to think not everyone has "the girls", goes out for "girly chats" etc

[CaptainWarbeck]

It does my head in and I don't know why. One of my friends is always referring to 'the girls' when she talks about her mates, and when we go for coffee together she gushes about us having such a good 'girly catch up'.

What makes it so 'girly' other than us just both being female?! I have just as good in-depth chats with male friends and I also just have a bunch of different pals who I see at different times, rather than a select group of female friends who go out on the town together as 'the girls' - usually while their boyfriends/husbands have a 'lads night out'.

Why does this annoy me so much!!

I have fantastic, close friend who are girls. They have helped me and supported me so much, inspire me, spur me on, are integral to so much that I do, give me so much confidence. We talk about university choices, career ambitions, violence against women, rape culture, and many, many frivolous things. They are not "girly". The power of female friendship, though, is immense.

A few groups of women I know have started calling themselves the Golden girls

Over-thinking the whole thing - quite typical of Mumsnet.

These posts are so tiresome. If people didn't do what you term as "over think" things, there'd be few threads on the internet and few conversations. "Over-thinking" is what leads to interesting discussions.

Hmmm it's not a phrase I'm comfortable with, makes me feel like I should crack out the nail varnish and start painting my friends nails and squeling over their shoes....

Not a fan of groups of women been referred to as ladies or girls tbh. No deep reasoning really, I suppose it's the labelling just inflicts an expected kind of behaviour and that throws me off.

Totally agree. Absolutely nothing wrong with groups of women spending time together, but it's grim to label everything as 'girly this' and 'girly that'. Very infantile. Same for 'boys night out' etc

A 'girly night out' suggests lots of Bacardi, high heels and shrieking. Shudder.

I also loathe grown woman describing their female friends as 'girlfriends'

I don't feel infantilised by being one of the lads, it's just a term of endearment

Ah yes, 'overthinking'. Also known as 'thinking'. You could try it sometime

I regularly get together with a group of women for lunch. If it has been a while since our last meet up someone will usually message asking if we can arrange our 'girls day out'.

I understand why it bothers some people, but personally it doesn't bother me. They all realise we are adults and not children. I understand the arguments against using 'girls' but on a personal level I really can't bring myself to care if my friends want to arrange our 'girls day out'.

I am 60 and still have nights out with the girls. We enjoy our nights out without our partners. If I referred to them as women it would make us sound much more serious than we are! And by the way we all have very responsible jobs.

'the girls' aspect is one reason i came off Facebook. I don't have girls, i don't have friends to meet with or go out with. It was just a reminder that I don't have that as part of my life.
To be honest when I've heard people talking about the girls in real life, it seems to consist of talking about each other and stressing about friendship angst. It just feels too much like school so for that I'm grateful!!!

I am definitely nicking 'non-binary companions' for the next night out i have

I don't use it myself mainly because almost all my socialising is female only unless it's with my husband, so it wouldn't describe much.

I don't object if others use it as to me it's a signal for the sort of night out where we are there to talk and it's fine not to drink. It is sexist though,men should be free to join us for a good moan about GCSE choices chat any time.

I dislike the use of girls/lads for grown ups. I also find 'the baby' for a 7 year old irritating.

I don't and would not use girls/ lads to describe going out with my female friends.

I had a great night with the non-binaries last night but I'm terribly hungover now. Parent 1 is expecting me to help them in the garden as well.

I just don't understand the reluctance to use the word "woman/en"

The use of it is generally a good litmus-test for how well you're going to get on with the person using it, IMO. Personally it makes me a bit .

I may still call my 13 year old "the baby"

😳
It's a hard habit to get out of

Baby

The standard 'female' topics bore me rigid. So an outing with people who talk fashion, slap, celebrity, handbags, spas and so on would be a nightmare.

I think it reinforces a kind of social purdah, making socialising in single sex groups the norm. This frustrates me a bit, as I enjoy socialising in mixed groups the most.

Saying that, the majority of my friends are female- but is this the result of that social purdah? Certainly, as a LP, I do feel an invisible censor warning me off making friends with attached men- sad eh? Also, I'm more likely to make friends with people in the same situation as me - parents with care of small children- who tend to be mostly female.

It's a shame, because I feel that men would benefit enormously from my pub rantings about dismantling the patriarchy .

The standard 'female' topics bore me rigid. So an outing with people who talk fashion, slap, celebrity, handbags, spas and so on would be a nightmare.

Is this a joke post?

How could any woman or girl actually think those topics are "standard" "female" topics?

Spot the man.

I see it as a carefree night out where we all have too much to drink and forget about husbands, work and children for a couple of hours. Mixed nights out are great too but there's something about reliving your youth with a silly night out. And a silly night out deserves a silly name.