Regale me with Cheeky Fucker stories

[TellMeItsNotTrue]

I'm stuck in bed feeling ill, bored and pissed off with the whole situation, AIBU to ask you to entertain me with your tales of CFs?

BTW daily fail and other websites/newspapers can fuck off, my fee for this piece of journalism is 2 million pounds and a takeaway pizza, non-negotiable so if you don't agree to those terms then kindly FTFOTFOSM

The only one I can think of at the moment is last year when a neighbour knocked at our house, we get on great with most of our neighbours but this one looks down her nose at everyone and keeps herself to herself. She told me that I needed to make sure I was home the following day I asked why and was told I needed to be in for the delivery wasn't my birthday and didn't have anything ordered so I asked what was being delivered and how did she know "oh it's not for YOU tinkly laugh no, its from laura Ashley you see" still none the wiser I ask who it's for then and why do I have to be in "well because they said it will be tomorrow and I have appointments! I will be getting my hair done and of course my nails, so I've told them to deliver it here" she then walked off leaving me with my jaw on the floor. I made sure I was out the following day and just put the we missed you card through her door when I got home, not spoken a word to me since, but that isn't unusual for her anyway

This is very tame in comparison to all the previous ones, but here goes.

My SIL and I have a pretty neutral relationship. A couple of years ago we were working abroad for 6 months so our house was sitting empty. We come home for a visit during that time and I'm playing and talking to my niece (SIL's daughter), and she drops into conversation that her mother had got the keys to our house (that we had left with FIL) and let herself and the nieces in to show around since random friends of hers because the friend apparently wanted to see what paint we had used on our walls!

So they all looked around our house and the niece repeated pretty much word for word what this friend thought of all my paint choices. Apparently she didn't like most of them!

If my SIL had just had the respect and courtesy to just ring me and ask first then I would have just said yes. But, what ended up happening was me feeling that my privacy was utterly violated and showed me what an entitled person she is and clearly has no respect for me.

It still enrages me to this day, because who does she think she is that she thinks she can bring random people round to our house when we're not there?!?!

We did make it very clear what we thought when we very pointedly took the keys back from FIL.

I had one once:

It was with an old uni friend at my wedding. We wanted a small-ish do so has invited close family and friends - 50 in total. It cost us about £150 p/p for the wedding.

We chose to only invite partners of friends if we knew them well - partly to save money, partly because we didn’t want people there we didn’t know. We knew some people would be upset but we were happy for them to also come to the evening do only/both not come etc.

Anyway. He turns up with his gf (who we’d met twice) to the church. We let that go as plenty of room/no biggie. We then ask an usher (an ex housemate of his) to make sure he knows she’s welcome to come back for the evening do. There was no seat for her at the meal/name card/favour etc.

Next thing we see is the pair of them walking down for the reception. Bit weird. We get there after having a few snaps to find them there drinking the free drinks and eating the canapés. Usher has another word. They then go inside the venue and speak to the catering manager. She comes up to us about 5 mins later and apologised for the oversight of not having a place set for the gf and explains it’ll be done immediately.

Well, at that point I had to stop my wife from marching over to the gf and ramming her bouquet down her throat/up her arse.

Another usher, who had never met them before, went over and politely explained that they were both now not welcome. They both left but not before trying to trash us to the rest of the uni friend group.

Thing is they all knew he had form for being a CF and none of them liked her either.

Haven’t heard from him in 5 years. Happy days.

Christmas is prime time for cheeky fuckers so hopefully there will be some stories to share, please help to distract me from what's looking like an all nighter with sick (just a bug but DC not taking it well) child

I loaned my friend £20. 4 months later she eventually said she could pay me back and proceeded to produce several jars of 1 and 2 pence pieces!! They were so heavy I could barely lift them so told her I wasn't going to accept them and she had a massive huff. I never did get my money back and she is no longer a friend.

My lodger (who was my colleague and supposedly one of my closest friends) moved a friend of hers into my house without asking and got her a key cut for her without my permission, supposedly as a stopgap until she found work and a house of her own. After a month, with neither of these things materialising I said to my friend that it was only fair her "guest" paid her share of the bills instead of me footing the extra. My friend went ballistic and said I was uncharitable and didn't realise how lucky I was owning my own house and that I should help those more disadvantaged than me. I pointed out to my lodger that we were on exactly the same salary, so if she felt like buying her own house and using it as a refuge, she should feel free! They both moved out shortly after that.

A relative of mine is a multi millionaire, they were getting married and gave everyone a gift list to choose which gifts to give them for their mansion. I started a thread about it and apparently I was unreasonable, people should buy things for really rich people.

Dippy sadly I remember the waitress making the woman’s drink . With CFs like that, I think businesses feel they have to cater to them lest they get the dreaded 1 star trip advisor review

A family member rung me up and said 'can you look after DS (4yr) for an hour'
I said yeah, i also had my 6 month old, then when they arrived he said
'Dont play with him, hes here because he has been naughty!'
WTF?!?!

Had a BF who over the years lived in my house rent free, took my 3 year olds ds room and ds stayed on sofa bed for 6 months, took food, cash, gig tickets as i wanted her to be there and she was cash poor at times. i would bring her shopping when she had no food in her flat or bring plants and help her with the garden, stored all her belongings for 3 months when she went to vietnam and on and on until i asked to store some of my belongings in her shed as my landlord was being difficult and i would have to stay with my family. I got a sharp no! It was an empty shed and she had never used it? It was a total shock as it was the first time i had asked her for help and i left her life not long after but being used like that has left its mark on me.

Wincy why on earth would you make your 3yr old sleep on a sofa bed??

