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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Regale me with Cheeky Fucker stories

858 replies

TellMeItsNotTrue · 24/09/2017 15:31

I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, bored and pissed off with the whole situation, AIBU to ask you to entertain me with your tales of CFs?

BTW daily fail and other websites/newspapers can fuck off, my fee for this piece of journalism is 2 million pounds and a takeaway pizza, non-negotiable so if you don't agree to those terms then kindly FTFOTFOSM

The only one I can think of at the moment is last year when a neighbour knocked at our house, we get on great with most of our neighbours but this one looks down her nose at everyone and keeps herself to herself. She told me that I needed to make sure I was home the following day Confused I asked why and was told I needed to be in for the delivery Hmm wasn't my birthday and didn't have anything ordered so I asked what was being delivered and how did she know "oh it's not for YOU tinkly laugh no, its from laura Ashley you see" still none the wiser I ask who it's for then and why do I have to be in "well because they said it will be tomorrow and I have appointments! I will be getting my hair done and of course my nails, so I've told them to deliver it here" she then walked off leaving me with my jaw on the floor. I made sure I was out the following day and just put the we missed you card through her door when I got home, not spoken a word to me since, but that isn't unusual for her anyway

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
RevRichardWayneGaryWayne · 07/06/2018 12:03

I think the best CF thread was the lady who came home to find the neighbours were installing patio doors from their home into her private garden!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2990400-New-neighbour-using-my-private-garden?pg=10&order=

I believe that's where CF / CFN first started as an abbreviation, but could be wrong!

follygirl · 07/06/2018 12:39

My car got stolen recently from my driveway in the middle of the night. Luckily my dh woke up (gravel driveway) and phoned the police who managed to get my car back within 3 minutes!!!

The thief was found in my car and has pleaded not guilty in court the CF!!!!

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 07/06/2018 12:52

My ex friend used to often invite me and DH (then DP) over to hang out.

When we arrived the first time he asked if we wanted tea/coffee. We said tea would be great and he said 'Great I'll have one. I still take 2 sugars.' I kid you not. I thought he was joking but nope, he wasn't.

The next time we came same happened so I went to go over to the shops instead to get a coke and some snacks as he hadn't offered food either and he asked me to pick him up some - without offering to pay either. I said no at that point.

One of many reasons we are ex friends. Wow there's lots of CFs about.

crispysausagerolls · 07/06/2018 17:45

For my bridal shower my mother and bridesmaid insisted on paying for an extremely expensive day - none of the 10 guests had to contribute. The shower was in April and people were informed in January, given exact date etc. CF lived abroad but close enough to have got a very cheap flight over (she is very comfortable and lives rent-free, has a good job etc) had she booked at the time. Bridesmaid repeatedly confirmed numbers as she and my mother had to pre-pay per person and it was non-refundable. Up until a week before CF insisted she was coming (she was offered to stay at my place for free). 2 days before she said she wasn't coming (which lost bridesmaid a lot of money) and was SO RUDE about it e.g "not my fault you decided to pay for everyone" - YES CF BUT YOU SAID 10000 TIMES YOU WERE COMING.

This CF is the same person who has asked for my address on 4 occasions to send gifts (wedding, house warming, birthday etc - none of which were expected) and nothing has ever arrived. Like I did not want or expect the presents but WHY PRETEND TO SEND PRESENTS WHY NOT JUST SAY NOTHING!?!?! So fucking weird.

keyboardkate · 07/06/2018 17:54

Years ago a good friend and I went to the Far East on an adventure. It was in fairness a bit of struggle financially for friend, but we got there.

I was earning a lot more than her, and subbed a good many things along the way. She never ever paid for anything for the two of us, just for herself. But I am a generous sort lol.

One day we were in a market and I spotted a gorgeous bag. Friend grabbed it and when I said, please let me have it, I have paid for a lot of things for you already, she would NOT relinquish the bag, the bitch.

