To put all of yesterday's washing up on DH's car bonnet

[drfostersbra]

I cook, DH washes up. Well that's the agreement that we come to every few months after a huge row when I ask why he has decided not to wash up again.

If there's one thing that pushes my buttons, it's coming downstairs in the morning after cooking a lovely meal the night before and finding stinking dirty washing up.

I'm at home all day with our very mobile baby today and there's no side board space to prepare food and a bad smell that I have to sit with all day.

Bastard.
So would I be U to put it all in on his car bonnet so he will need to move it before he starts his day (as I will have to do)
It annoys me that it's always good for a few months then he leaves it for one night, I let it go, 2 nights I think 'oh he must be tired I'll do it', 3 nights hmm he's slacking. 4 nights arggggh!

Men think differently about this stuff

Some men are lazy slobs because they can get away with it

You could thank him for going to work everyday, so you don't have to?

Josephine was that supposed to be funny? He doesn't go to work everyday. I'm guessing Josephine is actually Joseph.

Oooh one for the bingo board from josephine. Out of curiosity Josephine, are you assuming that the dh has thanked her profusely for going through pregnancy, pushing a baby out of her pelvis, feeding it every few hours, giving up work for a period which reduces your pension and is statistically linked to reducing career opportunities so future earnings, trusting him enough to do this and be financially dependent on him for a period ,taking on most of the household work, then finding a different job or adjusting her job so that it works around childcare, thereby sacrificing further career opportunity and financial security ?

@timeisnotaline 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

@timeisnotaline

house!

'Men think differently about this stuff'

Bollocks to that. (Some) Men have been allowed to think differently about this stuff.

Is there room on the board for 'take a spa break (that'll learn him)'?

Thankyou, that's what I was thinking!

You are home all day

@timeisnotaline

Great post 👏

Most posters are fuelling the op's anger and resentment. She's gonna get so wound up that her DH will really get it in the neck. How much more peaceful her evening would be if she just tried to thank him, for just one thing he does to right.
She doesn't have to mean it - but if rather be happy than right all the time

I wonder if OP's DH thanks her every night for the work she's done that day, her care of his child, and cooking dinner (plus the shopping and meal planning)?

Remarkable how the answer to a man not doing what he's said he will do is to ignore it, do the thing yourself, and say thank you to him for some other thing.

Most posters are fuelling the op's anger and resentment. She's gonna get so wound up that her DH will really get it in the neck.

You got it!

She is not being unreasonable. It just matters to her more than him and finding a balance is really hard. Seething resentment isn't healthy but it's hard to find a middle ground. My hubby does jobs he likes but not the daily "grind" tasks like loo rolls, toilet cleaning, bath scrubbing, bin changing. He is a "put to soak" person and regularly leaves pans and trays for me to wash. He is currently doing enough stuff I hate to just about make it ok but it's a knife edge before I flip

My pjs on bathroom floor not ok
His socks on floor by bed is ok
And do it goes on

Why should the OP clean up the next day "because she's home" when he was home the night before?.

It's really simple.

Domestic drudgery doesn't come with a NO Y CHROMOSOMES warning. And a Y chromosome does not make you unable to "see dirt/mess"/ let it bother you/etc.

Responsible adults do their share of the drudgery.

Saying "oh, I hate doing it" is not a get-out clause.

All this 'oh, just do it and make him happy and think how much pleasanter it will be for everyone' stuff works one way. His way.

Sure Josephine. Positive reinforcement. Like you do with toddlers.

Maybe a start chart while she is at it?

Your not asking too much of him. Do whatever you think will get him to fulfil his (minimal) obligation!

This thread illustrates beautifully the inequalities between expectations of men, women and domestic work.

But Hubby hates housework

He doesn't notice mess!!

It is easier if I do it

If these are the role models for young boys today I thank God that my dd's see their dad hoovering, cooking and cleaning to counterbalance against this 1950s culture.

FFS. For the hard of reading:

OP's husband works PART TIME.

OP also WORKS part time.

OP is NOT at home all day (see above).

OP's husband AGREED to do the washing up.

OP has every right to be pissed off.

Most posters are fuelling the op's anger and resentment. She's gonna get so wound up that her DH will really get it in the neck. How much more peaceful her evening would be if she just tried to thank him, for just one thing he does to right.
She doesn't have to mean it - but if rather be happy than right all the time

This post reminds me of the 1950s advice on how to keep your husband happy and be a good wife. 😹

Ok he didnt wash up but op what an over reaction.Piling stuff on to his instruments,thats childish.

Plus why has nobody mentioned the ops anger.Pushing and yelling.Thats not on

Why dont you cook and clean the day you are off,and your dh does the day hes off.

Because he doesn't do the things he's agreed to do, day off or not!

And no, women do not have to sacrifice their time, identities and energy to become slaves for the sake of 'peaceful houses', aka men being entitled turds!

Anger? I think the OP has every right to be bloody furious and that's just with the posters on here, acting like 1950s good wives