To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

I get this too. When I was 14, I didn't have a problem passing for 18. Since I hit my mid-20s (several years ago), apparently I look under 18.

Aged 26 and on my way to a conference where I was to speak at a relatively senior level, I popped into to Tesco to buy some bottles of wine as thank-you gifts to the conference organisers (expensive wine: not what a teenager would buy to drink down the park with their mates)... and was subjected to a mini interrogation on my date of birth, age, how old was I in x year, what year did I make up 21, etc... I was in a business suit, it was mid-morning on a Monday, I admit to having been a little .

More recently, I was leaving the doctor's surgery and on the stairwell were two young boys (perhaps aged between 5 and 7), shouting for their mum. A staff member came after them and asked if I was their mum, then before I'd even replied she quickly did a double-take and said "no of course you're not, you're far too young to be their mum!" I was 32 and again I was

When I was a teenager I had no problem getting into pubs and clubs and being served.

As soon as I hit 20 I’d get ID’d for paracetamol! and I used to get asked for ID a fair bit in my 20s and told that I “looked so young”. I was chatting to my doctor about trying for a baby and he did a double take and looked shocked until he saw my date of birth. He thought I was still at school!

Now I’m 34 and look old and haggard so if you’re lucky like me it might catch up with you!

I think you'll find this is a first world problem. You will appreciate it when you are 50 - trust me

Honestly you will be happy about it when you're 50. And gradually before you know it's happened you will no longer be the youngest looking person in the room and no-one will raise an eyebrow when you tell them how old you are.
In the meantime though, yes it's annoying.

I still get accused of being a student when I'm a professor.

The whole idea that women should be pleased they look younger than they are is patriarchy BS of the first order.

Facade bitching. Whaaaa I'm young and look it whaaa. You're worse than the in shape thin woman that eats a grape and then asks if you think it's fattening. Gimme a break. Just smile,nod and get over yourself

It is annoying. When I was in my early twenties and going out with my first boyfriend, we met up with one of his friends who had promised to give us a lift to the nightclub that evening. Well, this friend behaved like an immature prat, making jokes about how I looked 12 etc. I managed to limit myself to a mild remark about hoping I still looked thirty-two when I hit 40.

Well, that night at the club it was free entry before 9.30, but you had to bring ID. Boyfriend and I had dutifully brought ours, but idiot friend had forgotten. He was refused entry, had to drive back home to collect his ID and came back after 9.30 so had to pay the entry fee.

Laugh? I nearly snorted my Bacardi and coke up my nose.

Sometimes people just feel too free to speak and don't think about what they are saying! We were on holiday the last month I suffer from food intolerances and had really struggled to find foods I could eat so had ended up eating things I shouldn't had. By the end of the week I felt very bloated and uncomfortable it wasn't nice. The night before we left I had put a dress on to go out, by my own admission in wasn't the most flattering on my bloated self. After coming back to the hotel that night we bumped into a couple we had had a chat to in the bar the night before, as I was rounding the children up to go to bed the lady come over wished us a safe journey for the next day then said of congratulations I didn't realise last night you are expecting another little one! I didn't know what to say I blurted out something along the lines of no this is just holiday indulgence whilst being mortified she thought I looked so big I must have definitely been pregnant! We both scuttled of in separate directions as embarrest as each other! I really wish she hadn't said it even it she had thought it or even dropped a hint to confirm her thoughts as I spent the rest of night wishing I had explained it was due to my food intolerances and the lack of suitable food on the island it was awful.

Ah well. Each person only says it once. And they think they are original and insightful!

Chill. If its not that it will be something else. You'll look back at it fondly when no one says it anymore or they start saying you look older than your age!

I think it's the being treated young rather than passing comments/small talk that you look young. When I first started my job everyone thought I was still a teenager, and were incredibly shocked I was married

As a pp said, even if someone knows your age, the first impressions can linger. I've often felt that people overlook me and don't take my opinions as seriously because in their minds I'm younger than I really am.

I've also heard of people talking about me looking young, like a colleague's daughter asking her mum, "who's that little girl? She looks about 12!" and another colleague's husband saying the same. It's definitely not the worst thing to have said about you, but knowing people noticed enough to comment on it to someone else (and thought you looked 12 when you're in your mid twenties) isn't exactly a compliment either.