Anyway after a day or two of me fuming, I moved out of our accommodation and found a cheap alternative. Bye bye old friend. Saw her at the airport on the way back and asked another passenger to swop seats as I could not bear to sit beside her on a twelve hour flight.

She hadn't a care in the world. I often think these people are just plain sociopaths or something. But that (to some) little thing taught me a big lesson in not being a pushover ever again. Hasn't changed my generous ways, but now only with people who appreciate it.

Knittedfairies · 07/06/2018 18:44

I can’t find out what happened to the poster who had new neighbours trying to pinch her garden; can anyone enlighten me? Thank you!

Brieonabagel · 08/06/2018 00:40

My friend knew we were having ‘just a small buffet for the family’ for our sons birthday tea because we were very low on money. Birthday tea is laid out and we usually sing happy birthday and place birthday cake on table with the (on this occasion, limited to 7 family members, us and 2 gp) spread.
‘Ding Dong’ goes the doorbell, it’s the friend, her dh and their 3 kids!!! (They’re not invited!)
They invite themselves in and give my ds a card. Then proceed to have a discussion... Her dh says ‘what’s for tea hun?’ She replies ‘I thought you were grabbing chips on the way home for the kids and then ordering us a curry??’ He replies ‘I’ve forgot my wallet hun, sorry’
We’re all sat there trying to be polite, not touching our buffet which is on the table because it won’t stretch to 5 more Confused (it was literally a few sandwiches, cocktail sausages and crisps)
Then she starts ‘oh, so what will the kids eat? It’s already past their teatime!’
We all sat there and waited for about an hour until they left before we started eating Angry
Another friend, same ds, different birthday, turned up at 5pm with her 2 dc with his card (it did contain £10) she asked what we were doing for his birthday so we told her we were doing x activity at the weekend but allowing him dominoes for his tea tonight, as a treat... we ordered dominoes at 8pm after that friend finally left following lots of ‘what shall we do for tea, kids? Comments from friend... to clarify, we aren’t well off, at all. First CF’s aren’t either, perhaps they were trying it on to get some much needed free food?? but 2nd CF mother is very, very comfortable to say the least. I don’t think she really realises what ‘skint’ is Hmm

Nationvalley25 · 08/06/2018 00:41

@Knittedfairies I think it turned out to be worse in the end :-( the CFN disappeared after the OPs wall collapsed and her flat wasn’t uninhabitable :-( and her Gran (spangran) was poorly at the time too. I often wonder what happened to her and the whole situation :-( I think she was called @whatisthiswatt ? But I could be wrong!

Nationvalley25 · 08/06/2018 00:41

Bloody autocorrect I meant wasn’t habitable *

RevRichardWayneGaryWayne · 08/06/2018 07:55

@knittedfairies - link to the original thread here, but there were 10 in total!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2990400-New-neighbour-using-my-private-garden?pg=10&order=

Knittedfairies · 08/06/2018 09:03

Thanks Rev - I did read 8 (?) threads but couldn’t find the last one.
The wall collapsed?! Egads..

Theweasleytwins · 08/06/2018 09:18

I think the cfn were ordered to replace the wall and window-they were related to the builders that dos it i think

It was a grade listed building too so was going to be rather expensive

I think police/council were involved so op had to stop posting

Nationvalley25 · 08/06/2018 16:15

@Theweasleytwins yes you’re right but then there was one more thread after that. Op said that the wall had ended up collapsing, the doors still remained and the CFN had disappeared :-( I hope she does come back one day and let us know it all got sorted in the end. CF can cause a lot of amusement on here and in real life sometimes but they can really cause havoc with their self entitlement :-(

Theweasleytwins · 08/06/2018 17:13

😱thank you @Nationvalley25 hadn't seen that!!

Knittedfairies · 08/06/2018 17:21

@Nationvalley25 thanks for taking the trouble to find that; much appreciated.
Surely this must be the Worst Case of NDNCF on the whole of Mumsnet? Unless you know differently...

