I have a cheeky fucker on my hands, don't I?

[JustHereForThePooStories]

I work in a field that touches a lot of peoples' lives (not in the emotional sense; the work I do relates to activities a lot of people need). I'm in a senior, specialist role, and also have additional legal qualifications relating to the area.
I'm not self-employed. I work for a company so am paid to focus on these activities for my employer. They also pay for further education and support CPD in my field.

At least once a month, I have someone contact me asking for my advice on a personal capacity.

In the past, I have helped but have found that many people-
A) Don't appreciate it and expect you to be at their beck and call once you engage
B) Don't give you the full story so the advice I give is moot/unsuitable
C) Make a point of not taking the advice when it doesn't suit them, almost to the point where they argue with me about doing the opposite of what I recommend

This week, a distant family member who I haven't seen in ages sent me an email saying that his friend from work is looking for advice and he will call me tomorrow to talk me through it.

I replied to say "Hi X. Good to hear from you. I'm on holiday at the moment so not available for phone calls, I'm afraid. I don't like advising people I don't know on such matters as it's difficult to get the full picture and I'm not comfortable with it. I'd suggest your friend contacts for assistance with her issue.
Hope all is well with .
Hope to see you before the year is out.
Poo"

He replied, CCing his friend saying-
"Hi Poo.

I have CCed in . , can you please email Poo directly with the "full story" so she can see what she can do to help before you go to the trouble of contacting ?"

I've replied to both to say I'm not contactable as I'm on holiday, will not be checking emails after today, and am unavailable to assist, as mentioned in first email. I've also emailed relative directly on the back of that to say if appreciate it if he didn't share my personal contact information with strangers.

This is just beyond bloody cheek, isn't it?

You do indeed.

Have a CF that is. And it is a bloody cheek for definite.

Jesus Christ that relative can not take a hint!

I wonder whether or not their friend will take the hint, or just plough on regardless.

Put your Out of Office on now. When you get round to replying, say that it's not quite your area of expertise, and suggest someone who will be able to help them in a professional capacity.

If you wish to get rid of them very quickly, send them your fee schedule and bill them for the minutes required to read and respond to the previous two emails.

It's "more trouble" to pick up the phone and call a professional body tasked with answering queries than type out a whole story for someone who may or may not be available or able to help then, I guess!

YANBU

Phew at last, an OP that's dealt with a CF in a sensible and decisive way. It makes for a less entertaining thread but it's the right way of dealing with CF's.

Just have a standard email saved to send back with recommendations and details of your fees if they choose to engage you. Knock < 0.5% off yours as discounted for mates rates.

Perfect, now follow through.

Having worked in an industry where people would say "ooh I've got x in pension y" or "bond d isn't performing like bond a" whilst at a punk gig or family christening or family funeral I understand the pain. Raise your cf level and gaurd it with your life.

I know someone who was in receipt of,threatened, legal action about a conversation down the pub regarding theoretical £/$ movement. Its just not worth the agro.

OMFG

CF is right!!

did they use your work email or your personal one? I'm just wondering because if it was a personal one that's not in the public domain, I'd be even more angry.

I don't give my work email to anyone other than work though sadly people can google for it.

Bill him.

Something I was not brave enough to do when the nurse who was doing my smear test decided to consult with me regarding her personal matter and my professional role whilst my legs were akimbo and she had a speculum inserted inside my vagina

It's my personal email address.

No out of office capability but have added the stanger's email to junk filter.

No response from relative yet.

so it was your personal email.

My rage would propel the relative into 2050.

you can type up a standard out of office reply, store it as a draft, C&P it into "reply" to any unwelcome email you receive.

Home apps probably do have an O-O-O facility but it is best not to use it as it may tell the world when your home is empty.

I'm not sure what your profession is but in my profession if I give advice even just casually to a friend, I am considered to be in a client-attorney relationship and all the associated conduct ethics rules apply, I could even be legally liable for the "friendly advice" I give. For that reason I generally try to steer requests for advice to other resources and keep my advice very basic and short. Can you do likewise? I find it rather cheeky if someone I don't even know personally expects to get free advice from me mind you!

That's definitely a CF. How rude!

Ugh, poor you. I sometimes ask friends for professional help but always start by saying, what are your rates for [thing]?

but what do you do?

is it a legal profession (you could throw a bone); a nursing profession - point him elsewhere; a doctor, get him to make an appointment; social services - refer him to his local branch; an architect, you must know someone; a chef - fuck it he can get one in the phone book - unless you are providing a truly unique service and are ABSOLUTELY AN A1 CLASS ACT AT WHAT YOU DO - A1 MIND - don't feel guilty about referring him elsewhere.

Outrageous! Some people have no shame and a lot of front.

I went from a legal job to working in career coaching, so it's CF central here. Don't engage, not even out of preliminary interest. Sorry, can't help with that; or My job at X doesn't allow me to advise outside the scope of my role; or No, can't help - suggest you try Organisation Name.

(((((Hugs))))))) OP.
Your relative is an imbecile

I understand OP and yes, you have a CF on your hands. I'd just ignore the emails as you've explained to them.

DP & I get this on a semi regular basis. A 5 min conversation I don't mind, a back and forth email, informative exchange taking up a couple of evenings, nope, not on. I gave birth last week and the next day DP had a friend call him to congratulate him (I put on FB) and then ask for professional advice which took a whole evenings phone call. DS was less than 24 hrs old! I was furious. I also recall a friend of DMs calling me for advice and proceeding to bad mouth my industry, their local adviser (who I knew professionally) and the whole system. They were at fault and I don't think they appreciated what I did for a living so basically just ranted! I was annoyed as I listen to people moan and whine while I'm at work, I don't need someone doing it on a Sunday afternoon too. Either you take the advice or fuck off!