I have a cheeky fucker on my hands, don't I?

[JustHereForThePooStories]

I work in a field that touches a lot of peoples' lives (not in the emotional sense; the work I do relates to activities a lot of people need). I'm in a senior, specialist role, and also have additional legal qualifications relating to the area.
I'm not self-employed. I work for a company so am paid to focus on these activities for my employer. They also pay for further education and support CPD in my field.

At least once a month, I have someone contact me asking for my advice on a personal capacity.

In the past, I have helped but have found that many people-
A) Don't appreciate it and expect you to be at their beck and call once you engage
B) Don't give you the full story so the advice I give is moot/unsuitable
C) Make a point of not taking the advice when it doesn't suit them, almost to the point where they argue with me about doing the opposite of what I recommend

This week, a distant family member who I haven't seen in ages sent me an email saying that his friend from work is looking for advice and he will call me tomorrow to talk me through it.

I replied to say "Hi X. Good to hear from you. I'm on holiday at the moment so not available for phone calls, I'm afraid. I don't like advising people I don't know on such matters as it's difficult to get the full picture and I'm not comfortable with it. I'd suggest your friend contacts for assistance with her issue.
Hope all is well with .
Hope to see you before the year is out.
Poo"

He replied, CCing his friend saying-
"Hi Poo.

I have CCed in . , can you please email Poo directly with the "full story" so she can see what she can do to help before you go to the trouble of contacting ?"

I've replied to both to say I'm not contactable as I'm on holiday, will not be checking emails after today, and am unavailable to assist, as mentioned in first email. I've also emailed relative directly on the back of that to say if appreciate it if he didn't share my personal contact information with strangers.

This is just beyond bloody cheek, isn't it?

Oh, I wouldn't have done that. I'd take great pleasure in saying plainly 'I am not going to engage with you. Stop contacting me.'

But good work nonetheless.

Good work!

Also, when you get back and get the inevitable 'Didn't you get my messages?' you can act all mystified and say 'But I emailed you making it clear I wasn't available. What, you mean you were texting me after that hassling me to help? I don't understand. Do you mean to say you deliberately ignored my email and request not to share my details? And even contacted my mother to find a way to keep badgering me? Why on earth would you be so rude - can you explain?'

I can't believe how persistent they have been considering your firm line and the fact that you are on holiday! If it's urgent why aren't they following your recommendation? That is one entitled CF you've got there! Great thread though.

Chapeau, OP, chapeau!

It's a funny reply (from your/our point of view), but it's not solving the problem.

Your relative still hasn't grasped that you're not going to help. Also, the person - who presumably genuinely needs help - is probably delaying other means of support as a result of misguided promises from your relative.

I think you should send a proper reply - "I can't help. They should seek professional advice elsewhere, and I would prefer it if you don't share my contact details with people in that way. Thanks."

Playing games is all well and good, but you're not dealing with the problem, merely postponing it.

She's already said all that, travelling. Why should she repeat herself?

Oh, is that a thing? Hat hat?

Travelling, have you read my posts? I've already done that, more than once. My relative and his friend have both been told that I will not be providing this service, and I've given them details of where to get assistance.

Jux it means, effectively "I'm so impressed, I take my hat off' to you"! (It is indeed a thing.)

Sorry, I had read the part where you'd already emailed to say don't share contact details, but somehow completely forgot about it by the time I got to the end of the thread in my annoyance at your relative.

But I stand by my point that you should just say no. Pretending not to receive messages doesn't fix the problem. You just have to be a broken record about, even if you send the exact same reply to every attempt contact.

Sounds like a lot of my relatives and friends sigh

I'm a bit concerned that the person might google the made up error message and find this thread!

Cheeky fucker! Love the reply OP

But I don't think he's going to back off anytime soon

Arthur I think it would be hilarious if the person googles the error message and finds this thread. With the added bonus that they might be mortified and leave OP alone.

If this person Googles and finds this thread, tough. They really should understand no means no. They were told twice and are still persisting. That's beyond rude and cheeky.

CF relative has promised your services to his colleague, whom he's trying to impress/date.

Send this link to him: www.justfuckinggoogleit.com

CF relative has taken money from the friend for your services is my thought.

expat. If the CF has done that, he deserves all the crap he's likely to get.

You are a terrible cynic expat and I love you.

YANBU definitely out of line and taking the piss

ArcheryAnnie thank you! I shall employ that phrase at my first opportunity. I love MN.

I agree with Fromage and expat. Your relative has entered into some sort of verbal promise to their friend and cares more about getting you to do the work than he does about disturbing your hol and pissing you off.

OP I;m wondering what happened when you got back.