Phrases/words you can't stand on MN

[cathf]

Maybe it's just me, but I'll kick off with:
Booby monster (or any kind of 'monster')
Figetbum (not seen this often, but it is so horrific I can't forget it)
Snuggly cuddles (see also milky cuddles,and sleepy cuddles or snuggles)
Newborn, used as a noun, not an adjective - as in my newborn, not my newborn baby.
I'm sure I will think of some more!

Spit tea over my keyboard

I hate that too.

Then everyone tries to outdo each other.

I laughed.

I laughed so hard I woke baby up.

I just spat tea all over the keyboard.

I'm wheezing so much with laughter.

I have tears rolling down my face.

My dh just woke up and came downstairs to ask what I was laughing at.

The most I have ever managed is a smile.

Hubby/hubs
Boob
Sanpro
Plate up
Narcissist/sociopath/psychopath/limerance

Head tilt

Death stare

Aridane

Some of those are just words? What have you got against mooncup and vulva?

What is sanpro?!?)

Norks

Log it with 101

^ oh the famous log it with 101 how could I forget!

Fanjo - never heard it before in my life until Mumsnet.

Sanpro - just why?!

DTD - did the deed. No you had sex, fucked, shagged, made love (if you have to say this), but please no 'dtd.'

There are many more, but these three probably irritate me the most.

fruit - just the messianic belief in mooncups , and anatomical insistence on vulva

Anatomical insistence!

I thought "sanpro" was a brand name for a long time.

My pet hates:

"Boob to sleep"- excuse me whilst I vomit.
"Such-and-such person, let's call them..."- no, let's not.
And ending a sentence with comma no question mark, as in, "It's easy, no?" Can't stand it. So many people on MN do this.

Booby
Hubs
Hun
Bubba
Head tilt
Give your head a wobble

LTB - for ages I thought it was a type of sandwich...

Seriously though, what is a sanpro? I've never seen it used...

Also, discussion of grown adults having "hobbies" which are always unnamed.

Just tell us that your bloody husband golfs/surfs/does taxidermy, why refuse to name it?!

'Gives me the rage' grrr

"What is sanpro?"

Sanitary Protection, it encompasses towels/tampons/mooncups.

I hate Suck it up.

And I've never got the "did you mean to be so rude", most of the rude fuckers that I know would just say Yes, or say they were just stating facts.

I am irrationally irritated by the way "are you on glue" is taken as somehow being original to MN, as opposed to every teens favourite phrase from clueless

Oh god yes, the magical hotline for MNers to report anything that they are vaguely offended or troubled by.

Lawyer up - makes me cringe, so trying to sound cool.
Not so much as in I like red dresses, blue dresses not so much. I have never, ever heard this said in RL.
Dying here - no you're not, don't exaggerate.

Ltb
And any reference to abuse of some sort where it isn't relative (such as DH not making a cup of tea or going on a night out)
Ducks in a row
Livid and furious where it isn't necessary (furious about Uber situation springs to mind!)

In short, a lot of aibu replies annoy me because people can't just offer an opinion, they have to insist they are right if someone does something different.

Co-worker really gets my goat (outside Mumsnet too). COLLEAGUE!!!!!!

On the boob
DTD. You had sex FGS. It’s ok to say it.
Norks
Sibset
Forever home

Tinkly little laugh

Seriously, who does this outside of 1955?