DH and I went to the Science Museum recently and there's AI there that's supposed to guess your age. I gave it a go, and it confirmed I look 12... So my colleagues' relatives are backed up by science

I don't get IDed any more but I was hoping that the judgement for being a young mum would sort of go away a bit as DS got older. Sigh, no, he looks older than he is so I get constantly "REALLY??? You're not old enough to be his MUM!" or people thinking they are giving me a huge compliment by saying that they thought I was his sister. I don't really find it complimentary, it just makes me feel awkward and like they are judging me for having been too young.

My daughter was asked for id when buying wine recently. She's 33. I've been told I look much younger all my life. I remember being asked if I was a half price on the train when I was 24 and pregnant (half price stopped at 14 in those days). Now I have reached the age of 60 I qualify for over 60s reduction in various places and have to take my passport to prove my age!

Had this problem too. Even GP was suspicious when I went to see him. He checked my date of birth twice commenting he thought I was the wrong person. I asked why - he thought I would look a lot older. I was 44 and he thought 30. Had it quite a bit folk even think I am my older sister's daughter. Never bothers me.

Yes its rude a faux pas, commenting on someone's appearance when you don't even know them. The more obvious the thing you are commenting on, the more irritating it will be because the more they have heard it before. Its not rocket science.

People who mean well just need it pointed out once and will accept the polite pointing out. The others don't mean well.

People telling op that she is being unreasonable, you are looking at it through rose tinted glasses. It's the social/cultural belief that it's a compliment for someone to say you look young. Op has tried to explain this. It stops being complimentary when it's an interrogation!
Labouring on a point about someone's appearance is not ok. If you ID someone that's nearly 40 the polite thing to do would be to say 'oops sorry' and move on. If someone thinks a person is much older than they are it would be considered rude to go on about it. Because it's socially understood that they would be upset by it. No one would call that 'chit chat' or 'small talk'.
Here's one that's more 'grey area' that might help you understand...
I've always had what I think is a big bum. For years I had family 'go on' about how it was 'sexy', men will like it, I'd be sorry if it was flat! I felt VERY self conscious about it. Their beliefs that it was an attractive attribute did NOT make me suddenly like it. Pointing it out all the time made me feel worse, regardless of their intention.

Just say 'yes, I've heard that one before' politely and look bored. I had the same problem when I was your age. One day you will look your age so be grateful that that day is very far off.

You'd be moaning. if you looked older than your age. Get over it.

I'm petite at 4' 10" and used to get asked for ID a lot when I was younger. I didn't see it as an issue, and I didn't take it as an insult at all. I used to say, I'll be happy when I get asked for ID when I'm older!! I am now 40+ and still get told I don't look my age. I take it as a MASSIVE compliment and thank the person for their comment! I also put it down to a great skincare routine as my skin does look better than others my age. So don't be offended in the least. It is a compliment!

I have to say, I think it's very patronising of the posters telling the op to get over herself or that she'll be glad of it when she's 50. It still bugs me and I'm in my 50's but look at least 10 years younger. It's an accident of genetics rather than anything I did or do.

I think it's rude to comment on someone's physical attributes. It's ruder still to go on about it.

I don't want to offend you but in all honesty, you need to build up some stamina and resilience. If you choose to be offended by something so insignificant, you'll struggle in future.

Don't sweat the small stuff, it's not worth it.

The checkout staff aren't being mean, they are justifying their decision to ID you as they have probably had no end of lip from other 26 year olds they have IDed (you're not that special, I've IDed plenty of 25-27 year olds even before many shops moved to Think 25).

I am nearly 40 and if someone IDs me I am ready to fall on my knees weeping in gratitude. My waxing lady said she'd be happy to look like me "at my age" and I felt like kissing her the sycophantic bitch.

I get that this is annoying for you in very real practical terms, but there are worse things than looking young.

It IS annoying when people make personal remarks about your appearance. It is rude.

Last time I got refused service for being (possibly) underage was when I was 36. Wish it still happened to be honest.