To wonder why it's such a big deal to take children for dinner in the UK

[tinypop4]

Not originally from the UK- where I'm from it is totally normal to take children out in the eve.
Last night we had guests staying so we went for dinner at the local curry place. We took our dd who is almost 5 and our friends Dd who is almost 4. We went at 7pm, they behaved well- stayed at the table other than to go to the toilet, chatter, coloured, ate off the ordinary menu. They didn't shout, run around or cause any drama and we left at 9.15.
In the course of this 2 hours I had 4 different people telling me that it was 'very late for young children' 'they should be in bed' and one whispered loudly and in ear shot that it's 'cruel to have children out as late as 9pm'.

Now if they were over tired toddlers ,
Screaming, tantrumming etc I could understand if people might feel annoyed by their presence but in this case I didn't get it.

We were stared at a lot and were the only people out with children and despite having a nice calm evening, felt quite annoyed by the end. Why are children so unwelcome out in the evening here? Maybe I'm being unreasonable and children shouldn't come out in the evening but I think ta a shame

Haven't read the whole thread but me, my OH, DD (nearly 2) and my mum and dad went to Chester a few months ago. We went to view a wedding venue and were staying over (in separate hotels).

DD normally goes to bed at 7 but we thought rather than sit in the hotel room in silence all night, we'd stay out. DD fell asleep in the pram no trouble around 8 and we went for drinks at my parents hotel.

When we left some dicks people shouted at us that we were bad parents for having DD out so late. She was fast asleep!

Haha, reminds me of the fridge-magnet which says "I child-proofed my house by they still get in".

Thanks - you might enjoy my sweary stories of single life!

Next time tell them to mind their own business we’ve got a 4 yr old and been taking her to dinners since she was born it’s not unusual and no one comments

As for spicy food: DGNiece, three in August, has been to a curry-house with parents and DW and me and devoured a korma (she devours anything eatable). Start 'em young. Next time a vindaloo.

Same here user7680

I've had 3 kids who are now aged 14, 18 and 25.

We've always eaten out regularly and never had a negative comment, glance or tut.

I live in the north. Loads of Indian restaurants here. The places we've been to over the years are full of children from baby age upwards out with their families. Certainly wouldn't be an inappropriate setting here.

Worra I come from Singapore - eating out is the norm here and is usually casual rather than a big event. I do recognise that it's more of a treat here though.
Only because I've noticed when I haven't taken my dc to a restaurant that there never seem to be children in them in the evenings. They seem to be excluded from evening socialising here and then last nights experience made me feel as though I had committed a very bad faux pas!!

To PP hearing some loud foul mouth sweary story would put me off my food, as would PDAs!

If other diners annoy you, stay at home!!!

I dont think this is unbelievable at all?? People in the UK are uptight and judgemental in general (and I am British!) And seem to go out of their way to be offended by anything. We have done a fair bit of travelling and I have noticed that in many countries in the Far East that children are part of the socialising and I think it's lovely. Wandering around Beijing at night for instance and families are out eating together and playing together - it's very sociable and a lovely atmosphere.

I'm British living in Spain and my DS4 has always come out with us since birth and does just fine, doesn't run around wild around the tables by 11pm... He is a night owl naturally so doesn't get overtired. We had a pretty unfortunate time when we were in London though, restaurants licenses changing at certain times so we had to leave, funny looks past 9 etc! Also, in a spain, a couple of comments from other tables about "child should be in bed" from british people who assumed that being abroad, they were the only english speakers around so could say whatever they liked. So I do think it's something the British get their knickers in a twist about. I enjoy eating together as a family, id hate to have to eat before 7 or eat separately from ds at home, so I'm glad for his later bedtime!

hmm- i wouldnt take my kids out past 7pm - but thats just me. My daughter sleeps at 730pm (she's 3) and my son sometimes sleeps at 7pm. When my daughter was very young - she didn't have a schedule and would sleep as and when, because of this we could go out for later dinners etc. With my son however, he developed his own routine by 4 weeks and because my daughter developed her 730 routine by the time he was born, we decided to stick to this. When we are on holiday, we make exceptions though - they sleep later.

I wouldnt judge anyone for bringing their kids out late - not my issue, just as long as mine are in bed!

Tinypop - i am from singapore too (but live here) so i totally understand what you are saying - we were in clarke quay and so many kids were out after 9pm!

So much bollocks on here, one person says something to you in one restaurant in the U.K. and loads of people wade in to say that's what the whole of the UK is like. Are you incapable of reasoned thinking or is regurgitating unoriginal glib nonsense common where you are from?

bakingaddict unnecessarily rude really! Have you got something to say to the OP de her thread question Or did you just come on here to be rude?!

