To bring to your attention this common faux pas

[Oldatheart91]

I am 26 years old and look considerably younger, think 16-18, and if I had a pound for every conversation Ive had about how young I am I would retire a happy lady.

Now I understand I look young, I accept that even now I will get ID'd for everything (even scratch cards!) BUT when i show you my ID i dont want to have to then stand there for actual long minutes whilst you tell me what I already know!

Yes I dont look my age. Yes I have been told that. Yes I dont look old enough to have a baby, run a house, do a weekly shop etc. And NO I will not be happy about it when Im 50!

I think random comments can be forgiven to an extent but from people who you have showed an ID to its just plain rude. It would be like a slimming world instructor raving to class about how you are the fattest lass yet! But still random comments, probably not welcome when people are doing ordinary things like standing at a bus stop or doing the weekly shop.

So in summary, i think any comment about how someone looks TOO anything (old, young, fat, thin etc.) is just rude and although you may think you are being nice you may infact be rubbing someones biggest insecurity in their face.

ok so you say you won't be happy about it when your 50. BUT.....i have had this all my life and trust me, at 43 and when the wrinkles start appearing on your face it's nice to be told you look younger than you actually are.
may be insulting/infuriating whatever at the moment but learn to take a compliment? it's not patronising. how would you feel if someone said "my god are you only that age????"
chill out about it ;)

I echo those previous posters who've said look if younger really doesn't help in a work context. I'm 38 and look around 10 years younger. I'm often spoken to as though I'm more junior than I am. I'm pretty sure it's held me back promotion-wise as well. Because I don't immediately look like someone who should have the word 'manager' in their job title, it's that much harder to become one!!

I mentioned the fact that i was born in the 1970s in passing in a meeting once. A woman there did a swift double take, seemed to mentally do a calculation, and then took my opinions more seriously for the remainder of the meeting!

But you will be happy about it when you're 50 though 🤔 So for that comment yabu. At 26 I was always asked. I'm 38 now and spent 10
Years living in the sun so a bit disgruntled that the aquired wrinkles have speeded up the ageing process and no one asks anymore

26 is very young. You look young because you are. Long may it continue. If you are lucky. It will pay dividends.

TheQueenSnortsAvocados

I agree. It is NEVER okay to pass comment on another person's appearance

I hope I'm not hijacking the thread, but is that true even for compliments? I'm not young, and I mourn the days when I could tell a parent in the street that they had lovely children. The rise of the fear of paedophilia has made such comments taboo, but I still wonder whether telling someone that you find them attractive is acceptable.

I know there are hard-line feminists who would be outraged at such a comment—a male friend once told me that his wife became angry if she was called a lady instead of a woman—but do the majority of people take offence at being told that you think they're lovely, pretty, handsome, beautiful, clever, sexy etc?

I totally agree!

Being under 5ft in height, and being told I'm small. As if I didn't know!

Rude and annoying.

I had this constantly when I was in my 20's and 30's. I do get it and I understand completely why you are fed up with it. I once got thrown off the 'bus because "school children weren't allowed on this route" even though I'd been at work that day and was bloody tired out.

These days I am well into my 50's - in fact, nearer 60 than 50. I still look young for my age but at least people don't make rude comments any more. And no, I don't "enjoy" it now I'm older. The only thing I do enjoy is when I start talking about receiving my pension and laughing at them when I see thir faces change.....!

Everyone is offended by everything these days. You can read anything into innocuous comments if you want to.

Oh well, in a few years all tills will be self service computers and you won't have to interact with anyone asking politely for ID or accept any compliments. No small talk required.

in a few years all tills will be self service computers and you won't have to interact with anyone asking politely for ID or accept any compliments. No small talk required

And that, is what dreams are made of.

Ah enjoy it, I went through years of 'those cannot be your kids! How old were you when you had your first?' Etc
Then its over in a blink, and no one is remotely surprised you have grandchildren

You need to learn the meaning of faux pas.

And please tell us what fucking planet you live on where you do this > if I call someone fat and they take it as a compliment (as some do)< and they take it as a compliment, because I'm flat out calling you a bullshitter on that one.

I think it's ok to remark but as the op said, you don't necessarily need a whole conversation. I got used to people 15 years younger than me saying they thought I was the same age as them. I'm 52 in December & it doesn't happen half as often now sadly 😞

It's really irritating.

People saying it's general chit chat are the kind of people who say it.

Would it be acceptable for someone to say you look old?

No.

Don't comment on people's appearance, even if you think it's a compliment. People used to say I was 'so skinny!' They meant it positively but it gave me a complex for years.

I'm 26 and I get I'd 90% of the time. I used be be so annoyed about it when I was younger.. now I feel blessed!

I used to get it all the time. Then I had ds3 and somehow aged 15 years overnight. I haven't been id'd once since he was born, which makes life simpler but does hammer home to me that I have aged a lot.

if I call someone fat and they take it as a compliment (as some do)

OP, please please do come back and tell us about the times you've called people fat and they've taken it as a compliment, it's something I've never quite got the knack of because it didn't happen

I agree with you and had this a lot when I was younger. Now aged 41 it's a different story so when I got asked for ID it made my day!

The good thing is that it won't last forever. Age catches up with everyone.

I get it a lot. I'm 34. I answered my front door to a sales person who asked to speak to my parents, I just said sorry not here and didn't get the crap sales pitch.

She also said 'you're very tall aren't you'
I said 'no, I'm standing on a step'
....i was standing on the bottom step
What a dummy

Given that there is a massive huge multi-million industry dedicated to the helping people look younger, I think the fact that you possess the magical elixir of youth is something that should be celebrated. But like an earlier poster said - you're only 26! However your curmudgeonly attitude could age you.

Over reacting. I had this through my teens and 29s. Last time I was 28 being ID for drink. I'm now hitting 40 and I can tell you I love being told I don't look my age. Take it as it's meant. A complement and move on. Its not the worst thing in the world to deal with

At 30 I was still asked for I.D.
Now a year off 50 I look it I think - for some reason the lower half of my face has dropped after the menopause and I look jowly. I always thought I'd look young for my age. So do t assume this is a lifelong attribute
But really I don't much care - I don't look older than 50 so that's ok

Try to develop a sense of humour about it or have a couple of witty retorts up your sleeve. You can't change society by calling this a faux pas.

People will literally find anything offensive these days.