Thoughts on being a functioning heroin addict?

[marthaedensnumberplease]

I have a friend - she is a mum of 3 kids with quite a large age gap between them:17,10,4. She "told" me tonight (I put 'told' in commas as it was the end-point of a long convo) that she has been smoking heroin since she has been a parent (she's 37 now) but only doing it once a fortnight, slash every 3 weeks, plus only smoking, never injecting. I have literally been round to this woman's house twice a week for the last five years for a bloody nice dinner .....and never guessed.

She has a very good job, a clean house, kids are lovely. She reckons there ARE people like her.

I think she said stuff like "never have guessed", "not like one thinks" as I bemusedly left.

She has the kind of life - relationship with kids, relationship with DH, success in jobs etc that I would envy. She said that "smoking the occasional bag privately" makes her feel better and able to be who she is

I don't even have an aibu. Just wondering if I'm being a shit with the judgements I previously had until today.

You are not alone waytootired.

I think that's very different bumbling I like a couple of cigs when I have a glass of wine I don't smoke when I have not had a drink it wouldn't cross my mind I have been a social smoker for about 30 years and never really become addicted. However I have personal experience of heroin addiction someone very close to me was a heroin addict they functioned in that they held down a job etc but they were addicted and couldn't give it up ,they eventually gave it up via help from the drug team and prescribed medication which they are still on, they said it was the messing around and the hours of waiting for their fix that pissed them off the most ie waiting for their dealers to answer them and for them to have the heroin. I can't believe someone would go to that much trouble for the occasional use what's the point?

Phew pollythedolly!!

SS won't do anything?

Ahem they will want to know when this woman is using? Where her children are at the time of usage?
Where she stores her drugs?

They will want her to stop using class A drugs and either take methadone or suboxone and take urine samples to prove she isn't using.

No they won't take her children away. They will want to keep children at home and minimise the risk she poses to her kids whilst she puts her own needs above theirs.

Once every three weeks my backside

I was a "functioning" drug addict (not heroin or illegal) till I put myself in a 5 day coma, I shouldn't be alive to write this. I've been to hospital with other users and I don't believe there's such a thing. They always get you in the end.

bumbling I have the same smoking pattern as your mum (currently not smoking at all)...I definitely am addicted though, it’s just I’m able to manage it better than my 20 a day younger self of the early 90s.

I've only got to page two, but I wanted to chime in before reading the rest, yes it does happen, there are recreational drug users who use like she does, the thing is, these people are quite rare. I would be in judgement of the fact that there are batches every so often- and increasingly that are much stronger and are killing people, over the past few years it has become a more common thing that Fentanyl is also mixed in with batches of heroin- same thing but I believe 100 times stronger. Even naloxone often doesn't reverse the overdose (when it does its literally 5-6 doses used!) There was a bad batch that went around this area last year, and according to my dad who works in the services, 35 people died in 10 days.

I also read an article only a few months ago about a young boy who went swimming, he died of an overdose, he somehow came into contact with carfentanyl. It supposedly was only a few grains that he wouldn't have even been aware that he had come into contact with whilst out and about. That is the stuff of nightmares, and that would be a concern to me, she doesn't really know what she's buying, and if it's going in her house, how can she be 100% sure that there isn't even a trace of that shit that her kids can come into contact with?

Does she use whilst an adult who knows is around?

Does she take whilst her kids are away at grannies?

Does she have a kit with Naloxone in it? They can be obtained.

I think it may be a good idea to maybe go with her and engage with addiction services a few towns over, they will be able to have a frank discussion and actually help her reduce the harm in taking if she isn't willing to stop.

Keep an eye on her. She's obviously a good friend and I would ask her why she has chosen to tell you this

This is a good comment.

I do fine the hand wringing about the supply chain quite hypocritical - how many of you have granite work tops, buy clothing, eat fruit and vegetables from Mexico, eat chocolate, let off fireworks made in China?

All have seriously unethical supply chains with slave and/or child labour.

I used to work in this field and yes you can get functioning addicts especially those with good jobs and more able to afford better quality product with far less harmful impurities! I don’t know how she is managing to keep it occasional though as heroin use usually leads to full on addiction though not necessarily injecting.

It is much more common than people think. I know for a fact that many actors and models use it. It also keeps you thin.

Doesn't make you constipated?
that would put me off
I have enough problems with my bowels as it is 😶

I find it a concern that as she is someone you look up to, a close friend, you admire her and envy her life and she's presenting heroin to you as a "safe" recreation; promoting it's benefits. Even making it sound appealing, a bit edgy and cool.

Please don't be tempted to try a smoke of it yourself. I can't help thinking that if you'd been receptive after your chat, she would have cooked some up for you.

I think she's trying to get you to try it so it doesn't make what she's doing so bad.

I used to work with someone who described themselves as a high functioning opiate addict. I was really shocked and would never have known but on reflection could see times when they were excessively frustrated and edgy.
I'd be concerned by her normalizing it and describing it as recreational.

Well said Maryz

I agree with Maryz. Heroin is not ''no big deal'' and nothing could ever convince me that my shock and aversion to the notion of recreational heroin use is an over reaction.

When it comes to clothes, we buy what we can afford. I wouldn't go in to penny's for anything other than socks and disposable bath mats but I would never be so delusional as to reprimand somebody eking out a living for buying jeans and jumpers and coats in pennys.

5river7hills. I agree, it's an odd confession given that it was unnecessary. A sort of x of mine, we saw each other over the summer, it was going to be for the last time anyway, but he told me something that was quite shocking. I wondered was he trying (successfully) to turn me off him. Or was he trying to test me and shock me for his own amusement.

Ages ago I bought a book about societal attitudes towards drug use and how these have changed over the years. The guy who wrote it was on Thinking Allowed on R4 and he was so interesting that I hunted down a copy (Drugs, Intoxication and Society by Angus Bancroft). Anyway, back in the day, there were loads of functioning heroin addicts (morphine addicts really) among the professional classes. These days I guess it's rare but surely not impossible.

I think the thing to bear in mind is no one functions well on heroin, however well the user might think they do.

Much depends on what is meant by 'functioning'
Does it mean that there are no adverse consequences at all to the heroin use?

Certainly as I understand it heroin, if pure is not particularly toxic in relationship to its capacity to intoxicate.
Alcohol has one of the worst ratios of toxicity to intoxicity, ie even in small amounts it is harmful to most tissues and organs in the body

I'd definitely keep an eye on her. It's not just ok or harmless fun. What if her marriage broke down? The temptation. It's a risky precipice she's on. Who does she see to get it, store it, where are the kids.

I had friends who became heroin addicts, all classes of people. It's best not to ever cross that line, ever. I think I would look at her in a new light, and not agree with her that it's ok. I'd probably say I remain a friend, but that it does concern you, and that she really should talk to someone, a drugs agency, doctor, about it.

Hey guys. Stayed off the thread last night bc I felt confused, upset and guilty. Read the replies today. So much stuff and different views so my head isn't much clearer. I won't phone ss; that much I know. Respect the view of people who said to but I can't. Under the circumstances of her healthy happy kids it would be wrong. Thank you for all the views. I'm just going to look and listen to her for now.