I have a cheeky fucker on my hands, don't I?

[JustHereForThePooStories]

I work in a field that touches a lot of peoples' lives (not in the emotional sense; the work I do relates to activities a lot of people need). I'm in a senior, specialist role, and also have additional legal qualifications relating to the area.
I'm not self-employed. I work for a company so am paid to focus on these activities for my employer. They also pay for further education and support CPD in my field.

At least once a month, I have someone contact me asking for my advice on a personal capacity.

In the past, I have helped but have found that many people-
A) Don't appreciate it and expect you to be at their beck and call once you engage
B) Don't give you the full story so the advice I give is moot/unsuitable
C) Make a point of not taking the advice when it doesn't suit them, almost to the point where they argue with me about doing the opposite of what I recommend

This week, a distant family member who I haven't seen in ages sent me an email saying that his friend from work is looking for advice and he will call me tomorrow to talk me through it.

I replied to say "Hi X. Good to hear from you. I'm on holiday at the moment so not available for phone calls, I'm afraid. I don't like advising people I don't know on such matters as it's difficult to get the full picture and I'm not comfortable with it. I'd suggest your friend contacts for assistance with her issue.
Hope all is well with .
Hope to see you before the year is out.
Poo"

He replied, CCing his friend saying-
"Hi Poo.

I have CCed in . , can you please email Poo directly with the "full story" so she can see what she can do to help before you go to the trouble of contacting ?"

I've replied to both to say I'm not contactable as I'm on holiday, will not be checking emails after today, and am unavailable to assist, as mentioned in first email. I've also emailed relative directly on the back of that to say if appreciate it if he didn't share my personal contact information with strangers.

This is just beyond bloody cheek, isn't it?

Oh, gosh, I feel your pain. If ever I thought I was going to cross over into asking a friend to do for me what they do as a job, and i have, I would first ask whether they felt comfortable having a friend as a client and then be sure to ask for their fee schedule. Not because I was worried about what they charged, probably, but because I want them to know I'm not a CF! I can think of two friends this has happened with and or has been fine because of the immediate separation of friendship from profession. I feel a bit weird about mates rates-like taking advantage. Should I? Or should I assume that if I've asked their rate and they've agreed to do job/service, it is their decision what to charge?

Make sure you have a reply ready if it turns out that CF family member has given out your number. You may receive a direct call from them.

Any news OP?

Cheeky fucker indeed! I can't believe he did that regardless - I'd be pissed. I think you've handled it well PooStories.

I sometimes get asked for an opinion on things relating to my work, and I usually don't mind - especially if they are close friends or family. Most people are actually pretty considerate.

The most memorable inappropriate request I had, was right after I'd given birth. I'd just been wheeled out of theatre after an emergency C-section, following a 2.5 day failed induction of labour for some pregnancy complications when my midwife, who I actually really liked, started asking me specific questions about how to manage a clinical problem she was having with one of the other women she was looking after. This was before I'd even been given my newbie to hold. I understood her position, as I know from working as a junior doc in that very hospital how hard it can be to get timely advice, as it's so bloody busy, noone answers their bleep in time, and everyone's looking after more patients than they should be. And I think I answered in a general, and pretty non-commital way (hopefully thus forcing her to get a definitive answer elsewhere), but my family were very sweetly outraged on my behalf! I was so bloody hungry by that time, I just wanted to shnoodle my new little mite and woolf down the hospital shepherd's pie that was weirdly the best thing I'd ever tasted (boak!)

Oh and I was also party to a sudden full frontal of a close friend's testis satchel. I think he thought I'd want to see how it was all getting on post hernia op and flashered open his dressing gown before I had a chance to rearrange my face..

Enjoy your holiday! 😀😀

I was once a district nurse. I got home still in my uniform and was having 10 mins sit down on my sofa when the front door bell went.

CF neighbours a few doors down were stood there. At the time I didn’t know who they were as I had just moved in and didn’t know anyone. The reason they saw me was because I hadn’t put the curtains up in the front room yet.

They had seen me sat in my lounge in my uniform. They wanted me to come and look at their daughter who had a headache ( apparently she was conscious etc and coherent-from what I could fathom she just had a headache)
I politely declined
I explained I had two children in the house and I was now off duty (my district was no where near my home) and I suggested calling GP ( we could in those days) or a&e if they were very concerned

Oh they got cross
Very cross
They DEMANDED I attend as ‘we pay your wages’ and if their DD died they would sue me for every penny.

I closed the front door

20+ years later they still glare at me if I see them on the street.
Their DD went on to marry have kids...

I gave up nursing 10 yrsago....

Well, "before Monday" is nearly upon us. Has the CF been in touch again?

Has the CF been in touch again

I've done something a bit mean

I took advantage of the time difference and, at 3am his time, sent a text to say-

"Error 316. The host's network is unable to receive. Your message has not been delivered. Ref:ex-25188/direct"

He resent the message, so I sent the same response.

I rang my mother earlier and she asked me if I'd heard from this relative as, apparently, he sent her a text asking if she had an alternative number for me.

That's not mean, that's genius :)

Op, you go down in the hall of fame as one of the best replies ever.

I’m going to steal that (ahem, borrow)

Your response is pure gold. Well done OP.

That is hilarious, well done 👍😂

Too subtle if you ask me. Should just tell them that no, you're not going to do what they've asked and to stop texting.

👏 Genius. A toast! 🍾🍻🥂🍷🍸🍹🍺🥃

Excellent effort, OP. What did your mother think? Is she likely to be able to tell the relative to get to fuck and leave you alone, or is she the tiresome sort who will start nagging you to 'be nice and help out?'

What did you tell your mum?

Best ever response to a CF!

Best reply ever. I’m going to remember that for future reference.

That is so funny!!

Excellent effort, OP. What did your mother think? Is she likely to be able to tell the relative to get to fuck and leave you alone, or is she the tiresome sort who will start nagging you to 'be nice and help out?'

A little from column A, a little from column B.

She's a complete technophobe so gave him my (only) number (the one he texted me on) but told him I was away and she wasn't sure if my phone worked abroad.

I'm in no way a walkover and have no problem saying no to someone like I did with this guy and his friend from the outset. I've just never seen the audacity. They keep pestering despite being told no. Frustrating pricks, the pair of 'em.

OP id be sending "ERROR.....FUCK OFF"

This reminds me of that thing that did the rounds when I went to clubs...there was a mobile number you could give to guys who were really aggressive, it connected to the generic voicemail woman saying "I'm sorry, but the person you are calling is not interested".

Perhaps someone needs to invent an email filter equivalent (actually you can probably set that up OP but you shouldn't have to). I'd be having words with this rellie when you get home.

CF indeed! The gall!

But I've got to be honest, now the nosey gossip in me really wants to know, what could be so urgent that he would continue to badger you and even call your mum looking for you over this?

Relative is doing the whole showing off trying to impress his friend thing. Making promises he can't keep. Telling friend "oh, Poo can help and sort out issue".
Then he can be the hero.

Now you have refused he is looking like a twat and doesn't like it so is becoming more agitated and desperate.

He won't ask in future!

ijustwannadance - I agree that's what it sounds like. He doesn't want to back down because he doesn't want to lose face.

We don't know OP's specialty, nor do we need to, but presumably if this was a genuinely urgent life or death situation, then relative and his pal would be seeking advice elsewhere as OP isn't rushing to help out. If it's not so urgent then they are very cheeky bugging her on her holiday. To be fair, the friend may think OP has genuinely agreed to help if that's what the relative told them.

Fabulous cheeky fuckery!