Yep OP, in the UK, it's seen as crazy to not have a child that age in bed by 7.00pm.
Yu are not to take them out after that because they will automatically be monsters that will annoy the other responsible adults having a nice time in said restaurant.

You didn't imagine that.

I always had a culture shock going back to my own home country and seeing people going out until midnight to the restaurant or friends and their dcs, often much younger than 5yo.
Actually Ive been told off back home because I wanted to out my dcs to bed 'early' (about 10.00pm) and really who was I to stop them having fun like this!

You can't win unfortunately.

From time to time I take out my children (aged between 2- 9yrs) in the evening. Sometimes for a meal or other reason (probably most often a family gathering). Even as late as . . . . 10pm at times.

On quite a few occasions over the years random people have commented that "they should be in bed" and I mainly smile and ignore. Or glance at their watch and say to the child "are you not tired?". Sometimes the children might be tired! But I still feel they get more out of being included when possible, they can sleep in the car on the way home/have a lie in. I get what you are saying OP.

I regularly take my 7 year old out for dinner but not on a school night.
We usually go on Saturday early evening unless it's the Summer holidays .

I have no problem with other people's kids being out late. I really can't keep my own kids out late though, any time I've tried to they don't sleep in, they just wake up at the same time as usual and the fall out lasts for days - tears, tantrums, over tiredness etc. So I am one of those people who does do dinner at 5.30 or 6, bed at 7.30. I've found the judging goes the other way far more often - that I'm not cool enough to keep my kids out late, why can't they just sleep in?etc. I've found that some parents (not all) can be quite smug about how they've kept the same exact life style and hobbies they had before they had kids. Not all kids are laid back and some don't just adapt to what you throw at them. My dd (first child) was extremely particular about her environment, became desperate if she wasn't in bed by a certain time, didn't like a day full of noise and people ( some here and there is fine), and objected really loudly to certain things ....took her to a wedding as a baby hoping she'd sleep in a quiet corner (it wasn't a particularly rowdy wedding at all) and she screamed so much after 8pm (we were hoping to stay until about half 9) that we couldn't stay and she didn't calm down until she was home in her familiar environment. Not all children are the same, not all families are the same. There'd be less judging if people could maybe take the time to remember that.

YANBU. Have always taken DC out for evening dining experience from a few months up. Local restaurants quite happy to have a wee one sleeping in a pram, usually Indian, Chinese or Italian. Restaurants always very welcoming. Older DC quite good but behave like children of course. Don't let them interfere with other diners. No one has ever passed an adverse comment. Lots of friendly interaction (I know the difference between that and 'tolerance') so have never had to use my pre prepared retort which is "I'm sure you will find this difficult to believe but I am not interested in what you think."

IMO 9.15 pm is late for young children, especially when you then have to get home/ get them to bed after this.

My 4 year old fades fast between 8-9pm. We do go out to restaurants though -but earlier - 6 -6.15 is so we are leaving 7.45 ish. Never had any comments.

I think it depends where you are. Where we live is very rural. Only places to each are country pubs, and on the weekends are more drinking places than places you'd go for a nice family dinner. During the week, I suspect most people are just getting home from work and getting the kids to bed to get up for school. Our closest town with anything else is a 30 minute drive away, so that would be a long trip just for dinner. We don't even do that on date night when we have a babysitter as can't justify the expense and the drive when we could go somewhere local.

Also, depends on the age of the children, mine is little and goes to bed by 8. But definitely when I was a child, we went out to dinner all the time when I was older, probably several days a week. But we lived where restaurants were close and not a long drive away.

It really depends on the curry place. In general there's nothing wrong with being out that late but I worked in a Thai place for a while that didn't allow kids after 7/8pm because we were popular with stag dos and hen nights and it wouldn't have been the right place for kids, the curry place opposite my house is similar, whereas there are a few other restaurants nearby where its quite common to see kids in that late, for you to get 4 comments in one night I wonder if maybe it was the curry place you'd chosen that was the issue.

We're just weird in the UK. I know parents who send their kids to bed at 6pm after 'dinner' at 4.30 or 5, and then whinge that they're awake at 5am. Ya think?

(really I think the British style of putting kids to bed at 6pm is because parents are tired of them and 'need a break'. Of five hours?)

We are also, culturally, not a fan of children in restaurants and you could take them for breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner and have people glaring at you. "This isn't a place for children" they will hiss, or you'll even get comments from friends and relatives, flapping and fussing if there is no 'children's menu'.

I far prefer the European way, where people dine out with kids because, er, they're people too, and go to bed in the dark. It's so much more pleasant watching whole families eat together and my children playing with theirs at the playground after dinner.