I had a CF flatmate in my second year of uni. Just a few CF occurrences:

• ate all our food out the fridge. Was a strict veggie, so after we had all asked her to stop and she didn't, we took to 'hiding' meat in pasta, sauces etc. and feeling justified when she nicked it.

• had regular morning sex in the one shared bathroom with her boyfriend, usually at the time we all needed to get ready for lectures- and left used condoms on the toilet lid more that once.

• refused to pay for internet and she 'didn't need it' and then frequently asked us for the password.

• basically moved her drippy boyfriend in

• stole our clean clothes off the clothes horse and wore them. Took my other housemates new cardi and All Saints skirt on holiday with her - and got a hole in the cardi.

She was a right nobber.

Tellme Pleeeeeeease day that your friend put a stop to that shower business?!?!?!

@Grumpyrealist77 I'm really hoping your wife confronted the CF? What was said???

I'm one of 5 children, when my mother died she left equal shares in her house to each of us. All good.

Then my sister, who was the oldest, informed us that she had decided that the best plan was that she got all of our shares for her lifetime, but we would get our shares in HER will.

When we laughed and said Uh, NO, she cried and said we'd never wanted her to be happy.

My mum has a heart of gold and is regularly being taken advantage of. She does a lot for our local hospice and regularly helps them out with fundraising/support.

One event was a sponsored something (walk? Run? Can’t remember). She had promised to run/walk it with a friends daughter who wanted to help too. This friends daughter said she’d “organise” the collection of money as my mum was always busy so just hand everything over and she’ll pay it in. The daughter didn’t do the event as she ‘hurt her ankle’ and then took forever and a day to hand over any of the money.

After a few months, my mum got fed up and demanded that she hand over the money to the hospice immediately and the daughter confessed that she didn’t have all of it anymore as she “urgently needed it”. My mum saw red and paid the remaining balance and demanded the rest be paid to her. It took over 6 months of nagging her and finally my mum told her mum what had happened and how she had stolen the money intended for the hospice and the mum paid straight away sheepishly. She thought it was known that the daughter shouldn’t be trusted with money

My mum still hasn’t got over it and still worries about doing fundraising events

Cubs Scout mum...."little jonny not really enjoying cubs so not coming back in January." - fair enough. but "would really like to come on summer camp".

Summer camp in August. Heavily subsidised childcare, paid for out of subs, fundraising etc. for a week.

Thought it quite unfair that he couldnt come along...

Names changed here, because.
Friends of my son went to a chain restaurant, owned by a famous chef. Jokingly said to waiter, Oh, is xxxxxxxxxxxxx in tonight? Yes he is, would you like to meet him? So comes over, chat chat, selfie. When they get the bill, fifty quid bunged on for "meet and greet"

A neighbour of my (then) recently deceased Dad, who lived two doors up, tried telling me we needed to chip in with Dynorod as his drain was blocked! His drain was blocked because HIS CF NDN to his left had been flushing nappies and all sorts down the toilet!

Luckily we told him no!

I don't know why Hunter is getting bullied so much on what's supposed to be a light-hearted thread, it's pretty bad parenting to demand one adult child give their possessions to another.

I agree. Hunter told some good stories but I find her mother hilarious for coming back to defend herself - get over it, DM!!

My sister in law booked some hotel rooms for her friends to stay at a hotel I worked at for a long weekend ( I got a 74% friends and family discount) one of the girls demanded her own room (not to share) had steaks, bottles of wine and spa treatments and then LEFT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. She messsaged SIL saying she knew she didn’t have any money to pay it from the day It was booked but didn’t want to be left out. I had to pay the bill (£300) until my SIL could pay me back

Littlejayx - oh my god!!! Did your sister in law ever speak to her again? Going and saying you didn't have the money but didn't want to be left out is just admitting you're a cf!

LakieLady

We have a CF manager

Where do these jobs get advertised?

Ex friend made us all pay for usual hair/make up/ expensive hen weekend 10 hours travelling away (think £600+) whilst I was single Mum on benefits. Went full Bridezilla on anyone who dared suggest cheaper alternatives, expected everyone to drop any plans last minute then finally the wedding came, everyone was expected to contribute £50 to their wedding night hotel room.
They divorced after 7 months

Worked with a CF who would regularly scrounge cigarettes off junior employees. His excuse was that he couldn't buy his own as his wife who also worked there didn't know he still smoked.

When he left I wrote 'don't forget your fags' on his leaving card.

My sister (who I am now NC) is the biggest CF I have ever met. Eternally a victim she will use whatever sob story she can to find her next prey.

A few years back she saw a car she liked but it was 30 miles away. She told me she had been saving for ages and It was a good price £1200 and she asked if I could take my DH to have a look at it. (I live 20 miles from her and the car was 30 miles in the other direction). DH offered to pick her up and take her on the 100 mile trip but she came up with some excuse and asked if we could go as “she didn’t want to miss out”. We went and car was lovely and sound, we called sister and she said she wanted it and so we paid for it and sorted the insurance and then I drove it to my sisters. She opened the door and took one look at it and decided she didn’t want it.

She actually stood there and told us to take it away. She said we could get the money back for it by selling it ourselves (which we ended up doing). She didn’t even offer us the petrol money for it.

There is a long list of Cheeky fuckery when it comes to my sister.

We had a sales woman work for our company and who got fired for underperforming.

A week later we got a 5k bill from a big theatre where she had been taking groups of up to 10 mates to see shows in the VIP section.

The following week we got a call from a garden centre where she had bought a load of ornamental trees and given her business card, telling them to bill the company because they were for us-this was 2 weeks after she had been fired!