To think I don't belong on mumsnet

[Jollygoodsnow]

Is mumsnet thoroughly middle class? Often I feel out of my depth on here. People talking about what to do with their £50k inheritance or where to buy to get the most out of their £1.5mil. And here I am with DH living in the south in a rented home trying so hard to get a foot on the ladder because you'd be lucky to get anything worthwhile round here for less that £250k

Then there's the people asking do you like this dress/top/bag and I open the link and it's an item of £80 £200 or more etc etc. Who is spending that sort of money on themselves? And how? I want in on it!

Then there's those on a good salary. I earn minimum wage. Going all over the world on holiday, we go to Butlins

Posts about problems with the nanny, the cleaner bla bla

Life is not a conparison game but how do others seem to just land on their feet so well or people on here just lying through their teeth? I work hard for my money and so does DH , we've not much debt and money in the bank but I just have this nagging feeling others are galloping through life whilst I'm sort of trotting catching up behind?

Feel free to enlighten me with your stories of 'normalness'

Either than or perhaps I should pop over to netmums

Thank you fridgepants

Looking back on my original post and reading all your answers it's clear that I need to do a bit of self searching and developing. I gave my self a little talking to a while ago after reading the comments and without comparing to others this is what I DO have:

A roof over our heads

Heating and hot water that I am free to use whenever I wish without thinking of the cost

A mostly happy marriage

Food in the cupboards

A car each

A wonderful mother

Three wonderful children that were conceived easily

Our health

As a PP suggested I'm going to head over to the thread about being grateful

50k inheritance doesn't make you MC does it?

and this is why I love mumsnet

Mumsnet is for everyone 😊. That’s what I like about it.

I hate the way every discussion of class turns into some sort of Victorian discussion of "count thy blessings". Can we not talk about structural inequality on here? It's a huge blindspot - there's a woeful lack, in thread after thread, off anything approaching sociological and theoretical insight into the systemic ways in which wealth inequality is generated in our society. If there is one thing that makes Mumsnet utterly bourgeois, it's the way in which this liberal hegemony, with its near total inattentiveness to the structural and the material, washes over the whole site.

Totally agree guilty.

There have been a few posts pointing to that, guilty100 .

I suspect there would have been more if the OP sounded up for it.

I don't think the amount you inherit dictates your social class, though obviously there is some correlation.

It's possible to inherit an ex council property sold off to your parent under Thatcher and now worth over a hundred thousand but work for minimum wage and have none of the other vague attributes people would associate with the middle class. Equally possible to have been brought up in a middle class family and have a middle class education and job but inherit nothing because the parents sold up and spent the capital enjoying their retirement, or their property was sold to pay care costs, or they did equity release, or they left it all to your feckless brother because they believed you'd be ok but he needed the inheritance...

And inheritance is a key way that reinforces structural economic inequality.

MiaowTheCat- Yes I've noticed there is a lot more judgemental bitchiness about baby names ect on here than in other places

A lot changes as we age too. In my twenties & thirties, money was pretty tight. We made sacrifices and had some luck. Now in our forties, we are much wealthier.

guilty lots of people will be put off by your terminology though, it's pretty elitist all by itself.

The need to have devoted years to reading academic feminist theory in order to post on the feminist boards without being sneered at, even chat, is what puts me off posting there.

I agree that the class system itself is stupid and everything should be questioned not taken for granted, but if someone says they don't feel middle class enough for mumsnet there will be others who don't feel academic enough.

bratsy I agree - but why can't that be discussed in layman's terms?

OP I wouldn't bother heading over the the 'grateful' thread. I've read the first few posts, one is grateful for her cleaner that cleans her massive 4 bed 3 bath house and the next one is grateful for sending her sheets out (I assume to be laundered)! Not really the thread to make you feel any better. FWIW I feel the same as you. Though I can't afford Butlins, have just had to buy food on a credit card that I am already nearly to the max on and have no idea how I'm paying my bills next week. There's always somebody worse off!

I completely agree with Evelynismyspyname.

MN is a great place to discuss anything. There is still more listening and engagement on MN than I have seen anywhere else. However, I do think that if you want a discussion, you start from where people are.

As Bourdieu makes us aware , specialist languages don't only work as a refined-by-usage, shortcut to talking about complicated phenomena; they also serve as exclusionary gate-keepers.

There's a lot to be said for starting with concrete examples, propinquitous to the direct experience of individuals: lay-person's terms.

And raising people's consciousness can be a painful process. The end result may be less pain - and less internalised, individualised pain. But the road to getting there - on a journey which has often been prompted by real mental pain in trying to reconcile the unresolvable - can lead you through some quite bleak psychological landscapes.

There are plenty of us on here who like a bit of Louis Lidl and Primani. You must be clicking or be drawn to the wrong threads

Tbere are loads of boring threads like this.

Yea, there are those who can't find the type of house they want in Richmond for 1.5 million, and even someone who supposedly does so well in her stellar legal career that she owns an island, but surely they are in a tiny minority.

I just had to decide whether I wanted to buy food from the shop and walk home or skip the food and catch the bus - didn’t have the money for both.

However, tbh I’m not usually this skint and am v lucky to have supportive family , I’ve just been unemployed for the last month so shits going tits up 😂

We didn't land on our feet !! My dh worked his way up to being a director of a global company!!! We got on the property ladder at 25 with a cash back mortgage and got nothing from anyone !!! My mum and dad did the same and now my mum is retired with a very valuable estate . 🤷‍♀️

I agree with your point guilty but OP was specifically asking for suggestions on how to make herself feel better and less resentful.