Phrases/words you can't stand on MN

[cathf]

Maybe it's just me, but I'll kick off with:
Booby monster (or any kind of 'monster')
Figetbum (not seen this often, but it is so horrific I can't forget it)
Snuggly cuddles (see also milky cuddles,and sleepy cuddles or snuggles)
Newborn, used as a noun, not an adjective - as in my newborn, not my newborn baby.
I'm sure I will think of some more!

Daily Fail

I really don't notice the 'D' thing any more. Plus it's pretty easy to understand...

I have got used to DH, DD etc - but not bloody ddog, dcat etc

When someone will post "Just asked my DH and he says....." like anyone gives a hint of a fuck what someone's husband randomly thinks. "Close the thread ladies, we have our answer right here!"

Also all these twee and crap references to being middle class, titter titter, oooh aren't we hilarious. Always with a reference to avocados and hummous. EATING HUMMOUS DOESNT MAKE YOU MIDDLE CLASS YOU ABSOLUTE WAZZOCK.

HTH (I think it’s mainly used in a sarcastic way, but I could be wrong.)

This too shall pass (I know it’s used kindly, but it always jars with me.)

Interesting first post, OP.

The DH / DS / DD thing drives me mad. Not only does it not take long to type or swype "husband" or whatever, it leads to DTs, DTSs, DSDs, DGDs, DNs, and goodness knows what else. It singularly fails to make a sentence simpler and helps to make those who aren't on mumsnet very often feel excluded.

STBEH / STBEXH is the worst.

When someone will post "Just asked my DH and he says....." like anyone gives a hint of a fuck what someone's husband randomly thinks. "Close the thread ladies, we have our answer right here!"

shirley this made me howl i hate this as well!

Also 'fuck that for a game of soldiers'

Da fuck does this even mean?!

Baby dance

"Just that really",
"So" to start the post,
Leaving out "I" after "as" eg "the doorbell rang, did not answer as was busy",
"Report" without saying what issue is to be reported to whom (and people who respond "report, report, report" like histrionic daleks...

Making memories.

Urgh.

"Posted too soon."

HOW? The post button is fucking massive, and not in the dialogue box. HOW have you managed this?

And posters who post in the wrong thread. Again, HOW?

If an OP finishes their post then writes 'GO' like we're a pack of animals dying to jump on there incredibly interesting boring as shit thread.

Thankfully they always get their arse handed to them

No idea why it irritates me, but "hauntingly beautiful"

'OP that's hilarious, I just spat my tea out!'

No you fucking didn't. This never happened. You might have smiled but you didn't spit anything out and if you did your a knob.

I've done both of those TypicallyEnglishMustard.

Posting too soon is more when I've meant to write something but I've other stuff to comment on and I miss it out.

I love this thread

'Have name changed as this is very outing'
Only it never is. Same as posters who start threads about things like their children's names then won't say what it is 'because it might out me' Yeah cos your kid is the only one in the country with that name

Yes to the unnamed "hobbies" (always for adults & "activities" (always for children,
"My city" or "my country",
On the other hand, I love "wind your neck in" & "necky" for a cheeky person.

'You should move to a detached house if you don't like the noise'

Yep, I'll just pack my shit and walk in to the nearest one tomorrow.

hubby
boob monster
such and such 'is your friend' (not talking about actual friendships with humans, when someone's asked for advice about getting a stain out, and someone else says 'vanish is your friend')

Do people still say squee on here a lot?
oh, and nom nom

"Cool wife" or "cool girlfriend" for anyone who doesn't happen to share the exact same boundaries or insecurities as the poster.

"Handmaid" if you don't happen to share the same views on feminism as the poster.

It's so fucking insulting and basically means 'my view on the world is right and no good woman should disagree with me'. We get to be different!

The only word I really hate on here (and it's the only place I've EVER seen it used) is "boak". It honestly makes me shudder.

Any phrase that is berating a poster for 'poor' spelling/grammar. It's not like we're writing a thesis on the English language.

The 'D' prefixes. It's awful. Especially nauseating when some poor newbie gets laughed at for saying "hubby" by people who use "DH"

Norks

Sanpro

Give your head a wobble

The mysterious "hobbies"

"This will out me, but..." usually followed by something like "I swim every Saturday" or "I have two children at private school."

CF. It's the new "cancel the cheque" and even less funny.

"Fuming." I never hear anybody outside of Mumsnet fuming.

Complicated stories with random pseudonyms.

“Friend A is friends with Friend B, they went to school together, Friend B isn’t talking to Friend C because her and Friend D went on a night out with a male friend, let’s call him Malcolm, and Malcolm was flirting with Friend A. Now friend D is upset with Malcolm and Friend B, so WIBU to invite Malcolm’s daughter’s friend’s dog to Friend C’s night do and should I cancel the cheque?”

WTAF

I must be more tolerant than I thought. None of these bother me particularly. However, there is one word that absolutely makes me cringe every time... I can hardly bring myself to type it... Here goes....

"Luffs"

as in "I luffs it I do"