and not as a stereotype. I can’t see how adding a penis to the mix makes a difference.

MrsJBaptiste because what if one of your friends suddenly became single due to divorce or bereavement? Are they no longer able to come along on the evenings to which they'd have previously been welcome?

Or if one of your group of friends was long term single? Do they not get invited?

'Couples Nights' smack of inclusion based on relationship status. Not something I'd consider when organising a night with friends.

NoLoveofMine I assume you are being sarcastic, however on the chance that you are not - I’m assuming you are a woman and are capable of talking about serious things? Or are you also only capable of talking about superficial, materialistic things - you know, as only men can talk about serious matters.

I assume you are being sarcastic

Of course

What makes it so 'girly' other than us just both being female?!

Probably because we revert to being ridiculously giggly and loud when we get together

Girls are so giggly and screech and squeal when talking about what that other girl was wearing the last girly night and OMG!!

To clarify we DON'T screech about clothes/ make up or the last night out.

Why label it? Why not just “going out”? Who even cares who you are going out with?

I love going on nights out when men are there. You get to hear conversations about politics and the economy, you just learn so much.