Nationvalley25 · 08/06/2018 18:06

@Knittedfairies shocking isn’t it ! I felt awful because it had all been fairly light hearted at the end and I thought how awful it was but at least it had been sorted and then look! I’m not even sure it can be called CFery anymore as it’s past that point surely!

I have read most of the CF stories on here... think I’m obsessed 🙈🙈

MismatchedStripySocks · 09/06/2018 17:05

Mine is from this afternoon. Have lived next door to CF for 18 months and in that time they have: regularly played booming music at all times, allowed their daughters to jump on their trampoline and look in our garden, chucked things in our garden (including a paddling pool) didn’t repair their fence for 6 months so their girls would sometimes be IN our garden! I could go on. Anyway, we let it go for an easy life.

Today, CF comes over and says ‘not being funny but can you tell your son not to cut across my grass when getting to the pavement’ He has done this ONCE!

I just said fine and went inside but if he says it again I will definitely raise the other issues. Such a lack of self awareness Grin

keyboardkate · 09/06/2018 20:51

It is SO quiet around here that I wouldn't even consider raising my voice!

So lucky. So far anyway.

Original poster
TellMeItsNotTrue · 11/06/2018 00:17

Love that this has been added to, I've not had any recently that I can add, which is both brilliant and annoying Wink Grin

OP posts:
C0rdelia · 11/06/2018 02:45

Just got a new employee who, when asked to proof read a document, has rewritten it - with many errors. English isn’t her first language but she’s confident enough to ‘correct’ it. Still fuming.

C0rdelia · 11/06/2018 02:48

The pages are a sea of red in editing.

m0therofdragons · 11/06/2018 20:17

@C0rdelia a colleague of mine had to upload a presentation onto the lecture room screen ready for the CEO to give a full staff briefing. He'd asked her to add a logo to the first page. She interpreted that as him saying "change it all around for me so you think it looks better". He's a highly experienced ceo and she's a secretary. More importantly, she failed to mention her "improvements" and change of order so he was highly surprised as he clicked through the pages! He handled it like a pro but afterwards he was fuming!

underneaththeash · 25/07/2018 15:46

I don't think I've put this one on yet, but a couple of years ago I went to Lanzarote for a week with the children but without DH as he hadn't any holiday left.
A woman by the pool asked me to watch her DS whilst she went to the loo, I said that was fine, but we had to leave in 20 minutes.

Anyway 30 minutes later, there was no sign of her and I had to take her wet child, wrapped in a towel to reception as the lifeguards at the pool couldn't unstand what I was trying to tell them. I then dropped my lot off at the kids club after getting them changed and headed for the spa.

I'd missed the first 20 minutes of my massage, but went to their spa area for a relax afterwards only to see the mother in the jacuzzi. I was absolutely livid and asked her what the hell she thought she was doing abandoning her child with me. I then rang reception to tell them where she was and she was asked to leave the spa a few minutes later.

That evening she pushed a note through our door apologising and explained that she was a single mother and needed some time by herself and she hadn't meant to inconvenience me . The really odd thing though is that the hotel had the most amazing free kids club where she could have left her child.

MsSquiz · 25/07/2018 18:04

My DM helped her best friend buy a new 3 piece suite on interest free credit (friend has horrendous credit) (put DM's bank details down for monthly payments, friend would transfer the money into DM's account each month)
DM found out she had a terminal illness, made me promise to pay of the remaining money on the suite for friend and friend knew of this arrangement.
DM died, I (only child) sorted funeral out myself (while planning my wedding) sitting at the end of DM's wake with a few family members and DH, friend walks past me to leave, stops and says "just let me know when I can collect the table and chairs from DM's house" Hmm
Family sat in silence, I just said "ok"

Friend then went on to request lawn mower, strimmer, various other gardening bits, and an expensive mirror and side table. She got none of it other than the table and chairs, and I got my aunt to be there for her to collect.