Phrases/words you can't stand on MN

[cathf]

Maybe it's just me, but I'll kick off with:
Booby monster (or any kind of 'monster')
Figetbum (not seen this often, but it is so horrific I can't forget it)
Snuggly cuddles (see also milky cuddles,and sleepy cuddles or snuggles)
Newborn, used as a noun, not an adjective - as in my newborn, not my newborn baby.
I'm sure I will think of some more!

Just the general readiness to call everything 'abuse'.

What's with this magic hotline which you ring to log things? Does it really exist?

as in "I luffs it I do"

montana that made my toes curl

"I have found my people"
"Are you new to MN"
"Daily Fail"
"You must be a man"
"My child doesn't lie" (bwahahaha-course he doesn't love)
"Haven't we had this thread before"
"Are you the thread police"
"Peace and Love"

Shirley . It's like my husband is so cool/laid back/loving/fair etc so clearly his view is massively influential.
Hate the 'think' thing too.
Also the 'you sound.....' it's usually so nasty and uncalled for.
Holibobs and making memories

"Like my brother always says, no shit Sherlock"

(Then in a subsequent post same user ... )

"No shit Sherlock"

Oh fuck off!!! Just because your brother says it doesn't mean he invented it and you sound a twat copying off him anyway!!!

"Makes me teeth itch" - makes no sense.

"Daily Fail" - sounds like an insult a 7 year old would make up

"You sound grabby" - wtf does grabby mean??

"DH reckons ... " who gives a fuck? Who made your DH the voice of reason?

Didn't want to read and run

No one knows you read it! Why bother posting this if you have nothing helpful/productive to add?????

Oh and "is he controlling in other ways?" As a reply to something like:

"My DH spends too long on the toilet"

Oh and "I haven't had time to read the whole thread but my answer is....". Oh thank Christ, we were waiting for you to pop along and let us know what you think. Thanks every so much for fitting us in to your busy day, your answer is definitely the most important one on here.

YY to 'are you the thread police'. As if anyone could police a thread and stop people posting or make them post something they didn't want to.

hummus and nibbly bits

Always suggested when annyone asks what to feed kids

Also - kill them with kindness

Like when someone is being an arse and instead of calling them out you are supposed to be extra nice to them

I'm going to go against the grain here
Makes my teeth itch
Twee
I think your getting an unnecessary hard time here...
You seem unhinged

Hate the D’s too or any acronyms. Though have been guilty myself.

Little man

Hobbies

Name changed - does it really matter if you are a regular. Does the advice change ?

Placemarking

Unmumsnetty hugs (what the fuck does this mean)

Not read the whole thread (then why would your contribution help)

No is a whole sentence, or whatever bollocks the 'I have nothing helpful to add' brigade post

Pom bears, naice ham .......

Fanjo
Sanpro
Are you on glue?

Get your ducks in a row
Phone 101 and get it logged
Did you mean to be so rude? (This is the shittest comeback in the history of comebacks, btw)
Are you me?

Incorrect past tenses and participles. It's only started recently. 'I seen him yesterday', 'she's just went into town', etc.

Yy (that's another one, tbh ) to the excessive concern with being outed and the whole 'This might out me, but my dd goes to a school, think small village primary'.

The 'are you [the object of the OP's ire, for example]?' on threads directed at people expressing a somewhat different opinion from the groupthinking majority.

'Far too young' as in '12 is far too young to be allowed to walk to the corner shop alone' (possibly from the same posters who love to boast about how their 3yos watched and understood Harry Potter )

'in the nicest possible way' followed by something horrible and insulting I.e. 'in the nicest possible way you sound completely unhinged'. People use it like a disclaimer, as if it cancels out whatever horrific hateful bile generally follows it.

'Bits' as in going to 'the shop' (incongruous when said shop is a huge Tesco) to get 'some bits'.

The following makes me curl a lip on MN
Judging
Hubby
Entitled
Use of the word much after something. Like ‘jealous much?’

Fuming
Mooncup
Vegan

Pearl clutching 😠

@LondonNanny90 Best never move to Scotland or NI then - “boak” is in common use!

I quite like that Mumsnet has its own dialect of sorts - I’m a bit of a linguist nerd and it’s interesting to watch it develop and change. BUT “boob to sleep” makes me shudder, I have to confess, and while I don’t mind the DH/DD/DS etc I find Ddog, Dcat utterly ridiculous. Also BM when talking about a child’s mother, unless either a) the person talking is the child and that’s their preferred term or b) said child has been adopted / estranged.

Activity - 'my daughter was out at an activity' why have my children never been to an activity? Where are they held?

Furbaby - I love my pets, I really do. I have 8 of them but I have never understood furbaby. Does pet insinuate you aren't that keen on them?

Vulva - I know it's not vagina and should be vulva but everyone calls it vagina even my bloody doctor and I have never heard anyone say vulva in real life.

Pop - why does everyone 'pop' everywhere. 'I just popped to the shops' 'I popped two in' 'I popped next door'

I'll think of more I am sure..

Cohort

"Talk to me about..."

The Ds, as in DH, DD, DS, Ddog, Dbudgie.

Rocked up
Heads up